It's a very surreal and sad feeling to lose someone like Ryan. I'm sure, like many of you, some of my friends wouldn't understand why I would be this sad. But following his online presence like I did made me a huge fan of his work, as well as make me feel like I knew him somewhat. In so far as you can know a person through a one sided relationship like Giant Bomb.

I've never been very active on the site, as forums aren't really my jam, but I've been here almost since the very beginning in 2008. I remember the old blog style of the site and watching their how to build a bomb videos and I knew I was hooked. Ryan and the rest of the bomb crew have provided me countless hours of entertainment, on Giant Bomb and throughout the rest of the internet.

I had so hoped to meet Ryan next year. I had wanted to go to PAX prime this August but funds were tight so I couldn't justify the trip across North America. I resolved to attend either PAX east or PAX prime the following year so I could meet the whole team. I especially wanted to meet Ryan to share (what I felt to be) a fun anecdote. Despite having only ordered one China Don't Care shirt, due to some confusing exchanges and some impatience on my part, I received 3 copies for the price of one. I wanted to get Ryan to sign at least one of them. I figured he could appreciate a funny story like that, or at the very least call me an asshole for having ripped Giant Bomb and their clothing provider off.

I'm feeling pretty bummed out here, and I can't even begin to imagine how those close to him feel. I've seen wonderful outpourings of feelings from those in the community, and those who knew him more personally and I can finally understand why I found myself over the years trying to be more like people from Giant Bomb. If I could affect people the way Ryan did, that would be amazing.

So my thoughts, and more importantly my prayers go out to the rest of the Giant Bomb staff, to Anna, to his family, and all of his friends.

We lost someone important to us.

Love you, Ryan.