Rate the last movie you watched.

The Martian - Exactly than the sum of its parts, and each part was only 85% of what it should have been. I won't get into the fact that the books was better, the book was deeper, but even teh book as 'too highly' regarded in my opinion. The Marian isn't a terrible movie, its a nice move at about the same level as Gravity, but with less fake shmaltz. Matt Damon does a good job being a better astronaut, and he has the right level of humor for this character. But in the end it is only 'a good movie', not a great movie. It is a fair/middling story, and not a great one. I put it above Ex Machina for sure, but really that is because I put XM so low - 3/5

Gods of Egypt: At one point during this movie, I had the thought "I wonder if breaking my thumb would somehow improve this experience." At several points I laughed out loud--not because what was happening on screen was in any way humorous, but because my mind had no other response to the madness occurring on screen. To see this movie is to know despair. Geoffery Rush's parchment-like skin and fucked up hair will haunt my nightmares (WHY IS HE LIKE ULTRAMAN? I DON'T KNOW, THE MOVIE DOESN'T KNOW, NOBODY KNOWS).

This is, without question, the worst goddamn movie I've ever seen.

The revenant. I give it a solid 9.

Inside Out - 5/5

I guess it's meant to be a kid's movie, but I was pretty blown away by how deep this movie is. It's got charming characters, an interesting story and pretty great voice work. Recommend it to anyone who's a fan of the good Pixar movies.

@ford_dent: you've never seen Chelsea Walls. Ethan Hawk stars, directs, writes, edits, produces, sings. I gotta give him credit it's his movie. It's the worst movie ever.

The Boy - 2/5

Bad bad bad horror movie, the plot was questionable, but the direction they took it and what served as the plot twist was so ridiculously stupid that giving it a 2 may be too generous.

Veteran - Film about big company corruption and the policeman that tries to uncover shady shit there. There was a bunch of slapstick shit mixed in that kinda felt completely unnecessary, but not awful. It's like the director watched Rush Hour recently and wanted some of that silly Chris Tucker shit in his film, but not loads.

Wasn't quite the film I expected it to be.

Zootopia. It's thew new Citizen Kane

An American Werewolf in London - I've been slowly revisiting films on the big screen when they get retrospectives or just resurface in a theater. The Metrograph just opened in NYC, so this film was a good excuse to go check it out. I've had this film on my mind recently since the Movie Crypt podcast did a recent commentary track for it, and it still delivers the goods. I was surprised just how straightforward it is, how fast it sets up the American backpackers' friendship and equally quickly throws them to...the wolf. And 95% of the practical effects are still super effective!

@alwaysbebombing: who/what is rosebud in zootopia!?!?

A Most Wanted Man. Apart from being one of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's last films before he died, it's also another film take on a book by John le Carré, who also wrote Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy aka one of the best spy movies I've ever seen. This time out the action is set in a post-9/11 Hamburg, where Hoffman's German intelligence agent attempts to build a working spy network on German soil to infiltrate suspected terror networks. There's a semi-romance angle between one of his sources and another unwitting recruit which felt a bit tacked on, but on the whole it is a patient film where you get to watch how the sausage is made, so to speak, and the question of whether or not it's worth making in the first place. The end is excellent and hey, Robin Wright is in this film as an American CIA representative and plays the role well. The real treasure is Hoffman, as he so frequently was, as his exhausted, depressed, yet still intensely hopeful agent tries to build a network out of being, well, sort of nice to people rather than threatening them with prison all the damn time (although some of the time, honestly). I'd meant to watch it ages ago but only just now got around to it, and I do not regret it.

10/10 Hoffmans

I watched - Get Hard

i love kevin hart but the movie had so many many cheesy bits that were hard to laugh at not to mention everything that happens in each scene is predictable - I give it a 5/10 but i still did laugh a fair bit

Hellraiser: Bloodline: 3/5

I feel like people are way too harsh on this one. Yeah, it's corny as hell, but given both the ambition of the project and the behind-the-scenes troubles that lead to major reshoots and an Alan Smithee credit, they salvaged this movie pretty well. The plot really stretches to make sense at times (and falls short of doing so), but you can tell that they were going for some really interesting stuff, even if it doesn't really pay off.

Besides all of that, we get some top-notch Pinhead lines, fun new Cenobites, an exploding robot, and Pinhead trying to remain stoic and dignified as he's being baffled by a hologram.

Well the last movie I watched was with my Wife and it was "The Longest Ride". I can tell you it is one of the best romantic movie I watched and I give it 5 stars

10 Cloverfield Lane - ★★★★1/2

What a pleasant surprise! A tense little gem of a film directed by the guy who made that kickass Portal fan film a while back. It bears more than a passing resemblance to said film, and subverts expectations of what a Cloverfield "sequel" could be. Highly recommended!

