The ending of Mass Effect 3 in one line

#1 Posted by Sooty (8082 posts) -

I'm Commander Shepard and welcome to Jackass.

#2 Posted by Pinworm45 (4088 posts) -

"I will direct this personally".

This is the line I feel sums it up, because I have disregarded their ending and substituted it with my own.

Also, I legitimately think I could have done a better job with the last 10 minutes than them.

#3 Posted by Sooty (8082 posts) -

@Pinworm45 said:

"I will direct this personally".

This is the line I feel sums it up, because I have disregarded their ending and substituted it with my own.

Also, I legitimately think I could have done a better job with the last 10 minutes than them.

This is what happens when you let Hamburger Hepler assume control.

I actually just like saying Hamburger Hepler, don't really hold her responsible for this mess.

#4 Posted by CaptainCharisma (338 posts) -
#5 Posted by mylifeforAiur (3479 posts) -

Wait... that's it?

#6 Posted by Animasta (14460 posts) -

@Sooty: saying it is still super insulting towards her no matter what context it's in actually

#7 Posted by Sooty (8082 posts) -

@Animasta said:

@Sooty: saying it is still super insulting towards her no matter what context it's in actually

I think after all the Twitter stuff she should be fairly thick skinned by now, leave my fondness for that stupid name alone.

#8 Posted by Animasta (14460 posts) -

@Sooty: never, and even if she has the skin of a krogan it's still terrible :|

#9 Edited by Zacagawea (1569 posts) -

I'm drugged up Commander Shepard and I'm assuming direct control of this game's ending

#10 Posted by wsowen02 (307 posts) -

Pretty sure Hepler is a writer on the DA team, not ME.

And I know it's terrible, but "hamburger Hepler" is pretty funny.

#11 Posted by Mr_Misery (245 posts) -

Instantly: I'm not sure what just happened, but those fights in the streets of London were cool.

Now: I waited three games for this?

#12 Posted by Nightriff (4347 posts) -

I paid 60 dollars for this and all I got was an unsatisfactory game (2 games in a row now), fuck you Bioware.

#13 Posted by ajamafalous (11592 posts) -
@Sooty said:

she should be fairly thick skinned by now

Ha!
#14 Posted by Hitchenson (4682 posts) -

@Sooty said:

@Animasta said:

@Sooty: saying it is still super insulting towards her no matter what context it's in actually

I think after all the Twitter stuff she should be fairly thick skinned by now, leave my fondness for that stupid name alone.

She looked fairly thick skinned before the twitter stuff.

#15 Posted by Jost1 (2077 posts) -

@Sooty said:

I'm Commander Shepard and welcome to Jackass.

hahahaha that would have been preferrable

#16 Posted by Sferics (20 posts) -

@Jost1 said:

@Sooty said:

I'm Commander Shepard and welcome to Jackass.

hahahaha that would have been preferrable

Anyone else immediately hear the theme of that show in their head as soon as they read that?

#17 Posted by Jaytow (673 posts) -

Bioware dun goofed.

#18 Posted by morrelloman (601 posts) -

DLC shepard breaks the fourth wall and talks to the camera. Says he is making his own ending - Mass space orgy. He goes stretch Armstrong and controls the reapers with one hand, kills them with the other and puts his junk in the white light.

#19 Posted by Branwulf (391 posts) -

@morrelloman: We all know that's the canon ending.

#20 Posted by mikey87144 (1487 posts) -

Well, it could've been a dream sequence.

Online
#21 Posted by jonano (361 posts) -

Wow I really thought that going to spoil the end of Mass Effect but all this negative talk of the ending is freaking me out .I almost don't want to play it and live with the ending I dreamed up for it

#22 Posted by Silvergun (297 posts) -

@CaptainCharisma said:

Going to be honest, this would have made that ending go down a LOT easier.

#23 Posted by Liquidus (939 posts) -

The cake is a lie.

As much as I hate that meme, it rings so true here.

#24 Posted by Morrow (1828 posts) -

@Sooty said:

@Animasta said:

@Sooty: saying it is still super insulting towards her no matter what context it's in actually

I think after all the Twitter stuff she should be fairly thick skinned by now, leave my fondness for that stupid name alone.

Bad treatment from others doens't necessarily make you thick-skinned. Sometimes it just makes you bitter and frustrated and cynical and antisocial. Most people are more sensitive than they seem/act. Just saying.

