A certain user ( Ververdan0226) thought it would be worth everyone's time to archive the Spotlight so is that everyone can look back at the accomplishments of the community. So I see no reason not to oblige him. One thing of note is that I'm only archiving items on the Spotlight that would change or eventually get removed. I see no reason to archive the links to the IRC every week, and I don't expect any objections over this. So without further ado let's go back in time!
 
 

User Content

Featured User Review
 

• Check out ElectricBoogaloo review of Brutal Legend

 
 Author's note : If you've written a review (or read a review) that you think is deserving of front page honors, feel free to PM Kush with a link to the review and if it truly is a kick ass review it may very likely end up becoming the next featured review! Good luck and keep up all the good work. :)
 

Lovable Lists

1. The Manliest Men Alive (By: Neon941)
2. Missing Body Parts (By: SuperJoe)
   
3. Top Ten Most Peculiar Heroes in Video Games (By: jonnyboy)
   

 

Fantastic Forum Posts

• These are threads of humor to serious discussions on video game and those who play them.

1. First Giant Bomb Game Concept RIGHT HERE! (By: Belonpopo)
   
2. Giantbomb SFIV Match Setup Thread (By: Scooper)
   
3. What's Your Favorite Painting? (By: Metal_Gear_Sunny)
   
4. Join the Giantbomb Modern Warfare Community (By: Redsand26)
   

Golden Guides

• The following guides are truly golden and are wonderful tools of assistance for all GiantBomb users.

1. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Treasure Guide (By: Mordukai)
   
2. Achievement Rarity Guide (By: JackiJinx)
   

Wonderful Wikis

• These wikis are wonderful and should be used by all users as a guidance on how to make well written wikis!

1. Star Raiders
   
2. Radical Dreamers: Nusumenai Houseki
   
3. Jade Empire
   
4. Bioforge
   

User Created Podcasts

Column Head 1	Column Head 2	Column Head 3
Distributed Failure	DF #79: Smaking Down Borderland Midgets	Latest Episode: October 22, 2009
Counter Culture Weekly	Counter Culture Weekly Episode Four: Ready Set Go	Latest Episode: October 19, 2009
No New Games	NNG Podcast Episode 3	Latest Episode: October 16, 2009

Author's Note:  To get content on the Spotlight just post on this forum or send me a PM, and then I'll review it. All content (threads, guides, wikis and podcasts) will be showcased for a max of two weeks and then removed

None of the features that Microsoft is integrating on their UI feel risky or revolutionary but I'm happy that they are there. I use Twitter and Facebook, but I can only image using these features every once and a while. Last.FM sounds extremely inciting because I use Last.FM (though I'm not a paying subscriber) and am looking forward to using it on my Xbox 360. As for the Zune Marketplace I happen to be an owner of a Zune so this was a more than welcomed addition to the Xbox. Sure I already have synched my Zune to my Xbox 360, but I want the option to buy virtual media whenever I please.

Well it has been over six months since I first started managing the Spotlight and I can't believe that it's really been this long. So thanks everyone for making this possible. To all the mods who intervened when it was necessary, and to the users who have supported the thread with a myriad amount of content and suggestions--thank you. Really all of you guys and girls have made this a joy and have encouraged me to keep on trucking so thank you.
 

Okay so I'm going to try my hand on blogging regularly updates like these from now on.  Well see if I make this a habit or not.
This update is missing noteworthy events worth talking about because the author is missing part of his brain. For proof just ask MB.

• Season premiere of House was great and some of the best TV I've watched in a long time. For me what made it so good was that it hit close to home about conquering you demons and anxieties, but I digress.
• Community Spotlight updates aren't coming in as quickly as I would like. School really is killing the Spotlight...
• Just got GTA IV, I know I'm late to the party but for some reason I've never really been a big fan of the series. I'll give it a try but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be as impressed as a lot of people who got it when it first came out.
• College is getting harder but I expected this so I'm cool.
  
• This is some of the best advertising I've seen on Facebook ever.

 
So that's it for now, next week I guess I'll see if I want to continue this, but seeing how blogging like this is so harmless I probably will.

Introduction

 
If you have been following my recent activity lately you may have notice that I have decided to try my hand in writing video game reviews. Luckily my first review was selected to be showcased as a featured user review, but even with this accomplishment I still have a ways to go before I think my reviewing abilities reach the level I want them to be at. On Giant Bomb it’s a little disheartening to write user reviews, as most users don’t even bother with them in the first place. If they do then they usually follow a select group of users religiously without consideration of the works of newer users. So to try and figure out what I should do to get my reviews noticed I decided to examine some truly exemplary reviews (which I will show you latter) on how to perfect this usual craft that we call video game criticism. As a result of this examination I have found a few wonderful ways to make my and your reviews noteworthy! So grab your pen/pencil and a sheet of paper and document my advice on how to write the best reviews ever!

