I know what I should do, But I do what I have to.

Catchy title ne?

Anyway, This topic is about life's little curveballs that it likes to throw at you. Basically, I just got this new job. I have a few things I need to pay off and such. but I also have to save up money before the mid point of september to get an apartment with my girlfriend. Which I want to do more than anything. But, I feel like everything is happening so fast and out of my control. She has to take a few more credits to graduate from college. Its too late for her to get another student loan to pay for her to stay in the dorms. So we HAVE to get an apartment together. obviously hindsight is 20/20. If I could make it so, she would stay in the dorms and I would continue to live with my father until she got the last few credits she needs for her degree and I would save as much money as I could in the mean time. at wich point we could get our own place. But thats not possible.

I don't even know if this new job is gonna work out yet. I mean I think I can make it work. But I don't know. I'm the kind of person who likes to be 100% sure before I make a decision about something. and the fact of the matter is if She cant get a job while shes also busy being a student and also doesn't even have a drivers license or a car, I have to provide most if not all of the cash needed to sustain us. And I cant even be sure that I'm going to get the hours needed at work to make that kind of money.

I think that if I'm lucky I can make enough to keep a roof over our heads, but what if my car breaks down? What will I do? I have to get to work to get money.

I love her, but I don't know if we are prepared for what is about to happen in our lives.

I blame my dad for some of this shit. I mean he threatens to kick me out constantly. I'm on the defensive, Ive been preparing to move out the best I can but all this other shit is happening at the same time. If I just had a little more time to save up and prepare it would be ok.

If she gets a job we might be okay, she cant even start applying for jobs until after we get an apartment because she lives in another city and has to commute by bus, it just seems like such a longshot to me.

9 Comments
9 Comments
Posted by Devil240Z

Catchy title ne?

Anyway, This topic is about life's little curveballs that it likes to throw at you. Basically, I just got this new job. I have a few things I need to pay off and such. but I also have to save up money before the mid point of september to get an apartment with my girlfriend. Which I want to do more than anything. But, I feel like everything is happening so fast and out of my control. She has to take a few more credits to graduate from college. Its too late for her to get another student loan to pay for her to stay in the dorms. So we HAVE to get an apartment together. obviously hindsight is 20/20. If I could make it so, she would stay in the dorms and I would continue to live with my father until she got the last few credits she needs for her degree and I would save as much money as I could in the mean time. at wich point we could get our own place. But thats not possible.

I don't even know if this new job is gonna work out yet. I mean I think I can make it work. But I don't know. I'm the kind of person who likes to be 100% sure before I make a decision about something. and the fact of the matter is if She cant get a job while shes also busy being a student and also doesn't even have a drivers license or a car, I have to provide most if not all of the cash needed to sustain us. And I cant even be sure that I'm going to get the hours needed at work to make that kind of money.

I think that if I'm lucky I can make enough to keep a roof over our heads, but what if my car breaks down? What will I do? I have to get to work to get money.

I love her, but I don't know if we are prepared for what is about to happen in our lives.

I blame my dad for some of this shit. I mean he threatens to kick me out constantly. I'm on the defensive, Ive been preparing to move out the best I can but all this other shit is happening at the same time. If I just had a little more time to save up and prepare it would be ok.

If she gets a job we might be okay, she cant even start applying for jobs until after we get an apartment because she lives in another city and has to commute by bus, it just seems like such a longshot to me.

Edited by Humanity

Not that I know anything about your life but a relationship probably shouldn't hinge on one person making sure it all works out. You will burn yourself out and end up starting to be bitter and resentful towards pretty much everything. Obviously she should get a job to help out but I dunno your situations and all that. I had a job all throughout college and worked nights up until 2am and had class the following morning. It's not ideal but it's not impossible.

Posted by TaliciaDragonsong

Lots of experience speaking here: Don't start going into living together before all your shit is 100% taken care off.
Even if you two end up together you have to make very clear rules about the money and costs, working up a debt is terrible and will only add to the misery (and sometimes it can hurt the relationship!)
 
Talk it over, work it out, air your fears.

Posted by Devil240Z

@Humanity said:

Not that I know anything about your life but a relationship probably shouldn't hinge on one person making sure it all works out. You will burn yourself out and end up starting to be bitter and resentful towards pretty much everything. Obviously she should get a job to help out but I dunno your situations and all that. I had a job all throughout college and worked nights up until 2am and had class the following morning. It's not ideal but it's not impossible.

I had a job while I was in school I know the drill there. Its just that with the job market the way it is she might not find a job as soon as we would like, being that she has a class schedule to work around and all. And in that case I have to be there to make sure we are okay. And if I knew 100% that I could do that I would be okay with it. But I'm not even sure of that. Basically the next six months or so of our lives hinges on alot of thing going right when they aren't likely to.

Posted by Devil240Z

@TaliciaDragonsong said:

Lots of experience speaking here: Don't start going into living together before all your shit is 100% taken care off. Even if you two end up together you have to make very clear rules about the money and costs, working up a debt is terrible and will only add to the misery (and sometimes it can hurt the relationship!) Talk it over, work it out, air your fears.

Talking about this stuff stresses her out so much. I just want her to be able to fucus on school. She knows I'm the kind of person who stresses about every last detail. Maybe that means she isn't as worried as she should be because I act calmer than I really am.

Ultimately we have no choice either way. The wheels are turning.

Posted by SharkEthic

@Devil240Z said:

Ultimately we have no choice either way. The wheels are turning.

Then buckle down and prepare for some shit times ahead, but at the same time find comfort in the fact that there's a definite light at the end of the tunnel. She'll graduate eventually, get a job, and all will be well. But if I were you, I might start looking for a second job, and prepare to suck it up in the coming times.

Posted by TaliciaDragonsong
@Devil240Z: At least make your plans known.
Sit down together and look at what must be done, who can do what and what the consequences are.
I'm sure you two can pick it up but this is the sort of thing that can end bad.
My sister lives on her own and she studied at university while also working friday night and weekends, just to be able to pay her house.
Its not easy, fuck its terrifying, but its all you can do.
Posted by pantzing_nome

Have you touched her shoulder?

Posted by artofwar420

In life seldom do things go 100% as we planned them. At least mentally be prepared for that, and have fun.

Do what Nanako-chan does, and enjoy every minute as if it was your last because your dad might beat the living crap out of you for spilling his coffee.