Part 1 (1-12)

Part 2 (12-20)

So far things have been dripped out at a manageable pace but in this, the third leg of our journey, the stakes are amped. And it all starts with children.

Kids. Stop playing with those guns.

Yes, child soldiers. An increasingly common-ish theme in the overall fiction (particularly if your name happens to be Raiden) and one that's handled kinda as you'd expect. You can't kill them because that'd be ... very... bad for business. So you do the only thing a Konami lawyer will advise at this point: Stop complaining and bring those kids back to base. It'll have some repercussions but now Mother Base is a school as well as a Noah's ark. It also means that, for the first time in a long while, I'm having to favour non-lethal weapons in case things get loud. Thankfully, Quiet loves sleepy kids and the waist-high cover populating the outposts are head-height cover for the kids.

They never see me coming. Bop. You're my kids, now.

Especially the King Kid. Eli is his name and they waste no time in removing all mystery from this blonde Tottenham geezer who only knows how to communicate by stabbing and spitting. Kaz immediately digs up some research and is all, "Hey, one of your clones is in Africa. Convenient. He's probably one of them." It's kinda an essential step they have to take seeing as Liquid references a past with Big Boss that's arguably more fatherly than the one he had with Solid. Placing them in the here and now (of the past, like) gives them a chance to set that up. Pity they set the tone so quickly, really. Eli turns up, tries to knife Big Boss and then tries it again in a side-op that involves just backhanding the little git til he cries and spits.

He's a brat. The kind of brat that will resent Big Boss for the duration of his short life. They've set it up. They don't need to go any further. I do like how Eli is now a small kid in an adult world and his authority on others has been removed but this was all done so quickly and there's no real arch likely to happen because, well, we know how it ends up.

Fun of a Base

So after doing a couple more Far Cry 2 missions for Africans A and Africans B the game decides now's the time to get FOB on us. It's a feature that, whilst it looked super cool in promotion, was never something I was especially keen on. I'm not huge of tower defense or multiplayer in general so the forced tutorial was somewhat unwelcome. I tried to go through the retaking of the platform the normal, full frontal method but got gunned to shreds on the third deck. The next time I saw death just inches away from the opposing commander. Pissed doesn't cover it. Eventually, I picked a spot right near the mission start and just waited to snipe the target. Frankly, at this point, I just wanted it done. Glad its over. Now let's never speak of it again. Just give me my extra platforms, thanks.

Coughs and Sneezes

So... then they give us some virulent disease that's rampant through the base. Enter another tutorial where I have to get to grips with quarantine. I found the common factor pretty quickly which isn't too hard given how bare the information is you get on staff. Imagine my disdain when I realised I had 250 Kikongo speakers on staff. I had to assign them all to the Q Zone one by one. My base was crippled and, as a rather cruel twist, the majority came from the medical wing. I'm furious at this point. I can barely develop anything and the only information I'm getting about how the quarantine is going is negative. I was hoping to prevent further losses so my priority now was getting a cure. Quiet still had time to stab a man in the teeth. This was fun. The game had acknowledged I was on the right track but still fed me the cut-scene afterwards. Also, the way they speak to Quiet reminds me of how Aussies speak to Skippy.

What's that, Quiet? You think there's something wrong with their mouths!? STREWTH!

Has nobody thought to get that woman a pen? If nothing else, the epidemic gave me a real sense of urgency to mainline the story whilst still wondering how the living frig a disease would spread through language. This is what you get for bringing kids on board. Miller wanted to kill them but he did not kill their clothes. Bad Miller. You're washing the dishes tonight.

NANOMACHINES! OF THE NATURAL WORLD!

Fuck! I KNEW IT! Yes but there's something off about that. Maybe this old man will explain everything to me after I kill some of his creations. Wait, I can just sneak past this lot. Hoorah! Why is there a lingering arse shot on the bald women? I want to see these as stern opposition, not objects. Plus there's nowt going on up top. I don't look at a woman in the arse if I want to talk to them. I do that shit in secret. Anyways....