10 Cloverfield Lane 4.5/5.

A really great Twilight Zone thriller and a cool way to do a sequel. Surprising and very well acted. Awesome to see John Goodman knocking another one out of the park.

Finally watched No Country for Old Men.
It is a perfect movie, I'm not even kidding here. I am floored with its sheer artistry.

Toxic Avenger for what must be like the fifth or sixth time. 10/10. Will watch again.

The Martian

4/5

I haven't read the book so I didn't know what to expect from this movie. Still, I was kind of surprised how much humor it had. But I guess humor is an effective way to deal with your highly probable demise stranded alone on a desert planet far away from home.

The cast is superb and the script is great for the most part. Maybe some scenes could be shortened or cut out (especially those long stretches of science politics back at NASA).

I would've liked a slightly darker portrayal of dread. The feeling of pure helplessness didn't quite sink in which made the movie more of a predictable space adventure rather than a tense survival drama. So it probably wont stick with me for a long time. It doesn't matter, though, it was a fun time that I can recommend to anyone.

10 Cloverfield Lane 4/5

The first movie I've seen at the movies in a looooong time. Personally, I think it was better than the first movie (and I really enjoyed the first one). Not that it's a bad thing, but the movie definitely felt like a mash-up of numerous other horror movies (definitely shades of Saw, Cube, Alien, etc...).

London Has Fallen - 4 / 5

I had a good time watching it. It's a nice thought-process-turned-off type of movie.

Hanna

5/5

I'm still not sure I watched Hanna.

Edit: If you want to describe 4am fever to anyone. It's a simple story. But it's difficult.

You are Umasou - 4/5

Kung Fu Killer

As a big martial arts fan, and by extension, a Donnie Yen fan, this did not disappoint. The story is dumb as hell; the acting, very cheesy; the drama, extremely and hilariously overwrought. BUT, the fight scenes are spectacular. The last one in particular, which takes place on a somewhat busy highway and involves fighting with 16 foot bamboo chutes, is absolutely ridiculous in the best way possible. Overall, fantastic choreography done justice by solid editing and directing. Donnie Yen doesn't get significant fight time until the last 30 mins or so, but there is a ton of action throughout. There was also some obvious wire work, which I am not a fan of in martial arts movies, but I was able to look past it as it's not overdone.

Kung Fu Killer gets a 4/5

10 Cloverfield Lane. Watch that shit. It's great. There seems to be a misconception that it and Cloverfield take place in the same timeline. They don't. Trust me: you don't know what's going on just because you saw that first movie.

Midnight Special - A moody, uneasy road trip through southeast USA to a possibly apocalyptic destination. Michael Shannon manages to play a father who is simultaneously conflicted (he doesn't know what he's leading his son to) and ruthless, but his love is absolute and never in question. I really liked it, but that's looking past a lot of minor story things (the film brings up backstory only to wave it off). I think if you're hoping there's a nice, tidy conclusion with all questions answered, you'll be disappointed. PS: AKIRA ENERGY EXPLOSIONS. 4/5

Saw Crimson Peak the other night, I'd give it about the same rating it currently has on Rotten Tomato.

The Revenant or Leonardo Gets His Ass Kicked For 2 Hours.

Loved it. Some amazing camera work. Great acting all around.

5/5

Hateful Eight. Just never got into it, then wanted to turn it off when Tarantino's obnoxious narration kicked in. Didn't like any of the performances either, it was all very hammy and stagey.

2/5

Zootopia.

5/5

Everything from the message, the noir-style mystery, the great characters, great sense of humor, to the animation quality was fantastic. Not trying to over-hype it, but I'm genuinely struggling to think of something I didn't like about the movie.

@dudeglove: Eternal Sunshine & Synecdoche NY both really great and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind I like too but he doesn't.

Contagion - thought it was ok. enjoyed Side Effects more. 3 Gwyneth Paltrow's skull out of 5.

Hercules

3/5

Mostly watched it because I'm Norwegian and was curious since 2 of the characters are played by well known Norwegian actors, rare for a Hollywood movie. Found it surprisingly decent. Nothing amazing, but the fight scenes are competently done, and the story is not the complete garbage I was expecting from Brett Ratner as a director.

High Rise - Never read the book, but I love Wheatley's other films. This one didn't disappoint, it delivered absolutely the sort of disorienting madness that the trailer promised. It's a really mindfuck of a film, but it is also profoundly nihilistic and disturbing. There was a moment around halfway through where I actually found myself feeling quite ill. There were other moments that felt like a profound jolt, really challenging the way I live and think about my life. Still other moments of jet black humour, like glimpsing a flash of something in a dark lake, in a way that disturbs you into staring at it in the hopes of another glimpse.

