What's the Worst Thing You've Ever Done?

I'll start:

When I was a kid, I stupidly played with matches while sitting in the branches of a tall pine tree. The tree just so happened to be in the courtyard of 2 apartment complexes across the street from mine. So when it did inevitably catch fire, the blazing tree was threatening the homes of of some 8-10 families (I forget how many apartments were in each building).

When I realized that there was no way to stop the spread of the flames, I climbed down the tree as quick as I could. But instead of simply running away, I quick-strolled around the back of one of the buildings and came out on the street. Literally whistling past the graveyard, I walked past the buildings (on my side of the street) in time to see the flames really get going. I quickly ducked into my apartment and off the street.

When the fire engines showed up and put out the fire with no collateral damage to the apartments, I came outside and acted like I was merely a witness like everyone else.

No one ever asked me any questions about this incident, although later a girl I knew from the neighborhood said she saw me climb down out of the tree...

Moral: If yer gonna play with fire, don't do it in the branches of a fucking tree, you idiot!

 "OK! I'll talk!

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam.

In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.

In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...

When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...

 But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. "
           -Chunk from The Goonies

edited for clarity

When I was around 12 a friend and I stole a giant bottle of 40% Rum from my parents room and spent the whole day drinking it. Best drunk of my life, and nothing came close to how fun that day was. My parents were gone all day, so I never got caught. When they came home late that night I was in bed already, so they never smelt the booze. Since I'm apparently immune to hang overs, no matter how drunk I have gotten I have never had a hang over my entire life, there was nothing to hide the next day. I just had a shower and brushed my teeth when I got up before anyone saw me.

I colored OUTSIDE the lines.

(in before "replying to this thread")

Some friends and I decided that it would be a pretty good idea last night to light some illegal fireworks in a glass cup inside. Not or ever a good idea when you are drunk. We also took this dudes muscle shirt and lit it on fire in a pizza box outside last night, good fun but really stupid ideas lol.

I killed someone.

I beat up some kid for calling me fat in elementary school, and then I sat on him until the security guards came. They sent me to anger management, but not even an hour into the first meeting I was let go because I obviously didn't have any anger issues... fools! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm not fat anymore so I wonder if I could get away with that again...

- I stole a pack of gum from a convenience store when I was 7. 

" @Hot_Sawce: The last one.. dude.. "

Or did I...

Can't thing of anything to bad. cheated on a math test once. 

Stung my brother with a sea anemone, never heard a scream like it. 

I broke a kids leg, Sumo wrestling (in those huge suits) at a after-prom party.

Not saying anything till my lawyer is here.

Meh, I had vengeance against someone, that's all.

I put it on the pizza.

I've always been a complete boyscout....

...'cept for that one time I stole a candy when I was, like, 5 years old. I felt really guilty about it even if I (somehow) didn't get caught.

I once stole $10 from my day-care lady because my sister was taking me to Chuck E. Cheese's the next day. I wanted to act like a big-shot and buy my own tokens, damnit!

Anyway, long story short: I got caught, denied everything, even though I was caught red-handed. Moral of the story is never steal; I felt terrible about what I had done, and vowed to never steal again. I never stole again... Until a few days ago...

Unknowingly, I stole a newspaper from a local Walgreens. I grabbed it while my girlfriend was checking out and continued to read while walking out. The cashier watched me walk out, and even looked "a little confused as to what I was doing," according to my girlfriend. I didn't realize the newspaper wasn't free until 20 minutes later in the car. The whole ordeal was pretty funny.

" My friends and I set off stink bombs during my sisters graduation, causing it to be delayed until the stench dissipated. "

" I've always been a complete boyscout.......'cept for that one time I stole a candy when I was, like, 5 years old. I felt really guilty about it even if I (somehow) didn't get caught. "

Well I just had to delete a couple of responses on this thread that were extremely explicit, and realized the behavior this type of topic would promote is beyond the realm of acceptable. Any thread or blog that promotes the open discussion of illegal activities is strictly prohibitited on the forums. Please keep this in mind for future topics.