Step 1: Establish Yourself as a Venerable Source of Video Game Information

 
Why should users on a video game website trust your opinion? If you can’t answer this question then you better just give up and peddle drugs for the rest of your life! You need to MAKE people realize how you are the go to person when it comes to video game info! For an example of this let’s check out an excerpt from Giant Bomb User CoinMatze's review of Crysis:

“I'm not qualified to review this game. I couldn't play through this whole mess. But I'm an arrogant bitch who has to give his two cents to everything, so here they are…”

Notice how the reviewer quickly establishes himself as an “arrogant bitch,” to convince the reader that he is a strong willed person who has opinions worth listening to! Also why would you ever not trust someone how recognizes themselves as an “arrogant bitch?” The second thing worth noting is the fact that the reviewer starts his review by saying “I’m not qualified to review this game.” This is a wonderful example of reverse psychology which successfully convinces readers that the reviewer is a multi-faceted intellectual whose opinion is written with the absolute best diction. Also that first sentence results in the reader’s head either exploding or suffering a massive aneurism due to irony…in the end it’s nothing short of brilliance!

Step 2: Have One Good Point in Your Review

 
It is far better to have one good point that you can support with a myriad of details than multiple points that you can’t fully devote your attention to. It’s kind of like how if you were a hobo you wouldn’t search for food, take tap dancing lessons, and waste your money on street narcotics; you would be better off just devoting all of your efforts on wasting your money on street narcotics, fuck all of that other shit! Now let’s look at a review for the game Sexy Poker by Captainbazos 

“This game is so hot it makes me sweat. It feels like I took a shower in chilli pepper sauce. So hot. So incredibly hot. I cannot contain myself. My name.... is Captain Bazos. 
 
I love this game whole heartadly. 
 
This game is so hot it makes me sweat. It feels like I took a shower in chilli pepper sauce. So hot. So incredibly hot. I cannot contain myself. My name.... is Captain Bazos. 
 
I love this game whole heartadly”

Notice how the reviewer has one point about the game he is talking about (the game’s sexiness) and spends all of his time convincing readers that Sexy Poker “is so hot it makes me sweat.” To highlight this point the reviewer repeats his body paragraph (and the rest of the review) TWICE to make sure the reader got it the first time, because we all know that were only using like .01% of our brain when we are reading stuff. Try to also take notice on how the reviewer only spends his time describing how Sexy Poker made him hot and disregarded the quality of the graphics, sound, and gameplay. You should take notice of this because it’s exactly what I mean when I say that you should only have one good point!   Pick one aspect of the game you’re reviewing and disregard all of the other shit and you’ll find yourself responsible for publishing some truly informative pieces of work.

Step 3: Know Your Audience

 
It is extremely important to know your audience. To exemplify this why don’t we just delve straight into the example review I have for you by Govermentcheese for Crysis Warhead:

“The game is great in all categories Simple rating just Buy It....A+ job on the making of this one.. Some people out here are way to critical. If your are a gamer dont pass this one up. How do they make these gameas so real . Iam running this game on vista 64 bit direct x 10...Again just buy it  you wont go wrong..How do they come up with these ideas. The games are getting better and better. I come from the ere of quarters. im 49yrs old never would have guesd that the gaming industry would be  as big as they are now. Wow.Well im a man of few word just buy the game you wont go wrong.Again buy the game it really rocks far out great great great game. Every aspect of it. The greatest of all time how can anyone argue this point..   Crysis #1..Please listen to me i know of what i speak i think on a higher level and this game excites me so i know that it will really and i mean really excite you people. Take it from some one who knows a great deal and im getting ready to have my 25 mins of fame im dedicating 5 mins to this game because it is the greatest of all time..Just Buy It.. You wont go wrong..... the end take care 73ssssssssss”

Notice how the reviewer decided to disregard all of the basic rules of punctuation and grammar, brilliant! Seeing how the review was directed towards shooter fans this is entirely acceptable.  Why? Because we all know that video gamers are missing a part of their brain (I'm visual proof of this), and shooting game fans are missing like 90% of their brain. So if you’re going to write a review for shooting games you need to write as if 90% of your brain is missing. In fact my fear is that no one is going to understand what I’m writing on this blog!  So in the end you should never write a review when your brain is functioning at 100%, you should always aim for anything lower than 5% if you are going to write reviews in general.

In Conclusion

 
Follow all of these steps and you’ll quickly establish yourself as the go to source of genuine video game criticism on Giant Bomb and the rest of the internet for that matter! If you follow my advice carefull then one day you might find yourself writing a true gem, kind of like this review for Backyard Wrestling 2: There Goes the Neighborhood:

“yo dis game is hardcre sykopathic rekidz shit nd isnt 4 errebody butt if u got an open mind to tha juggalo communitee u mite liek it more. also vilent j is in it witch maeks it even better.  
 
tha maps r mad fun and deres hot bitches leik terra ptrk and otha cool shit dat you can do liek wrestlin. its 1 of da best games out dere 4 xbox nd if you ghetto liek me you cnt a4rd a 460 so its a gud altunativ.  
 
ne ways by dis game cuz its real mad gud. i hope dis review gets feechid bcuz i spent 3 hours on it.”

Ahhh true genius!

Author’s Note: If you are offended from the fact that I’m mocking one of your reviews then don’t write reviews—it's as simple as that. It’s the internet and if you’re really not prepared for someone to tear anything you write to shreds then get the fuck out, because anything you post here is open to criticism. Also and I’m being nice, because some of these reviews almost caused my word processor to meltdown when I hit spell check.