There's a heavily guarded mansion which becomes a lesser guarded mansion because I'm instructing Quiet to just shoot at will. Let's be honest, I'm short on time. I just want to grab this old man and he'll be all, "Here's the antidote, brah. Can I vape with you guys, now?" So we meet Code Talker. A man who, disappointingly, does not talk in code. He's an old man who talks slowly but in long exposition. Turns out he's Mr. Bad Science. The kind of guy Emmerich probably aspires to be. So, here's a short version....

I'm a paraistologist. I invented these parasites which latch on to the vocal chords, wait for a trigger phrase in a language they like, make lots of babies, hit the lungs real quick and then die. They spew their eggs off to another host real quick and it spreads like butter. The military application for this is super simple: Ethnic cleansing. Brutal, inaccurate holocaust. Wanna hit the pipe with me?

Seriously, this is a better explanation than I could've expected. Its still science fiction but it follows a decent logic. One of the African groups can wipe out the other with said parasites and then you could reprogram them to silence any other lot you disliked. It appears that's what Skull Face was doing with the bodies at the hospital in Mission 20. Everyone is at risk except English speakers because... maybe he doesn't want to deal with them on a business level? See, we also learn Skull Face has an idea about deterrence. Admittedly a better idea than Hot Coldman had in Peace Walker. Sell everyone some nukes and you're back to a level playing field. You make a ton of money and you also have these parasites that can silence anybody who gets lippy. You can stop talking now, fella. You'll give away our position.

We also made these other parasites for the SKULLS. They harden the skin like an armour and add all kinds of crazy powers that make absolutely no sense. Like, some of them are super quick and others pull up these weird carbon icicles that come from literally nowhere. Seriously, they're not pulling up the ground or anything. It's magic. FUCKING MAGIC!

Look, Kojima. Remember when you presented the player with threats just because they were supposed to be real good at their job? Sniper Wolf was really good at sniping. Vulcan Raven has the stature to come at you with a plane's mini-gun. Liquid Snake is relentless. You're now presenting me with a Megaman boss, his child psychic sidekick and a unit of magic women. Can they not just be excellent soldiers? These are experiments. These are obstacles and nuisances. I do not fear them. Especially when I have a magic woman of my own who knows where all the best vantage points are. Fine. Okay. How do we fix these sore throats? Fine, I'll hit your stupid peace pipe.

Thanks. You're sorted now. You can use that or I've got this thing in a glass case which does the same thing but is more long term. It's ANOTHER PARASITE I've been working on. This won't cure of expel them because like, they're in you now but they'll stop the buggers from making throat babies and stop them from gender bending in throat town. By the way, these will make your men sterile. Because.

That's fine, mate. I've already got three kids. Actually, no. Just how the hell do you get from one set of genocide parasites to super armour parasites? Obviously this is all out in the wild but I'm not convinced of your bullshit, Sir.

Look, Hideo needs to crowbar a precursor to nanomachines into this somehow. Me and Huey will combine our research into murdering parasitic robots and then the series will roll on its merry way. I'm expositioned out.

And with that, the base is cured. 40 casualties because the guys already infected have no backsies. Bollocks. Time to rebuild. Time to march on Skull Face. Did that soldier just sneeze?

So this is it, huh?

Yup. At the time of writing the next mission up is the assault on Castle Skullfenstein. I took one look at that place, saw the red dots and thought, "Man, I should dust off some side ops and bring the base back up." I kinda want to get his arc done, though. If nothing else because Skull Face has some actual legit reasons lined up for his rough rise to power. He's the kind of villain that believes he's pulling this all for a greater good and he's not being a massive eejit like Hot Coldman. So, resolution is hopefully just around the corner which gives me possibly the last call for crazy predictions.

