Everyones_A_Critic
Everyones_A_Critic's last update: HOLY FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THE WATCHMEN ULTIMATE CUT. MUST BUY!
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Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
Nov. 18, 2009
  • FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    2 days, 16 hours ago
  • My wallet hates me right now.   Where to begin. In the past month or so I've been buying DVD's on almost a weekly basis. It started with the 15th Anniversary edition of Reservoir Dogs for $10, then Pulp Fiction for $15, then Requiem for a Dream. Then, last weekend, I was faced with yet another irresistible deal: buy one get one free on a table full of TV seasons. I settled ...
    2 days, 16 hours ago
  • Definitely people who don't like things simply because they're popular.
    2 days, 17 hours ago
  • Everyones_A_Critic replied to the topic Survey
    1. Do you do any drugs? If multiple drugs, state one. I smoke pot at least once a week. 2. Do you think that the popular recreational drugs are harmful? (WIthout drug dealers, deals or any of that, just the drugs themselves)  I believe that Marijuana is harmless, but as with anything you can smoke you're going to fuck up your lungs a bit doing it, albeit not as badly as cigs. 3. Have you ever/Do you know ...
    2 days, 18 hours ago
  • I find Kung Fu movies to be very boring, so that'd be a no.
    2 days, 18 hours ago
Nov. 17, 2009
  • HOLY FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THE WATCHMEN ULTIMATE CUT. MUST BUY!
    3 days, 16 hours ago
  • Communism, just because I hate Fascism.
    3 days, 16 hours ago
  • I'm quite satisfied with my local radio station thank you very much.
    3 days, 17 hours ago
  • Everyones_A_Critic replied to the topic NAT Settings Help
    I've been dealing with a strict NAT setting on my 360 for about two years now, trying countless solutions that involved contacting my ISP to open ports, calling microsoft (and following their directions to a tee), watching every damn youtube video under the sun, and scouring google for any and all threads that might help me in my pursuit to be able to play my fucking xbox online.  Any and all ...
    3 days, 21 hours ago
  • Everyones_A_Critic just started a topic, NAT Settings Help
    3 days, 21 hours ago
  • It's not so much the word as it is the connotation. Some people link "gamer" with "he who has no social experience/skills and spends his time huddled around a TV chugging energy drinks all day." I could see the term coming back in a more positive fashion, seeing as how all the "jocks" at my high school have been bitten with the CoD bug.
    4 days ago
  • I've been loving the multiplayer side of MW2, and I agree on the story being pretty ambiguous, especially with....   SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.  ....The fact that Shepherd is killed and all is right with him, but what the fuck happened to Makarov?! Didn't I spend half the game looking for the son of a bitch? There's always MW 3 I suppose...
    4 days ago
Nov. 16, 2009
Nov. 15, 2009
  • Some of you here are saying music reviews are useless. Everyone has their own tastes, yes, but aren't the reviews of anything supposed to be an aid in determining whether or not something is worth checking out or not? With today's technology, yes, it is easier to preview songs to get a taste, but I wouldn't say that they render music reviews obsolete. There was a very good press conference ...
    5 days, 18 hours ago
Added by Everyones_A_Critic on Nov. 18, 2009

My wallet hates me right now. 
  
Where to begin. In the past month or so I've been buying DVD's on almost a weekly basis. It started with the 15th Anniversary edition of Reservoir Dogs for $10, then Pulp Fiction for $15, then Requiem for a Dream. Then, last weekend, I was faced with yet another irresistible deal: buy one get one free on a table full of TV seasons. I settled on seasons one and two of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and as my freebie? Well, you may remember Beavis and Butthead: The Mike Judge Collection from a few years ago. Well, the collection had three volumes, each of which were sold separately initially, but were boxed up with the movie "Beavis and Butt-Head Do America" for the hefty sum of $120 that holiday. To make a long story short, the set was marked down to $40, the same price as the Sunny season. I snatched it, having been a fan of the show for years now. In my twisted little mind, that show puts nearly every other animated comedy to shame. 
 
Oh, and that game Modern Warfare 2 came out last week. I went all out. Midnight launch? Yup. I gotta say, the guys at the midnight launch were......enthusiastic? There was nearly a brawl over PS3 vs 360, and the grueling two hour wait left me to believe that most of the bickering fanboys had forgotten that they no longer had keyboards in front of them. Yeah, there were a bunch of tools there.  But it all worked out in the end, I got my prestige edition quickly after midnight, and played all night, and all of the following day. 
 