#25 Posted by TheHumanDove (2396 posts) -

So I was JC all along?

#26 Edited by Vegetable_Side_Dish (1722 posts) -

9.5/10 one of the finest stories ever told in gaming history editor's choice buy now at gamestop.  Oh wait, that was IGN, my bad. 
 
 
 
@Sooty : The meme is actually Hamburger Helper. She didn't write for ME3 though, that's somebody else's mess.

#27 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -
@Zacagawea said:

I'm drugged up Commander Shepard and I'm assuming direct control of this game's ending

And then he falls off the station. Like, off the edge.
#28 Posted by Fozimuth (170 posts) -
I know why people compare these endings to Deus Ex, but these are nowhere near Deus Ex.  All of Deus Ex's endings are incredibly different and actually allow for interpretation.  Should the world be ruled by an all-powerful, logical albeit benevolent supercomputer (Helios), is this technology more trouble than it's worth (Tong), does the world need someone to secretly guide it (Illuminati).  Basically.
 
As opposed to "Robots are evil, fuck them.  By the way, I hope you didn't build your civilization around mass relays, because they're gone.  Later, assholes."
#29 Posted by depecheload (493 posts) -

I can get it down to two words:

Nothing Matters.

You could have played ME1 full Renegade, had everyone but one character die in the end of ME2 and done the bare minimum of quests needed to get to the end of ME3, killing the Krogran and the Geth in the process. Or, you could have played ME1 full paragon, saved everyone in ME2, done everything in ME3 and ended the Quarian/Geth war.

None of that matters, you get the same pallet swap endings.

And if people can't figure out why THAT is so upsetting to us hardcore fans, then they're just being jerks.

#30 Posted by Helios1337 (321 posts) -

@CaptainCharisma said:

That should have been what appeared after the credits.

#31 Edited by SpaceInsomniac (3326 posts) -
@Silvergun said:

@CaptainCharisma said:

Going to be honest, this would have made that ending go down a LOT easier.

More like: Yo Dawg, I heard you don't wanna have all organic life in the universe destroyed by synthetics, so I made some synthetics to kill everyone but the least advanced lifeforms every 50K years, so all organic life in the universe won't be destroyed by synthetics. 
  

And my ending in one line:  A poorly explained and difficult decision must be made, resulting in a vague and unsatisfying conclusion. 
 
A more positive ending in one line:  It's about the journey, not the destination.
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#32 Posted by joshthebear (2700 posts) -

Star Child, huh?

#33 Edited by Jake_K (105 posts) -
#34 Posted by MoseSSesoM (235 posts) -

Ending in one line:

"You can't save them all."

#35 Posted by Jaytow (673 posts) -

Says it all.

#36 Posted by IBurningStar (2145 posts) -

"I'm really tired of writing this story, can we get someone from Team Ninja or Capcom to come write the last, I don't know, ten or so minutes?"

#37 Posted by Capum15 (4572 posts) -

"Fuck you and your choices."

"I'm Commander Shepard, and I'm tripping balls on the Citadel."

#38 Posted by JonSmith (168 posts) -

How's that?

#39 Posted by James_Giant_Peach (751 posts) -

@Vegetable_Side_Dish said:

9.5/10 one of the finest stories ever told in gaming history editor's choice buy now at gamestop. Oh wait, that was IGN, my bad.



@Sooty : The meme is actually Hamburger Helper. She didn't write for ME3 though, that's somebody else's mess.

Actually no it's totally Hamburger Hepler, that's the whole point. If it was Hamburger Helper, it wouldn't be a pun.

#40 Edited by Vegetable_Side_Dish (1722 posts) -
@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Vegetable_Side_Dish said:

9.5/10 one of the finest stories ever told in gaming history editor's choice buy now at gamestop. Oh wait, that was IGN, my bad.



@Sooty : The meme is actually Hamburger Helper. She didn't write for ME3 though, that's somebody else's mess.

Actually no it's totally Hamburger Hepler, that's the whole point. If it was Hamburger Helper, it wouldn't be a pun.

No no no...the joke is that her name is Hepler, and people turned it around to make 'Helper'.  
Hamburger Helper is a food product:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamburger_Helper 
That is where the meme comes form.  
It originated on 4chan, I believe.  
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/220/1300474624648.jpg/
#41 Posted by Great__defunct__Northern (127 posts) -

@Silvergun said:

@CaptainCharisma said:

Going to be honest, this would have made that ending go down a LOT easier.

