Let's Watch The Worst TV Show Ever: WWE NXT Episodes 1&2

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turboman

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#1  Edited By turboman
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Episodes 1 & 2

The premise behind WWE NXT seasons is insanely goofy to begin with. It's a sort of a weekly reality game show featuring young wrestlers trying to make a name for themselves. There are wrestling matches every week between the two contestants or their "Pros", and then there are weird competitions that fight for immunity during elimination weeks. Sometimes the competitions are relavent towards the actual world of professional wrestling like cutting a minute long promo featuring the word "teeth", other times it's just plane stupid. For example, they could do a flag race around the wrestling ring and call it a competition.

By the time NXT season three began, WWE was already in the process of moving their friday night Smackdown show over to the Syfy network, which is where NXT is hosted every week on Tuesdays. So the season was already doomed when it was going to be forced to move over from cable television to WWE's awful website at the time. But no, we also had to sprinkle in the fact that this season was exclusive to rookie WWE Divas. If you had any memories from previous NXT's, it would be the dream matches from the independent superstars vs. current day legends. Bryan Danielson vs. Chris Jericho. The evolution of Nexus spawned out of NXT. There is absolutely nothing to hold on to from this season.

That is except the wonderful commentary duo formed by Josh Matthews and Michael Cole. For the first episode, they are relatively tame and they do their best to try and make what was happening on screen to look better than it actually is. The crowd hates every girl that is in the season, so it's hard for the commentary to say their definitely behind one of the competitors. It only took one episode before they turn it around and start shitting on the show that they are announcing at every opportunity they are given. In the second episode, Cole decides to bring along a gong to the ring and interrupts the show three times in one night and "quits" at the end of the episode. It only gets worse from here.

I made a video from my favorite parts of the first two episodes below.

If you'd like to watch the two incredible episodes yourself in full, go here for Episode 1, and go here for Episode 2

Episode 3

At the end of Episode 2, Michael Cole quit the show because he couldn't allow his name to be associated with it. This meant the seat next to Josh Matthews was empty... and allowed the spot to be filled by possibly the best man on the mic in all of wrestling, CM Punk. Immediately, Punk begins to rip into the show. It was extremely interesting to hear Punk's immediate reaction to all of the ladies attempt at cutting a promo during the "talk the talk" segment... only admitting that AJ's promo on "Caffeine" was the only one that had a chance at winning. I also enjoyed the moment where Jamie and Naomi refused to talk about the subject given to them, asking the audience if they really wanted to hear them talk about "teeth", etc... it went right over their heads that at least 25% of wrestling is the ability to cut an entertaining promo.

Halfway through the show, Michael Cole made his SHOCKING come back to NXT. He was a bit more tame than the last episode since Punk was the man handing out all the hate throughout the show.

Episodes 4 & 5

We are running towards the first elimination by episode 4 & 5. In Episode 4, there wasn't one single wrestling match. Half of the show was devoted to recapping what happened on Smackdown and Raw that week. It was the last episode that was aired on SyFy, and it ended with a weak "Diss the Divas" segment... it's pretty clear that WWE had lost all faith in this show at this point. On week 5, we get a talent show, a tag team match, a bull riding competition, and a main event of Kaitlyn vs. Vickie Guerrero. At the end of the show, the invisible Jamie was eliminated. Maxine begins some weird angle with Hornswaggle, Aksana is still concerned about being deported (where her home country of Lithuania is going to beat her with shovels).

Overall, a tremendous two weeks for the program!

Episodes 6 & 7

Limbo! Ben Gay! Punching Contest! And the worst fucking match you'll ever see in your entire life!

Episodes 8 & 9

We're getting down to it! The end is almost in sight! Episodes 8 & 9 are very special in the NXT season, since on Episode 9 we finally get to the beautiful wedding for Goldust and Aksana. I'm actually somewhat impressed with the effort that WWE went to to make this wedding seem somewhat nice. They flew it Goldust's father, "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes and even let Cody Rhodes be there as well. Ted Dibiase Jr. tried to disrupt the wedding by buying out the minister, but in the most ironic way possible, Dusty hired Dibiase Sr. just in case something bad happened! We also had a Kissing Contest saved by a really nice segment put on by Cody Rhodes.