You all know about the game. It's awesome, nothing more needs to be said. I will say this though: the night vision goggles are pretty sweet. They work well enough, and are a lot of fun to fuck around with with your friends. 
 
So after I bought the prestige edition, I made myself a bit of a promise: this will be my last big purchase before the holidays (I have gifts to buy and such). Well, that promise lasted all of a week when it was announced that Slayer, Megadeth, and Testament were coming to town on February 14th, and tickets were only $20 (after fees of course). There will indeed be thrashing all around that night. I can't wait. 
 
Even after all of these purchases, there lies two more in my future: L4D2 and Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut. I was going to hold off until Christmas for L4D2, but the $35 price tag at Best Buy for black friday was just too good to pass up. I'm having oral surgery that morning (more on that in a sec) so I'm leaving my copy in the hands of my friends, hopefully they're able to snag one for me. As for Watchmen, the five disc collector's edition is just to appealing to pass up. Having seen the director's cut already, my love for that film has only increased. I can't wait to see how the Black Freighter stuff is woven in. Four hours of pure heaven in my book. 
 
Finally, there's that bit about the oral surgery. Nothing drastic, of course, just getting the old wisdown teeth out before they go on to be a major pain in the ass down the road. I'm happy to have the little fuckers out, as they hurt like a bitch when they were coming in. Needless to say I'll be doing a lot of gaming in between icing my face. MW2 and L4D2 will recieve heavy rotation.  
 
Well, that's about it for me. Nothing else to report, hope you all are having a great time with all of the great games coming out this holiday season.  
 
Until next time, 
 
-Everyones_A_Critic



Added by Everyones_A_Critic on Nov. 13, 2009

Richard Kelly’s latest film after the lackluster Southland Tales brings him back into the realm of mind-fucks and bizarre coincidence last seen in the 2001 cult classic Donnie Darko. The Box, starring Cameron Diaz and James Mardsen, is a mostly successful tale that Darko fans are sure to enjoy, provided they don’t think too hard about it.

The film is centered around a couple (Diaz and Mardsen) in 1970’s Virginia who have almost lost it all financially. Just hours after receiving a mysterious box on their doorstep in the early morning, Diaz’s character Norma Lewis loses her faculty tuition discount at the preppy school she teaches at. Her husband Arthur is denied entry into NASA as an astronaut, and the two are thrown into a world of financial uncertainty. That is, until Arlington Steward, played wonderfully by Frank Langella, pays them a visit.

Steward makes them an offer you’ve undoubtedly heard one hundred times now: if they push the button mechanism he gives them, someone whom they don’t know dies, and they win a cool million for their troubles. If they don’t nothing happens and Steward simply leaves the couple to live paycheck to paycheck. Funny how fate works, eh?

Now, that part of the plot is all that the trailers are willing to tell you, and it’s all I will tell you as well. Let me just say this: the film is far more than a simple decision. Much like Darko before it, The Box raises a lot of questions, many that get answered but still some that are left for you to answer yourself. Some may consider it a cop out; I considered it an invitation for discussion when the film ended.

This is where the reception will ultimately be divided. There is a moment or two in the film where we’re left shaking our heads or wondering why the characters act the way they do. While I’m usually a big fan of analyzing films, this is just one of those movies where you have to “go with it”. If it doesn’t make sense, wait. Eventually, it will. Many will criticize the film for inconsistencies with the plot, and rightfully so. However, if you accept these inconsistencies as simply part of the film, you’re bound to enjoy it for the two hours it has you sucked in.  

The performances are, for the most part, quite good. Mardsen’s portrayal of Arthur was particularly well done, and he creates a genuinely likeable character. Diaz does a fine job with her role, though her southern accent tended to feel forced and sometimes hokey at different parts of the film. She manages to keep it up throughout, but it isn’t without its pitfalls. Langella’s Steward is both a charming and at times menacing character, and it’s nice to see him getting some work after Frost/Nixon.

During the film’s two hour running time I never lost the feeling that Kelly truly cares for this genre, and that this film was a labor of love. Much like how JJ Abram’s Star Trek paid homage to one of television’s most timeless series, Kelly’s adaptation of the Twilight Zone episode “Button Button” (adapted from a short story before it) feels like an ode to Rod Serling’s classic series. Kelly is reverent to himself and to his idols, and while The Box may boast a PG-13 rating and some cheesy trailers, there’s a lot more to it than meets the eye.

Overall score: 4/5

TL;DR: More accessible to newcomers than Darko before it, The Box is an interesting thriller, provided you go along with the sometimes absurd plot and bizarre sequences. With this in mind, it is a film that can be appreciated by Darko fanatics and newcomers alike.    