I haven't played ME3, but saw this meme last week when the game released. It obviously makes zero sense, but I was intrigued. "There's no way that's the actual ending," I thought.

So I watched all the Youtube videos, read all the various synopses that are out there.

I'm still in shock that, yes, that is basically the ending. Was going to buy the GOTY edition after enjoying the first two games, but now I don't think I care at all.

#42 Posted by Silvergun (297 posts) -

@GreatNorthern: Yeah, I hear that.

I actually thought the ending was outstanding, and was about to come to the conclusion that the internet didn't know what it was talking about...then all the BS started. Then the credits rolled and Bioware decided to give me a second helping of BS. Sad really, I loved where they were going before it went off the rails.

#43 Posted by CharlesAlanRatliff (5355 posts) -
#44 Edited by BoG (5178 posts) -

@Silvergun said:

@GreatNorthern: Yeah, I hear that.

I actually thought the ending was outstanding, and was about to come to the conclusion that the internet didn't know what it was talking about...then all the BS started. Then the credits rolled and Bioware decided to give me a second helping of BS. Sad really, I loved where they were going before it went off the rails.

This is what makes it so much worse. I was really loving the game up until... I guess you encounter the Reapified Illusive Man. Yes, there were some things I didn't like (EDI is the first thing that comes to mind), but I accepted it. I too was thinking "This is GREAT!" and then... It feels like they gave up at that point. I love the idea of the final showdown being in dialogue, it was so fitting for the series, but the whole conversation felt silly. Then, we encounter the magic little boy, and he gives you choices which all suck. I think I sat staring at the screen trying to take it all in for at least 10 minutes. Finally, no matter what you choose, you get almost the exact same ending scene, and it feels dumb.

Before I saw the ending, I spend about 30 hours anticipating an epilogue that would detail what happens to my surviving comrades, what happens as the civilizations in the galaxy rebuild. I wanted to know what impact the reaper invasion would have on the galaxy, how the different races would go on, what impact saving the Krogan, Geth, and Quarians might have on galactic politics. There was so much I couldn't wait to learn about. I had heard that the ending was bad, but I didn't really care, because the aftermath was more important to me. The little details were always the most intriguing part of the Mass Effect games. Bioware killed my dreams. Honestly, the best possible ending would have been the simplest: they build the Crucible, which turns the tide of the war, and they defeat the reapers. The end. Nothing crazy. And then they live happily ever after.

@CharlesAlanRatliff: Just saw you posted this after I wrote my rant. This is actually a pretty accurate summation of how I feel.

Moderator
#45 Posted by JeanLuc (3518 posts) -

@Silvergun said:

@GreatNorthern: Yeah, I hear that.

I actually thought the ending was outstanding, and was about to come to the conclusion that the internet didn't know what it was talking about...then all the BS started. Then the credits rolled and Bioware decided to give me a second helping of BS. Sad really, I loved where they were going before it went off the rails.

One of the reasons the ending is so disappointing is because up till that point, the game's story is fantastic. I was thinking to myself, "Man, this is great. This scene is really powerful and full of emotion. Wait, why is Shepard being lifted up by a floor panel?"

#46 Posted by Tennmuerti (7721 posts) -

2 reapers 1 shepard

Online
#47 Posted by Sveppi (124 posts) -

I guess I'm in the minority then, as I pretty much loved the ending (odd tiny plot holes n' all) as I think it fits well into the thematic story arc. My journey, my story, my tragedy. Even though it was orchestrated by BioWare. It moved me in ways no game has.

#48 Posted by big_jon (5661 posts) -

Pooped its pants.

#49 Posted by Demoskinos (13869 posts) -

@Sooty said:

I'm Commander Shepard and welcome to Jackass.

Fuck me. I would so play this game. In fact... it would make the game so much better.

#50 Posted by Jedted (2258 posts) -

I have mixed feelings about the ending, on one hand i liked but wish it had a lot more closure. I think the moral that Bioware was going for is there are forces in the universe that you just can't control.

That said, i gotta say that i liked the ending of ME2 a lot better than this. ME3 was a nice culmination of all the decisions you made in ME1 and 2 but the ending felt rushed.

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