Something went wrong. Try again later

Hailinel

I wrote this little thing (it's not actually a little thing): http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/hailinel/blog/lightning-returns-wha...

25785 219681 175 480
Forum Posts Wiki Points Following Followers

Legitimate Wiki Pages That Would Give Certain Users Heartburn

Double-jumping Power-ups Abilitease.  These are just some of the concepts common to video games that are widely accepted.  But what of those concepts that aren't?  Those concepts that, while nonetheless valid, would cause some users to, for lack of better phrasing, freak the fuck out and think they were on Anime Vice or some shit?  Strange, and sometimes perverted concepts that are nonetheless a part of mainstream titles from well-known publishers?  Well, this is Giant Bomb, and these are the wiki pages that you should consider before you go jumping around claiming how perverted the website's Whiskey Media sisters are.

List items

  • Yeah, it's gross. But it's out there. Titles notable for its inclusion: Drakengard, House of the Dead: Overkill

  • Yes, yes, yes. RapeLay, Battle Raper, shut up. You ever play F.E.A.R. 2? Awesome game, right? Then Alma does things to you that would put most men in need of counseling for years.

  • Yep, that hypnotic jiggle brought to you by women who could probably stand to have better support. It's in more games than I could possibly ever count.

  • Dude, you just posted in a thread asking why you can't get in bed with Bethany in Dragon Age II. You really don't have any room to criticize people that watch hentai. (Also, you can't bang Bethany because she's your character's sister. The fuck is wrong with you, man?)

  • Ah, yes. The sexy librarian. One of a number of sexual fantasies that cast a woman in a particular archetype. Also fits Quistis from Final Fantasy VIII and Bayonetta to a tee. This page's existence makes me surprised that there aren't more like it on the wiki. (French Maid wikipage, anyone?)

  • Ah, Mara. A popular demon in the Shin Megami Tensei series. But why? Is it that awesome golden chariot he rides? That large, gaping mouth?

  • Yeah, and as for Arioch, another Shin Megami Tensei demon?

  • That's right, ladies and gents. A wiki page dedicated to the act of simulating the application of your balls on a defeated opponent. If there are assholes playing FPS titles online, there is tea-bagging.

  • Furries, yo. Anthropomorphic animals are in more games than I could possibly count.

  • Very, very wrong. And just like incest, Drakengard represents this concept with a character who, well...loves children far too much in far too wrong a way.

  • And on the other end of the spectrum, we have the act of murdering children. Once again, Drakengard is represented with an elven serial child killer. (Duder, there are a lot of screwed up characters in that game.) But we also can't forget Fallout, which freely allows the player to murder children, so long as they're willing to put up with every single other character in the game now out for their blood in retribution. Fantastic.