Added by Everyones_A_Critic on Oct. 30, 2009

      Over the past ten years the Boondock Saints has garnered a huge cult following, especially around my home in the Boston area. For ten years, people have clamored for a sequel. In a way writing this review is useless, as those who have been waiting all this time for a sequel have already seen it, and those that hated the original will instantly pass on it. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to share my thoughts on it with my fellow users.  
 
    So what has Troy Duffy done in these past ten years? The Hell if I know, but I'll tell you one thing he certainly hasn't done: grown up. Let's start with the dialogue. The movie's script is among one of the worst I've ever seen, and just the start of the long list of problems this film has going for it. For starters, the movie tries to go for humor, so much so that it tries much too hard in the process. The "humor" is usually built around swearing and gay bashing. This leads me to believe Troy Duffy is a closeted homosexual. Every single time something remotely related to male genitals is mentioned, we get a requisite explanation about how "I don't mean it in a gay way" or "I ain't gay, just saying". In fact, there's one scene where a character picks out a set of guns brandished by the Mexican flag. His first concern? "These don't make me look gay, do they?". The constant stream of gay "jokes" gets boring after the first time, but Duffy certainly can't take the hint.
 
    In addition to the gay hate, there's a good amount of racism thrown in the mix as well, and they can't even make that funny either. I find racist jokes to be pretty funny most of the time, which is why I was surprised that Duffy can't even manage to nail down this "artform". Almost all of his pathetic attempts at humor fall flat. As an Irish American, I found myself ashamed, because not only does this movie make Mexicans and Italians look bad, it makes Irish people look the worst. Apparently we're all drunken Bible thumpers who believe killing in the name of God is alright as long as you bash every group of people different from you along the way. It's not that I'm a snob, as racial humor can be funny when done right, but when it's done this lazily it makes you wonder if a twelve year old wrote it. 
 
    Even if the Saint's cause is hypocritical, that's not important in a film like this. It is an action movie after all, shoot first, analyze later. But when your action scenes look like something out of a straight to DVD knock off of the original, you tend to feel slightly overwhelmed by the final product. Of the three or four gun fights in the movie, none of them are particularly rousing or clever. They either recycle material from the first movie or just recycle material from older films to get by, and it shows. What's more, the music is rather unfitting in most of these sequences. It's your stereotypical action music, but feels very out of place even in its own genre. It's rather depressing, because instead of failing in just one genre, Duffy has failed in two: comedy and action.  
 
    Yet another problem with the film is the acting. Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery do generally good jobs as the Saints, but it's Julie Benz that drags the film down the most. Taking the place of Willam Dafoe from the original film, she shows up too old for this type of role (a seductive federal investigator) and with a southern accent that would make you cringe. One of the worst lines in the film is in its first scnes, when Benz's character Eunice Bloom says: "I'm so smart that I make smart people look retarded." Another noticably awful performance comes from stand up comic Bob Marley, who tries much too hard at that Boston accent. Note to Mr. Duffy: Shoe-horning the word "wicked" into every sentence does NOT equate to a convincing Boston accent. You'd think a local guy might know how the people around him speak. The other actors are generally bad, as Duffy simply takes a bunch of stereotype Itialians and puts them on screen for us to laugh at. Classy Troy, really classy. 
 
    I can't officially say I hated every single aspect of the film, as there were some scenes where I found myself entertained. While the majority of the script is utter garbage, there are a few little lines that I found clever and amusing such as "....and you must call out to your Lord! Annnd you get a busy signal." Initially, the film's premise had me interested, and I thought I'd be getting at least some good eye candy here, but alas, I was misguided. There's a cameo at the end that nearly infuriated me, and only further strengthened my feelings that this film had potential to be great.  
 
   There's very little to like about the Boondock Saints II. Most of its downfalls come from poor casting choices, a misused budget, and Troy Duffy's failure at nearly everything he tries to do. There were people in the cinema with me that laughed at every joke, prayed with the saints, and came out of the theater raving about it. Die hard fans of the original may like it, if they find weak humor and boring gun porn to be entertainment. When all of its flaws are totalled up, the Boondock Saints II feels like a fan made sequel penned and directed by a twelve year old. 
 
tl;dr: Only the hardest of the hardcore will find anything redeeming about this film.  
 