Maxine was eliminated, Cole and Matthews watch a movie while a match is going on, tons of puns, and more!

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GunslingerPanda

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#2  Edited By GunslingerPanda

Ugh, only episode 1 is available in England on Youtube apparently. It was hilariously awful though. I also think I may be in love with Kaitlyn.

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DisposableUser

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#3  Edited By DisposableUser

I had no idea that episode one had the greatest tag match of all time.

Edit : How dare you call this the worst TV show ever! It's clearly better than TNA Impact.

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sushisteve

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#4  Edited By sushisteve

Combining the worst of modern pro wrestling and reality programming? More please.

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kmdrkul

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#5  Edited By kmdrkul

Why did you post this :[

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SlightConfuse

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#6  Edited By SlightConfuse

oh man this is really good

michael cole has covered wars you know

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MideonNViscera

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#7  Edited By MideonNViscera

Yay Kaitlyn?

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SlightConfuse

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#8  Edited By SlightConfuse

CM Punk on commentary on episode 3 is pure gold

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DisposableUser

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#9  Edited By DisposableUser

@slightconfuse said:

CM Punk on commentary on episode 3 is pure gold

For international viewers :

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turboman

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#10  Edited By turboman

@DrX25: Don't worry, we'll get to CM Punk's incredible episode tomorrow.

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SlightConfuse

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#11  Edited By SlightConfuse

The 60 second discussion is the best thing in the world, especially with Michael cole retuning. Oh man this show is pure gold how is there not more of this

EDIT: Sphere, Sphere, Sphere

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deactivated-5d7bd9e4bef30

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NXT3 was GOLD! Heel Cole was made for that season. If TNA wants to emulate anything from WWE, it should be the NXT 3 commentary team; biting humor and sarcastic truthiness would make their product so much more watchable.

Other than the CM Punk episode, the highlight is probably the one with the wedding of Goldust and Aksana. It's mindblowing!

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DisposableUser

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#13  Edited By DisposableUser

@TurboMan: Hey, don't blame me, blame slightconfuse for jumping the gun. :p

Also, I've noticed that the longer a season of NXT is, the better the wrestling on it is (Case in point, this season of NXT).

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turboman

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#14  Edited By turboman

@DrX25 said:

@TurboMan: Hey, don't blame me, blame slightconfuse for jumping the gun. :p

Also, I've noticed that the longer a season of NXT is, the better the wrestling on it is (Case in point, this season of NXT).

I haven't watched this season too much, but everytime I do I really hate all of the rookies on that show.

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DisposableUser

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#15  Edited By DisposableUser

@TurboMan: Considering there are only two rookies, the show is, for the most part, filled with fun matches featuring most of the underrated wrestlers and divas on the roster. Besides, any show that gets Matt Striker to come out of retirement has to be doing something right.

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ImperiousRix

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#16  Edited By ImperiousRix

Yeah, NXT has been an absolutely terrible show until very very recently where it's become, essentially, the "Minor Leagues" show. Dudes like Tyler Reks, Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, etc. have matches on there nowadays.

However, before (and this season especially) was turrible. At least we got Kaitlyn and AJ out of it, even if WWE has no idea how to utilize them.

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InternetDotCom

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#17  Edited By InternetDotCom
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This gif must always be used for every discussion of this season.

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turboman

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#18  Edited By turboman

@GorillaMoPena said:

No Caption Provided

This gif must always be used for every discussion of this season.

Fixed:

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CL60

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#19  Edited By CL60

NXT season 3 is just pure gold.

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NathanStack

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#20  Edited By NathanStack

Hey guys, remember when wrestling was cool and not a total fucking bummer every time you turned it on?

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Milkman

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#21  Edited By Milkman

That's all okay because AJ and Kaitlyn are so damn cute.

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deactivated-5d7bd9e4bef30

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Kaitlyn is the closest you'll come to real life Chun-Li thunder thighs

No Caption Provided

And her and AJ are totes adorbs together :3

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DisposableUser

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#23  Edited By DisposableUser

@familyphotoshoot: Yeah, this show and Superstars

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Meowshi

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#24  Edited By Meowshi

I wish they would let AJ Lee on Raw more. Divas like Kelly Kelly and Eve are completely uninteresting to me.