If I could articulate a flaw with the film, it's that my feelings on it revolve around these moments and not the experience as a whole. Certainly it's pacing felt odd in parts, with crucial expanses of time accelerated through in montage - admittedly richly detailed, well realised and informative montage - and then followed by long stretches of comparative dullness. It's obvious that there are sensations that this in service of, but they didn't connect with me as well as they should, I suspect. More fundamental is that, although I am no stranger to poeticism in film, and indeed am a big fan of it, I find that usually films that require you to luxuriate in them to this extent build to something transcendental. This is more like seeing an onion have it's layers removed one by one until there is nothing left. I suspect that a prominent shot of the final doll of a matryoshka is gesturing towards this in some way.

It's a great, bold film, I think. It's better than even some of its champions give it credit for, I think; people seem to be focusing on the idea that it's an allegory for class struggle, but that is only half the story. In fact, on that basis it would seem quite trite in it's imagery, or it's final moments (a clip of a Maggie Thatcher speech). I think it's gesturing at something far more fundamental about class structures, almost reverse engineering them and what it is about humans that draws us to them. The class structure is the setup for the thematic meat of the film, not the meat itself.

But brilliant though it is, it's not a wholly pleasant experience.

I'll forgo a score because I think I need to chew on it a lot more before I know how a feel about it.

10 Cloverfield lane 4.5/5 really liked it.

This has to at least get John Goodman an oscar nomination.

Pee-wee's Big Holiday is exactly what I wanted from a Pee-wee movie in 2016. 4/5.

I rewatched A Clockwork Orange most recently. It is a good study of modern medicine and side effects and mental illness.

Mulholland Drive - still a beautiful nightmare.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 - 4/5

Gah, I love this movie. It's utterly insane, especially compared to the original classic. Smart move to completely change the tone, as it lets you enjoy it on its own merits. Chop Top absolutely steals the show from Leatherface, and has some of the best lines in the entire series. Gory, hilarious fun.

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 - 2/5

I had only seen this one once before, and now I remember why. Terrible. Some great one-liners, at least. And there's this:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake): 4/5

Still the best horror remake out of Platinum Dunes. Not a patch on the original, but stylish and fun. R. Lee Ermey absolutely killing it here.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning: 4/5

You know what? This wasn't that bad. The "prequel" angle was a bust (I wanted to see Leatherface's upbringing), the plot sucks, but dammit, I liked it.

Texas Chainsaw 3D: 3/5

Again, a pleasant surprise. They tried something different, and it worked for me. Mindless fun.

...

These reviews are shorter than usual, as there's really not much to cover. We all know the drill: Hillbilly cannibals, chainsaws, meathooks, hammers. I skipped TCM4 and 1, just because I was getting burned out. (I watched these in a random order) Might do them later. This was all inspired by MKXL's inclusion of Leatherface, of course. Got me in the mood.

The most recent film I watched was:

Ronin (1998)

This film is neat. Not only does it have a great "big name actor" cast line-up (of it's era I suppose now), but the story is constantly changing, with twists and turns and it just keeps you along for the ride as they chase after a mcguffin all over Paris and Nice. Not to mention being of a film from this time and era a lot of practical effects were used instead of the ham-fisted CGI we see in most films today, allowing for a nice grounded grit in the action, and driving sequences. Also there is a beautiful car chase sequence in this movie that just gets it right.

I find Ronin to be a solid 4.5/5, I would probably give it more if not for the initial pacing and how stiff most of the actors feel in the beginning of the film. Its most certainly worth checking out if you're looking for a cool spy / heist thriller / adventure movie.

I just saw Batman v Superman (don't ask me why it premièred early in Austria, but it did) and I really don't understand the first reviews that are coming in on Rotten Tomatoes and similar sites.

I mean, it's not a masterpiece, but it's still a really good movie, better than I expected it to be even. Affleck is a surprisingly decent Batman and Eisenberg makes for a great and very maniac Luthor. Cavill and Gadot are also good.

The story is weird in parts (and has some very unneeded dream sequences) and a bit incoherent at times, but overall it's okay. The action is good, but since they already announced a 30 minutes longer R-rated version for home video releases, I can't help but wonder if they didn't cut out a few bits to many in some of the fight scenes.

Also to speak on the reason people are criticizing it so much right now: Yes, it's a rough movie, an angry movie (the people and Batman are fucking pissed all the time, and Batman even straight up murders some dudes), a movie that's not "fun" 90% of the time, but honestly I don't see the problem with that. Just because it's a superhero movie shouldn't mean it can't go another way with it's approach. It shouldn't need to make fun of itself, have characters constantly riffing each other or feature similar genre trappings.

It really is mostly just a set-up for the Justice League movie(s) though, so one can hold that against it.