Score: 1.5/5


Added by Everyones_A_Critic on Oct. 28, 2009

Last night I saw what can only be described as the loudest show I've ever been to. The venue was superb, and I was right above the stage in a balcony with the perfect view. There were mosh pits, crowd surfers, and unfortunately juggaloes (I guess you can never escape them) and it was a hell of a night all around. Here's my review of the show band by band:  
 
-High on Fire: I had heard some of their songs through my friends, though the only one I really knew was "Fury Whip" which they opened with. They sounded fine, and the whole band just seems like a bunch of really cool guys. I found myself often fixated on the drummer, who was going absolutely apeshit.  
 
-Converge: I hadn't bothered to get into these guys before the show, mainly because I'm not a huge hardcore fan (or whatever genre you want to put them in, don't flame me). While musically they sounded really tight, the vocals were just noise to me. I will give them this, they had the greatest stage prescence out of any band that had played that night. Jacob Bannon, the singer, was whipping the mic around like a nunchuck (spelling fail) never stayed in the same place for more than a few seconds. At one point he called out to a guy in face paint (more than likely Juggalo paint) and asked what his favorite metal band was. He responded "Dinmu Boigeer". Bannon responded with "It's Dimmu Borgir, and you call yourself a fucking fan?!" and then continued to thrash about the stage. Even though I didn't know the music, the show they put on made up for it. 
 
-Mastodon: You can go ahead and say it: I'm a bandwagon Mastodon fan. I loved Crack the Skye when it came out earlier this year, and hearing the entire album live was absolutely phenomenal. I got goosebumps when the opening keyboard for "The Czar" came on. The trippy video that played in the background was immersive and proved to be a very effective addition to the performance. After Crack the Skye finished, they played a set of five or so songs from their previous albums, one from Blood Mountain, two from Leviathan, and two from Remission (MOTHER PUNCHER!!!). They closed on a Melvins cover (I think?).  
 
While Mastodon is a group of very talented musicians, I felt that they weren't very lively on stage. It was pretty awesome to see Brann Dailor going nuts on his drum kit, but the rest of the band just sort of stood there. Troy Sanders would occassionaly look out to the crowd to throw up the metal horns, but other than that they really didn't do much. Brann threw his drumsticks out to the crowd at the end, and they only said three words during their whole set: "See You Tommorow." It was great to see them live, but I kind of wish they had said.....something. 
 
-Dethklok: After an intermission/backstage view of the band, Brendon Small came out and opened with "Blood Ties". Their set was pretty well divided between old and new material. All of the best songs from The Dethalbum were played like Awaken, Birthday Dethday, Thunderhorse, Murmaider, Hatredcopter, and Fansong. Awaken and Murmaider were particularly fun live, as they got the crowd involved. Awakening ancient trolls and listing off weapons to kill mermaids with is pretty fun when you're screaming it in a packed venue. The Gears, Burn the Earth, and Dethsupport were also played from the Dethalbum II. They were fun to see, but I think Mastodon had the best set over all.  
 
So it was a phenomenal show all things considered. 
 
Have you seen any of these bands live? Do you have any stories from the shows?



Added by Everyones_A_Critic on Oct. 26, 2009

After the amount of both positive and negative feedback from my Paranormal Activity review, I figured I'd evaluate the other film I saw this weekend: Saw 6. I don't expect this one to generate any attention outside of the "So it's bad, I could've told you that!" comments, but I figured what the hell, I'll put it up here. 
 

There are those that love the Saw franchise, and those that loath it. Some will be in line for the midnight showing of the latest film, while others blame it for singlehandedly starting off the “gorno” sub-genre and defacing the horror genre. Still there are others like myself that watch each film each year simply out of curiosity. What character have they resurrected this time? What crazy traps do they have this year? How do they plan on confusing us even more? After the third installment I’ve been largely indifferent on the franchise. I don’t explicitly hate it, but the bloated plot lines and increasingly dull traps have shortened my level of patience for this once proud series (by which I mean the first two films).

Still, Lionsgate pumps a new film out each year the weekend before Halloween like clockwork, and people still flock to the cinema opening weekend to check them out. After the abysmal 5 installment you’d think you’d be hard pressed to find anything likeable about another sequel, and you’d be right. The problem with this is that I didn’t really find much to hate either. The film certainly won’t earn any new converts, but the fans of previous films will undoubtedly like it more than the last film, and will probably find something to like about it.

