By HS21 49 Comments
Can anything remove this man's smile?
Can anything remove this man's smile?
Hey I'm Chad. We just met and by 'met' I mean your eyes serendipitously wandered down into the comments section of a video or article on the internet and you've read a blurb I wrote detailing my thoughts and feelings about said video or article. What luck! Now you know how I feel about this reboot of an old PC game franchise turned FPS or the remake of a little known cult 70s horror film! I'm a pretty big fan of the older stuff, I just wish people would leave that stuff alone. Wouldn't we all be better off if people didn't try to tamper with the classics and get their grubby hands of change on things? Advancements in medicine? Pshh, who needs it? What's wrong with the 'ol stand by of chicken soup and illness sucking leeches? Oh man the automobile? No thanks, I'll just use these getaway sticks called legs, they've never failed me before except for that time when I fell out of a tree peepin' on the widow next door. But I'm losing the plot here, let me find it again.
If you're going to read someone's comment on the internet it should be mine. My opinions are unique and fresh and I have many facets to my comment writing. Here, let me show you using this article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4748292.stm
Ungh, the dowry he had to pay was only $50? The goat must not have been a good fuck. Totally not worth getting caught and being forced to marry it. He should have fucked a gazelle, something with class. Lame.
That is THE WORST THING EVER that this guy would engage in coitus with a goat. But it sure is THE BEST THING, LIKE, EVER that he was forced to marry the goat. *Nervous laugh/facial twitch/forced reference to Nic Cage*
Wow, it is a human being's RIGHT to force him or herself on an animal. Love works in mysterious ways, and sometimes one of those ways is goat fucking. Just leave him alone please, let him be happy. Stop demonizing this goat rapist you vultures.
Dude fucked that goat and got caught and was forced to marry the goat he raped? So what? Who cares? I don't. Did Prometheus come out yet? Whatever.
Oh man, that's pretty crazy. Reminds me of this one time during a family reunion about 3 years ago, it was time for dinner and everyone was at the table except for my uncle. We were all looking for him and then we heard these weird yelping noises from the barn. My cousin Jebediah made a joke about my uncle being a sick, dirty goat fucker. Turns out it was just my little sister Debbie lighting a Furbie on fire. Hahahahahaha, oh man.
That's pretty crazy. Did you guys know that In many jurisdictions, all forms of zoophilic acts are prohibited? Others outlaw only the mistreatment of animals, without specific mention of sexual activity. In some countries, such as Denmark, bestiality is not outlawed. It is currently illegal in Canada, Netherlands, 34 U.S. states, Australia, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Turkey and Ghana. In the UK, Section 63 of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 (also known as the Extreme Pornography Act) outlaws images of a person performing or appearing to perform an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal (whether dead or alive). Countries such as Belgium, Germany, and Russia are somewhere in between: they permit sexual activity with animals, but prohibit the promotion of animal-oriented pornography.
Fuck you man, no one cares. Gawd. I'm so mad about something so inconsequential. Arghhhh. Anyways, I too have no input on this article.
Those are just a few approaches to comment crafting that I've got going on at the moment. I'm working on a few new techniques that I just can't wait for you to read on the next article about something as world shatteringly important as video game "news" or the announcement of a new film. Make sure to @reply my comments! I get this delightful redirection of blood to my phallic vessel whenever a stranger on the internet has read my shit, and shit it certainly is.
Hey guys, I've been having some relationship troubles recently and decided that I would ask complete strangers on the internet for advice because I don't have any close friends that I can talk to about it. Actually my problem has nothing to do with a relationship, its the lack thereof. But now I've even more distraught and hurt than when I got rejected. When I took my issues to an internet forum I did not receive any help at all. No advice, no words of wisdom, no strategy that culminated in a public performance of an acoustic Coldplay song sung in public that would surely win the heart of the girl I pined for. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, nil. Instead, the only thing I received was mockery. Insults and harsh words were shoveled onto me adding on to the weight of the heartbreak that I had already been carrying for the last 3 years (I've been in love with this girl for 3 years btw). I was shocked and appalled. I was kicked when I was down and salt was poured on my wounds. I guess I was foolish for expecting better from a community more concerned about the score for a shitty block climbing puzzle game.
Anyways, here is a screenshot of my relationship advice thread:
Never tell your password to anyone.
Use your keyboard!
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