And by uninteresting, I mean unattractive.

Because seriously, who cares about the actual wrestling in a Divas match?

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hockeymask27

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#25  Edited By hockeymask27

wow!!! So its a good thing I stopped after season 1 then.

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deactivated-5d7bd9e4bef30

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@Meowshi said:

I wish they would let AJ Lee on Raw more. Divas like Kelly Kelly and Eve are completely uninteresting to me.

And by uninteresting, I mean unattractive.

Because seriously, who cares about the actual wrestling in a Divas match?

Well, Kelly Kelly and Eve are absolutely untalented in everything anyway.

AJ actually can wrestle. NXT 3 had one genuinely great match between her and Naomi.

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turboman

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#27  Edited By turboman

@TeflonBilly: I love how halfway through that match, Cole and Matthews start realizing that this is actually a good match.

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SlightConfuse

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#28  Edited By SlightConfuse

it is amazing how cole and matthews go from casual talk to yelling like made men. why is there not more of this 4th world breaking commentary

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turboman

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#29  Edited By turboman

Updated to include Episode 3 of NXT Season 3...

aka the CM Punk comedy Power Hour

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DisposableUser

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#30  Edited By DisposableUser

@TeflonBilly said:

Kaitlyn is the closest you'll come to real life Chun-Li thunder thighs

Funny you mention that considering that her gimmick as of late has been that she has the most powerful legs among the divas.

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deactivated-5d7bd9e4bef30

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@DrX25 said:

@TeflonBilly said:

Kaitlyn is the closest you'll come to real life Chun-Li thunder thighs

Funny you mention that considering that her gimmick as of late has been that she has the most powerful legs among the divas.

I haven't caught that? How's that gonna end? A contest between her, Nattie and Beth in who can do the most hindu squats?

Speaking of which, ever read this story from Daivari's blog concerning them back in 2005?

You know the drill...I'm sorry...just don't expect these often I guess! Mania was awesome!
You should know what happened by now. I've become an active wrestler in the WWE roster it seems.
I hope I haven't disappointed anyone yet. Now I'm gonna tell you a quick horror story about myself in Europe.
Chris Benoit and Rob Conway warm up before the matches by doing free standing Hindu squats. They usually
do about 500 a piece. It took them some time to build up to that many. The average person can do about 20
before cramping up. Someone in decent shape can do about 75-100. I wanted to give it a try so I went for it
and I did about 400...the last 75 were total crap with me using every ounce of my existence to get back up
so I'll say 325. The next day I couldn't even walk! I was so sore and tense in my legs that I couldn't bend
my knees past 45 degrees, and as the day went on my range of motion got less and less. Two days later
was RAW and I couldn't even bend my legs at all! Don't ask me how, because I don't know, but adrenaline
is a crazy thing and I ended up working a tag match which you saw on TV. I hobbled back to the locker room
and took a piss and to my amazement it was red. The next day I was in even
more pain and sick as hell. I puked about 5 times. I was managing
Mohammad and got through another day. Came back to the locker room
and my pee was blackish-brown. Like Dr. Pepper. Gave a sample to the
doctor and he ran some tests on it and got back to me the next day
turns out the red then eventually black was the actual muscle
fiber in my legs! They had been broken down so
much they traveled into my blood stream
got to my kidneys and I ended
up pissing it out. That's
why i was so sick.
Now I feel better after a
couple days, just legs are
really sore.
And that was my trip to Europe!

Gross!

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DisposableUser

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#32  Edited By DisposableUser

@TeflonBilly: Well, it's more that she wins her matches using leg based moves (a sitting leg full nelson submission and using her legs to pin the shoulders down on roll-ups) except last week when she won with a Side Effect. Also, I remember hearing Ken Kennedy Anderson say that Benoit used to do 500 squats when he botched.

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CornishRocker

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#34  Edited By CornishRocker

I feel so sorry for the people who bought a ticket for this crap, unless they knew what they were getting into, of course.