1. Quiet doesn't speak because she has a throat of parasitic timebombs that will kill the English. Also, the silver paintjob really kills her sex appeal. Good. She's a T-1000 now.
2. Eli will continue to be the prick he was born to be. I hear people complain about how his arc is kinda dropped but I probably won't mind seeing as it's in the spot it needs to be leading up to Metal Gear Solid.
3. Big Boss scarpered after the hospital siege. Whilst Ishmael should be a figment of Big Boss' determination to get out of a jam, it's more likely (and more depressing) that Kojima decided a switcheroo is 'clever writing'. Ignoring the repercussions of a Mother Base being built on the say-so of an imposter just so the real boss can go under Cipher's radar to do exactly the same thing. Whilst all his comrades are like, "LEAD US, MILITARY JESUS!" If this turns out to be true, all the character building and the idea of Big Boss and Cipher having an uneasy truce will be for naught.
4. Psycho Mantis was never psychic to begin with. He knew what you played in Metal Gear Solid because you had a spy within your support staff. His boss battle and his levitation came courtesy of some John Woo wirework. He never piloted Sehalanthropus. That's a dude in the cabin that you can't see. He doesn't control Man on Fire because he's just a guy in a suit.
5. The ending will disappoint me.
6. Hideo Kojima will never work again. Unless Konami make a match-three game based on anime girls.

So the next part will hopefully conclude this series of blogs as I intend to cover both endings and put this game to bed. 70 hours in. Still enjoying it but I'm ready to see this one off.

Hey just wanted to chime in to say that I'm really enjoying these :D Great reads, keep 'em coming!

P.S. Try saying psychic sidekick 5 times fast

You do know you an select multiple soldiers at once, right?

Also you're still a while off from the ending.

Of course not. Although I've got to wonder if that saves any time seeing as you're looking at them individually to identify their languages. I'll be on www.twitch.tv/shindigpsc shortly to give 30 another shot. I've tried going in loud. They did not appreciate that. And I'm aware I'm 16 missions away from the final curtain. I've also spotted a new door on the command platform that I can't open yet. MYSTERIES!

@shindig: Well even though you had to examine each one, it would have definitely been quicker. Given that you say you had 250 Kikongo speaking recruits in your base. Usually my waiting room gets really full, and I end up discharging hundreds of recruits at a time this late into the game.

The first time I did mission 30, I got a D because I decided to blow up the helicopter, and payed for it with a few combat alerts. But a good tactic I've been using is to shoot a group of enemies in quick succession with the tranq gun anywhere in the body. As long as you hit them once, they'll all fall asleep around the same time without waking each other up. I found that really helped me for this mission.

The helicopter sort of patrols on the periphery of one of the sections, so it's relative easy to hide from.

The female skulls introduction scene was really funny. First we get a quick boobs shot for each female skull. Then, the camera went to their leader's face to let us know to whom the boobs belongs to. Then went down and camped on the butt of their leader for a while.

This was like a textbook porn introduction take.

Silver body paint is so sexy. But really I got tired of those two and kept with the bloody one or the ones you unlock later. I heard you can unlock the gold & silver paint for Snake too, but I imagine those look ever dumber. The sniper Skulls battle was awesome and that intro was really silly/stupid in the most anime way ever. Obviously you need maximize the sexiness of your super human/mutant killing machines, if not they're probably not that good at killing.

Anyway make sure to dig into all of the Code Talker tapes over the course of the game, they get really into the origins of himself, his skills/abilities, and the parasites too.

@kasaioni: Cheers for the assistance on the stream tonight. 31's feeling like a war of attrition. Going to chalk a few side-ops off and then go again tomorrow.

@shindig: Yeah, just gotta get in some damage whenever possible. The rail-gun is a one-shot kill always, so you have to hide behind some geometry when he uses it.

I think I'm done. This boss fight is a nightmare.

EDIT: Done. That... err ... was a very Peace Walker boss.