Douchebags
Douchebaggery
When I get jealous
When I get silly
When the brownies are gone
Accidentally seeing roadkill
when pets cease to be
being on fire (I assume)
clowns
zoos
the circus
when my camera batteries die and I have no backup
being sick
when the house is dirty
fruit flies ( I submit that they are THE most offensive insect ever) 
tbc...