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DisposableUser

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#35  Edited By DisposableUser

@CornishRocker: NXT is the little bonus you get when you go to a SmackDown taping.

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CornishRocker

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#36  Edited By CornishRocker

@DrX25: Oh, good. Paying for just NXT would be a terrible decision.

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InternetDotCom

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#37  Edited By InternetDotCom

I completely forgot they actually made a promo package recap of Cole quitting

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ImperiousRix

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#38  Edited By ImperiousRix

@Meowshi said:

I wish they would let AJ Lee on Raw more. Divas like Kelly Kelly and Eve are completely uninteresting to me.

And by uninteresting, I mean unattractive.

Because seriously, who cares about the actual wrestling in a Divas match?

Er, I do. I care very much about women's wrestling being actual wrestling.

Which is why when you get women like AJ and Kaitlyn who are actually attractive ladies who are also great wrestlers, and instead utilize divas based solely on their looks rather than their ability to actually entertain a crowd for the two minutes they get for their match, it's mind-boggling.

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musubi

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#39  Edited By musubi

After watching that AJ match I really wanna see what she can do in the ring with  Beth Pheonix.

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daiphyer

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#40  Edited By daiphyer

Kaitlyn is one of my dream girls.

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turboman

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#41  Edited By turboman

updated today with episodes 4 and 5!

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deactivated-5d7bd9e4bef30

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Featuring Hornswoggle as Great Gazoo The Rapist!

I love how Matt Striker hears everything Josh and Cole say in his earpiece and keeps cracking up

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hockeymask27

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#43  Edited By hockeymask27

CM Punk should just do commentary on every match but his own each week.

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turboman

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#44  Edited By turboman

@TeflonBilly said:

Featuring Hornswoggle as Great Gazoo The Rapist!

I love how Matt Striker hears everything Josh and Cole say in his earpiece and keeps cracking up

It seems that the show would become much more professional if he just takes the earpiece out of his ear, or if the producers just cut Cole and Matthews audio from reaching Striker, but they must think it's funnier to just get Striker to crack up at Cole's jokes.

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hockeymask27

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#45  Edited By hockeymask27

@TurboMan: Damn you because of these great videos I went up and watched episode 6. It's such a good train wreck. I love how striker just laughs at the jokes.

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DisposableUser

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#46  Edited By DisposableUser

@TurboMan said:

@TeflonBilly said:

Featuring Hornswoggle as Great Gazoo The Rapist!

I love how Matt Striker hears everything Josh and Cole say in his earpiece and keeps cracking up

It seems that the show would become much more professional if he just takes the earpiece out of his ear, or if the producers just cut Cole and Matthews audio from reaching Striker, but they must think it's funnier to just get Striker to crack up at Cole's jokes.

Or, they just don't care about NXT (although, when Cole devolves into NXT mode on Raw/SmackDown/PPV, the producers should tell him to shut up).

On a side note, that Craigslist joke better be in the best of.

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Milkman

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#47  Edited By Milkman

Hey guys, have I mentioned how awesome AJ and Kaitlyn are?

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mariokart64fan

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#48  Edited By mariokart64fan

lets toss wwe nxt out , and put in rugrats the best tv show ever!!!!!!!!! also if it wasnt for john cena hhh taker kane kelly kelly or rey i would not be watching wwe any more the other guys just suck ass oh randy is ok but at times he can be a jerkoff

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@mariokart64fan said:

lets toss wwe nxt out , and put in rugrats the best tv show ever!!!!!!!!! also if it wasnt for john cena hhh taker kane kelly kelly or rey i would not be watching wwe any more the other guys just suck ass oh randy is ok but at times he can be a jerkoff

We got ourselves a lil' Jimmy!
We got ourselves a lil' Jimmy!
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IBurningStar

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#50  Edited By IBurningStar
@mariokart64fan said:

lets toss wwe nxt out , and put in rugrats the best tv show ever!!!!!!!!! also if it wasnt for john cena hhh taker kane kelly kelly or rey i would not be watching wwe any more the other guys just suck ass oh randy is ok but at times he can be a jerkoff

This is a fucking catastrophe of a post. Is it OK to flag people for not knowing how sentences work?