Don’t get me wrong here, Saw VI has a lot of flaws, most of which stem from its convoluted and now absurd plot line. Now that Agent Strahm is dead Agent Hoffman is now Jigsaw’s last living apprentice. The film revolves around Hoffman covering his tracks, blaming his crimes on the dead Strahm and making sure the “last” pieces of Jigsaw’s game fall into place. All the while the insurance mogul who denied Jigsaw coverage is put through a series of grueling tests for his “crimes” against the sick people he has denied coverage to. Poor use of political commentary aside, series veterans will know exactly what to expect here. William the insurance agent is faced with decisions that will leave one or more people dead but will save the life(s) of others in the process.

The strangest part of the film is that despite the constant jump between storylines, nothing really ever gets answered. Yes, the contents of the box revealed in Saw V are revealed, but we’re never told why they’re there and why they’re used on whom they’re used on. It’s a shame, because there’s little pay off. I expected something to be in the box worthy of a year’s wait, but ended up feeling ripped-off and confused.

Even if you go with the loony story line to see the traps, there’s a noticeable decrease in quality with each test. One of these is a maze where the subject must walk through white hot jets of steam to reach the end. The trap feels like it was ripped straight from a video game, and demonstrates that the filmmakers have been running out of ideas since Saw IV. Another trap has two subjects having to place a pound of flesh onto a scale to grant their freedom. This reminded me of a very similar scene in a far superior movie: 1995’s Seven. In that film, a lawyer is forced to give a pound of flesh as an act of contrition for their ‘crimes” against society. The only difference between the two is the subject’s job description. Even the carousel trap from the posters is disappointing, and being one of the last traps of the film makes it even worse.

Even with all the negative aspects of the film, and the sheer lack of positive ones, I still felt my eyes glued to the screen. I didn’t check my phone to see what time it was, and I never really found myself bored. At the very least, it didn’t overstay its welcome. Fans of the previous entries will probably like this, but newcomers will hate it and ultimately just become more confused as to why we watch these every year.    

Score: 3/5 
 
TL;DR: If you liked previous entries you'll find something to like here, newcomers are better off seeing the original.


Everyones_A_Critic's Reviews
Guitar Hero's Fourth Installment is Mediocre at Best (X360)
         When Guitar Hero World Tour was announced in early 2008, it quickly climbed its way into my "Most Anticipated Games" list for that year. The game promised many things, complete character and instrument customization, a mammoth track list, a studio mode for creating your own songs, and state of ...
Reviewed by Everyones_A_Critic on July 5, 2009
The Landscapes are Ugly, but they Blow Apart Beautifully (X360)
     The Red Faction series has had somewhat of a cult following over the years. While the series has garnered critical acclaim since the first installment, it has failed to reach true mainstream success. Now, almost seven years since Red Faction II hit consoles, developer Volition, Inc. brings us Red ...
Reviewed by Everyones_A_Critic on June 29, 2009

1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
Mercenaries 2 is Great Fun, but full of Game-killing bugs. (X360)
Most people who will buy and have bought Mercenaries 2: World in Flames either A.) Played the original or B.) Love to watch shit get blown up. If you fit neither of these demographics, I can almost assure you that you will hate this game, and you need not read ...
Reviewed by Everyones_A_Critic on Sept. 5, 2008
Aerosmith Fan or Not, This is a Solid Title (X360)
In the summer of 2007 Activision released the Harmonix-created Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80's. The game had a solid but extremely short tracklist and very little in the way of change to the Guitar Hero 2 formula. To top it all off, it was fifty bucks! The game was ...
Reviewed by Everyones_A_Critic on July 24, 2008

1 out of 1 found this review helpful.


Date Joined: July 21, 2008
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RHCPfan24 26 minutes ago
AH! My money will be gone!! L4D2 for the PC is $30 and Call of Juarez:BiB is $20 at Gamestop next Friday: http://bit.ly/6r1RM9
jakob187 57 minutes ago
New notification ringtone? "I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!" I feel my life is now complete.
Brad 1 hour, 11 minutes ago
Fired up Braid on a whim this morning and instantly solved the puzzle that had me stumped for a year. What the eff.
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My new power to change the GB homepage's tagline at will is surely going to lead to ruin.
DBoy 2 hours, 25 minutes ago
Saturday morning... err, afternoon. Feeling a bit meh.
Ryan 2 hours, 43 minutes ago
play on, player! RT @FINALLEVEL: http://twitpic.com/qdjt0 - Daily Pic: Name this Bay Area Mack!
JonathanMoore 3 hours, 52 minutes ago
Playing Mach Rider and Excitebike.
AjayRaz 15 hours, 22 minutes ago
Sunny handed my ass to me in Street Fighter IV. i will never be the same