A lot of advice on the internet centers around how to achieve your goals, it's all about how to get from point A to point B, and at point B you'll be happy forever after. But what about if while on your way to point B you end up in point C and there's nothing, short of going back in time, to get back to point B? At the face of such a drastic change many of us freeze and panic. Everything we worked for went sideways and now we're stuck in the middle of a lake with no paddle, nor boat, 'cause we didn't fucking plan to be in a lake. But we are in this lake and the best thing to do is assess what you do have. Sure, take a bit of time to wallow in despair, but don't stay too long in this state of mind because night will come soon and you'll get hypothermia.
Now that you got your sobbing done, take a look at your assets. What have you got so far, what skills do you posses? Oh, what's that? You have a wet granola bar, sweet! You're still reasonably warm, and you can swim. Eat that granola bar and start swimming. You're almost to the shore, but a chill stops you. You're cold, wet, and now you yearn for that granola bar. You remember how happy you were when you two were together, then sadness fills your core again because you know the granola bar is already making its transition to poop never to be eaten again. We start to see a pattern form. Going from small victory to heartbreak over and over until you reach that shore. How we process change affects how self aware we are of our situation because often wallowing in nostalgia takes us away from the present and into the past. Remembering your memaw is sweet, but thinking "man, things used to be so good" is not productive.
A positive way to deal with such changes is to accept that life will be full of them, I may be comfortable now, but comfort may not necessarily be a good thing. Comfort makes us unready for the randomness of life; there are just so many factors we simply can't control. We should reset our scales and try to be content when we find ourselves in uncomfortable and new situations, and even go as far as looking for them. This shifts us from a mindset that the point B we so cherished is nothing but a small blip in the distance we'll travel. It makes less sense to focus then on just a point. We'll start to open our eyes and hearts to appreciating the ups and downs of the journey, and by changing our attitude towards change we'll be less stressed out when it comes and thus make be able to move forward more easily.
P.S. Have you guys heard about kids in the sandbox?
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