Cpervin

Hopefully, this stuff will spark a resurgence in the rumors of Allard's prominent involvement in some crazy Microsoft orgy-having, partner-swapping swingers club.  When you're as XTREME as Allard, monogamous relationships aren't enough to satisfy.

Exactly.

Okay. 
Here are some facts about me: 

1. I've never driven an automobile legally, and in my 25 years of life, I've only driven one (1) Subaru four (4) times in two (...) adjacent parking lots in Ashland, OR.
   
2. The closest thing I've had to a career was in the exciting, draining field of residential care for the retired and enfeebled, eventually obtaining CNA (Certified Nurses Assistant) certification from the state of Oregon. Mostly, I kept orderlies and cooks on task when not delivering special meals to the very ill - or recently deceased, on two occasions.
   
3. I was offered a writing position at Jeremy Parish's side project/zine, Gamespite.net, but I couldn't figure out the wiki markup language the day my first article was due and, showing the kind of derring-do and stick-it-to-ive-ness I've developed a reputation for, I just kinda stopped posting on the staff forum. Since my first piece of Gamespitefullness is nearly a year over deadline now, I don't think I really have a position there. I can still access the staff forums, which is kinda neat.
4. I've played guitar for nearly 9 years, and I'm still barely an intermediate talent at the instrument.
   
5. I cannot whistle.
   
6. The only time I've ever been a recognized member of a videogame message board/community type thing was four or five years ago, on the insertcredit forums. Oh, those were the days. I never countenanced to selectbutton.net - although there's still a bunch of old "internet friends" posting there I wouldn't mind communicating with.
7. I've been toying around with interactive fiction for the past three months or so, using the Inform scripting language (if you can call something so... intuitive a scripting language - which is what it is, of course, it just uses, like, actual grammatical sense to this Lit Comp major).  When I get something that is not pre-alpha done, I'll host it somewhere. Any zcode interpreter will run the Inform language, I think, so it shouldn't be much of a hassle no matter what system you've got. Right now, I think a true experience with my project requires a Commodore 64 with an Epyx fast cart loader. Hopefully, I'll get some stuff written on the process of writing IF with no prior game development experience and post it here, but I'm pretty slow and notoriously flaky when it comes to this stuff. 
8. I like NEXT GENERATION POWER and all, but lately I've been enjoying PSP and DS gaming way more than the NEXT GENERATION POWER experience - the recent slew of awesome fighting games and Far Cry 2 notwithstanding. 
9. My favorite comic artist is Alex Ross, of being Alex Ross the Comic Artist fame.  One of my favorite high brow authors in any field is also named Alex Ross, of the New Yorker and writer of 2007's Pulitzer Prize nominated The Rest is Noise: Listening to the 20th Century. 
10. I play bar trivia at the Hawthorne Hideaway (it's on SE Hawthorne St. in Portland, OR) every Monday.  Our team is named Willocalypse, for very long and convoluted reasons.
    

Woah -- I haven't logged on Giant Bomb since posting that, and I had no idea there were people reading or commenting on it.  I'll do better in the future, I promise... no, I guess I can't promise that. I almost never stick with any internet community for more than 24 hours. But I should! Anyway, I'll start writing something more about trying to wrap one's mind around translating Thomas Pynchon into interactive fiction.

I'm going to start writing an interactive fiction game, right now. It's nearly 5 in the morning.

Hello, and welcome.