By HS21 247 Comments
New guy is new to the forums. He says that he's been watching all the Giant Bomb videos and the Endurance Runs since day one, but he's only now made an account. His first blog tells us something to the effect of: "Hey guys, this is my first blog here on Giant Bomb. I don't really have much to write now, but I hope I can post some more blogs in the future and I look forward to being a part of the community here!" That was his first and last blog post. Oh and I think he reviewed some XBLA game, he gave it three stars, you don't care.
Life as he knows it, sucks. There's nothing to look forward to and his past is a scattered collection of painful memories, missed opportunities and regrets. He does what anyone in his position would do, go to a video game forum and share his excruciatingly personal stories with the Giant Bomb forumites. To the outside observer, this would seem utterly pointless and is quite possibly a cry for help. The outside observer is correct. Unfortunately for him, nine times out of ten, instead of being greeted with genuinely useful advice or a kind word, he's met with the next Giant Bomb forum personality...
Cool Story, Bro....Guy
He's just clicked on a thread in the forum. He reads the contents of said thread and puts his hand to his chin. Unable to think of anything even remotely worth saying he does what he's always done best. He responds with his favourite three word retort "Cool story, bro". What has he accomplished by doing this? Nothing. It wasn't funny or amusing in the least, no one thinks that he's funny or amusing in the least, and he's wasted everyone's time. He'll do it again though.
I Flagged Your Post Guy
You've written a post or a blog on the forum which may or may not deserve being flagged. Here comes 'I Flagged Your Post' guy. Not content with simply flagging your post and moving on, for some reason he feels compelled to tell you that he did, usually with a post consisting of one word, "Flagged". What does this accomplish? Absolutely nothing, but he wants to rub your nose in it anyway. He's the oil that keeps the gears of the forums moving. Without him the Giant Bomb forums would grind to a halt and decay into a mess of trolls and racists running amok unopposed. Except that this isn't true, but hey he thinks it is.
Not so secretly a girl.
She just wants to be treated like one of the guys. She doesn't want any special attention and she most certainly does not like the fact that her inbox is filling up with creepy PMs from people she doesn't know. Or at least that's what she says. One has to wonder, if she's getting so much unwanted attention, why doesn't she just change her profile picture? Why did she pick a username like "GurlGamer<3" and why does her picture gallery look like Facebook. It just seems weird that for someone wanting to remain incognito, she sure does preface all her posts with "Well as a girl..." a lot.
Smart girl that blends in with the rest of the community because she's not starved for attention.