I remember watching a quick look of an RTS type game that had you play as a few soldiers and you control them in this kind of virtual reality world. It was on a grid You would have them hide behind walls or chest-high walls that could be destroyed. The quick look I believe had Mike and Dave (and maybe even Vinny!), but I can't remember what the name was. I also recall the game wasn't available on Steam at that time, only through the game's site directly, and if you bought it you get codes for a few friends.

I haven't read your post but I can tell you in no uncertain terms that the game you are looking for is Stronghold: Crusader. 
 
We are the Macemen!

Thanks you two :D