The guest/cameo appearances from Cyborg, Flash and Aquaman (especially him, just wait 'till you see that) are utterly ridiculous and unneeded, by the way.

4/5

The Heart of the Sea.

Read the book.

Not terrible though.

Also watched thru all the Superman movies on a half-drunken binge last weekend.

Entertaining. Enjoyed Richard Pryor.

Deadpool: 5/5

Well shave my face and call me Diane Sawyer. They went and did done did it. They made a Deadpool movie, and they didn't fuck it up. They even leaned toward early Deadpool and not "hyuk hyuk chimichangas" Deadpool. And when they did go all-out zany, they made it work. Not every joke lands, but you have so much fun watching it that a few dud gags really don't matter at all. I get why so many people are going out to see this multiple times: Like Naked Gun or Airplane, you can't even hope to catch everything your first time through. I seriously can't praise this movie enough. It gives me that same joy that Scott Pilgrim did.

If I had to complain about anything at all, and I'm reaching to find something here, it's that the plot is extremely boilerplate fare once you strip away the Deadpool flavor. But hey, it's still a Marvel movie, and I can't blame them for sticking to their formula when it's still so absurdly successful. I'm just happy that they had the balls to put their name on a movie like this again after breaking so big with family-friendly fare.

Her.

4.703/5.001

Really beautiful shots of Shanghai. Sam's performance wasn't always believable but was well executed.

The sets, clothes, and tone were an interesting mix of Apple-Future mixed with 70's high-waisted stuffery; the fake video games they had were pretty spot on for 2013...

Phoenix's performance was amazing and really captured stagnant, tortured loneliness in the midst of a sea of humanity. His character's relationships with his human friends were especially poignant in their awkwardness mixed with deep tenderness.

Sam was kind of just Jane from the continuation of the Ender's Game series: Speaker for the Dead, etc. The story was very human focused, and as such failed to dive deeper into questions surrounding A.I. and consciousness, but you can only do so much in an hour or two. The third party/person to be an intermediary between Sam and Theodore's relationship was interesting, and I feel like something like that would be far more acceptable in a far-flung future.

I think Sam went to The TechnoCore.

I should read Hyperion again.

@sessh: It's nice to hear a good review of it, seems like the internet is all to ready to jump down it's throat and I don't get why, it doesn't look too bad. I don't mind a world where DC can have their darker movies and Marvel can have the lighter side of things.

Anyways, I just saw a movie on Netflix called The Circle it's basically about 50 people who wake up inside of a mysterious room together, they are all standing on a red bad, if you try to leave the pad you die, and every 2 minutes or so a clock counts down and you have to vote for someone else to die, if you don't, someone is picked at random. I wont get too much more into it as it's best viewed fresh, but if you are a fan of The Cube or movies like The Cube it's worth a watch. It's not the greatest movie ever, most of the actors feel like they were plucked from a local theater or acting group or something, and everybodys willingness to just commit to voting people off is really rushed.
And at times it feels like a high school classroom level of social structure discussions. But that being said, it's still fascinating, and it was fun guessing who the last person alive was going to be. For something I saw for free, and that was only the directors second project (first movie) it was well worth it.

Edit: Oh, uh, a score or something, uhhh 35/50. SEE CAUSE THERE WERE 50 PEOPLE, ah go screw myself.

Wild Card

1/5

I'm normally a fan of dumb action movies but this is just a bad movie. I definitely understand why it bombed so hard (made 6mil on a 30mil budget). It's only 1h30 but it somehow makes that feel too long. There are 3 fight scenes (more like 2.5, one is pretty damn short) that are all pretty good but the story around those 3 scenes is just rough. It's odd cause the acting isn't even 'that bad' but somehow all of the dialogue and "plot building" is just brutal. It just feels lifeless and not worth your time.

Seriously, don't even bother with this one. Even if you are a big "Dumb Jason Statham action movie fan"

Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man

5/5

A perfect documentary.

Star Wars The Force Awakens. To be honest I expected better. Main characters don't have chemistry at all. To many jokes feels forced and overall tone feels like kids show. The acting felt wooden or maybe the dialogue was very weak. Nothing seemed natural, everyone is on the run, never felt like it was an adventure. It leans too much on the nostalgia factor for my taste. Explosions were really sweet, the pilot dude was the most likable character and the main bad guy looked really cool before he showed his face. Oh and lightsabers and fights were pretty damn good. 7/10. JJ Abrams Star Trek films are so much better.

@sessh: If l liked Man of Steel more than most Marvel films, will I like BvS? Actually I like all of Snyder's films with the exception of Sucker Punch.

@edgaras1103: Probably, yes. It's a bit of a mixture to me between Man of Steel and Nolan's Batman. Snyder's style also definitely rings true.

The Big Short

4/5