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Devil240Z

Jerks

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I know what I should do, But I do what I have to.

Catchy title ne?

Anyway, This topic is about life's little curveballs that it likes to throw at you. Basically, I just got this new job. I have a few things I need to pay off and such. but I also have to save up money before the mid point of september to get an apartment with my girlfriend. Which I want to do more than anything. But, I feel like everything is happening so fast and out of my control. She has to take a few more credits to graduate from college. Its too late for her to get another student loan to pay for her to stay in the dorms. So we HAVE to get an apartment together. obviously hindsight is 20/20. If I could make it so, she would stay in the dorms and I would continue to live with my father until she got the last few credits she needs for her degree and I would save as much money as I could in the mean time. at wich point we could get our own place. But thats not possible.

I don't even know if this new job is gonna work out yet. I mean I think I can make it work. But I don't know. I'm the kind of person who likes to be 100% sure before I make a decision about something. and the fact of the matter is if She cant get a job while shes also busy being a student and also doesn't even have a drivers license or a car, I have to provide most if not all of the cash needed to sustain us. And I cant even be sure that I'm going to get the hours needed at work to make that kind of money.

I think that if I'm lucky I can make enough to keep a roof over our heads, but what if my car breaks down? What will I do? I have to get to work to get money.

I love her, but I don't know if we are prepared for what is about to happen in our lives.

I blame my dad for some of this shit. I mean he threatens to kick me out constantly. I'm on the defensive, Ive been preparing to move out the best I can but all this other shit is happening at the same time. If I just had a little more time to save up and prepare it would be ok.

If she gets a job we might be okay, she cant even start applying for jobs until after we get an apartment because she lives in another city and has to commute by bus, it just seems like such a longshot to me.

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