All fathomable variations of my name that don't include a number (and yes, I tried incorporating periods, even in the middle of my first and last name, and apparently people saw fit to take that as well) are taken on Gmail. How can I make a semi-professional email address now?!?!
 
I have an .edu email, but it can't attach files larger than 5MB and it also has numbers, because apparently no less than 88 people with my first initial/last name attended this school before me.