User Reviews
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2.67 stars 2.67/5 Stars Average score of 9 user reviews spread across 0 releases and 0 DLC

A Literal Nightmare 0

Just take a guess. What would you say would turn me off most in a game?If you said mazes, you’re right.Wolfenstein 3D is all mazes. Sometimes the walls of the maze change colors. Sometimes the maze opens into a large room, but the rooms are always nondescript and difficult to tell apart. You wander around, trying to find the key so you can escape to a new level oftorment, killing everything you see. At some point new enemies show up; maybe you kill some kind of Frankenstein G.I. who tries to kar...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

Another Probably Good Game That I Actively Dislike 0

Ultima VII is pretty cool for what it is I guess. It looks really good compared to Ultima IV and has an interesting engine for interacting with the world, where you can just move shit around without even being near it. However, poetically, despite the game looking much better, I had the same basic problem I encountered with Ultima IV. There, I couldn’t figure out what to say to Lord British to make him further the main plot; here, I couldn’t find a person I had to find to tell them about my murd...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

Technically Impressive But Shows Its Age 0

Here is Ultima Underworld:Here is Wolfenstein 3D:Let’s notice some things about the former. First off, all the stuff around the edge isn’t just decoration; on the left are different commands you can use, on the right is your character management screen, and along the bottom is information about the world around you. Notice the differing floor heights and sloped surfaces. Notice the shit just lying around that you can pick up or not. And notice that in Wolf 3D, none of that stuff is present. Ulti...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

Quite a Treat 0

Monkey Island 2 is a really positive experience. The humor hits way more often than in the first game. I would describe it as being actually funny. Maybe not quite laugh-out-loud very much, but it’s much more charming and pleasant to play. The side characters are injected with more personality, and even Guybrush, who I didn’t care for at all in the first game, is now a likable, interesting protagonist. There are still moments where the humor doesn’t stick the landing, but it’s the consistency th...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

A Significantly Flawed Gem 0

Have you ever wanted to watch two groups of ants fight each other? Like, you and a friend each raise a colony of ants next to each other, influencing the environment but mostly letting the ants just do what they do, building their colony. You and your friend can each go over to the other ant colony every once in a while and just totally eff it up, just wreck it like a borrowed car, and then retreat back to your own area and continue helping the ants build, and repair any damage your opponent has...

1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

Bare systems jutting out 0

Was there some sort of mandate in the early 90s that made every adventure game come automatically with some kind of boring grind area? This game is really cool and sometimes pretty funny, but almost everything surrounding the insult swordfighting sucks bad. It’s a problem that you can see later as well, at the point in the game where you have to haggle over a used ship, picking certain dialogue options to drive the price down. Like the insult swordfighting, it’s an interesting idea, but either t...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

An Adventure Game Where Everything At Least Makes Sense 0

Loom is the first game I’ve played for this project where anything made any sense at all. I see it as a herald of a beautiful new age.Loom takes place in a world where guilds and magic are everywhere. The world isn’t necessarily totally internally logical, but I’m not going to hold that against the game too much. You play as Bobbin Threadbare, a young member of the Guild of Weavers. Weavers use their staves to perform musical note-based magic spells that can “weave” the fabric of reality.As fant...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

A good piece of writing rendered unreadable by flowy longhand 0

This one didn’t grab me.See, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Video Game does some really interesting stuff. It seems like it’s embracing its status as a movie tie-in product, in that many of the puzzles can be solved just like they are in the film. However, the designers also went above and beyond by programming in alternate solutions to puzzles that players can use if they’re smart enough.The problem is, I’m not smart enough.I’ve had some success with newer adventure games, but with thi...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.

A Game for Somebody 0

My first attempt at Ultima IV was an unmitigated disaster.I thought I was doing well. I put in the time beforehand! I read the History of Britannia just like the game told me to, I answered the class-choosing questions at the outset honestly and wound up as a bard, I kept my mind open despite the graphics being what they are.Then I got into the game itself, and I couldn’t do anything right. I walked over the Lord British’s castle and had to fumble around at the keyboard to discover that “E,” for...

0 out of 0 found this review helpful.