This is an ongoing list where I attempt to do the following: Play, Complete, and Rank every video game in the known universe in order to finally answer the age old question "What is the greatest game of all time?" For previous entries find the links on the attached spreadsheet.

How did I do?

I came into this game with incredibly low expectations. It wasn’t because I had heard bad things, or that it was a developer that is known for putting out bad games, but because of my own dumb brain. See, I reviewed the first Shantae game back 100 years ago, and that was a re-release/re-make of the original game. The game itself was fine, and had some good ideas, but I questioned how such a rabid fan base can be borne from such a game. I mean don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate my first foray into the Shantae series, but it would have been a late release for the Game Boy Color that we can just admit that not a lot of people played, and review scores were between 7 and 8s, so we aren’t talking about the world’s next Mario, Sonic, or Matt Hazard. See, I believed in my heart of hearts that all the love for this game was almost solely from people who liked to ogle the sexy ladies that exist in the game. The comments the community made from my write-up from the first game educated me in both how the games get better (gameplay wise) and how the people at wayforward maybe lean even more into the “aren’t these ladies sexy” vibe. Turns out that I should listen to the community… they might know what they are talking about.

Obviously we will talk about this game in depth, but the community nailed it in both regards. Shantae and the Seven Sirens plays surprisingly well. At it’s heart it is still that Metroid-vania/Zelda game where you have a semi-open world that has areas blocked off until you learn a new ability, and once you get that ability can traverse more. And it is also a game that has a heavy investment in the female form. Every conversation scene, every cut-scene, and nearly every girl (excluding the kids and elderly) makes sure to show you exactly what she is working with. I started the game planning on tracking how many times a pair of breasts were a prominent fixture in a scene, and lost count like an hour into the game. It never crosses the line to become something more adult, but it certainly isn’t going to dispel any of my beliefs that this game gained popularity because people are horny. However, lets focus on the actual gameplay.

So Shantae and the Seven Sirens starts with you and other genies being whisked away to an island to put on a genie show, or something to that degree. During the night of the show all the other genies get kidnapped and it is up to you to find them. So, you start exploring the Island, which has a vast underground network in an effort to find any of the other genies. As you explore the island you will slowly start filling out the map as well as coming across areas you can’t quite traverse yet, like pools of water, or big sand traps, or even tall walls. Eventually if you explore enough you will come across a dungeon where one of the genies are being held. Each genie that you eventually end up rescuing will grant you a power that addresses one of these obstacles, and allow you to explore even more of the map. Of course as you explore you will come across heart pickups (heart octopi), or golden nuggets (special currency), and/or the next dungeon to do it all again. In addition, you find save points or teleport rooms scattered around while you are exploring. Teleport rooms are fairly obvious as to what they do, as they will allow you to warp to other teleport rooms, allowing a quick travel way to get from one end of the map to the other, while save rooms, act as not only a spot to stop and save your game, but a checkpoint in case you die.

Most of your minute to minute gameplay is guiding Shantae through these screens and navigating the maze to find your next area of interest. Shantae is equipped with a hair whip that can be upgraded to do more damage and/or attack quicker, and then you can purchase essentially a magic power that can be used as long as you have magic meter. Something to note is that the enemies littered throughout the island are not all dispatched by a single attack and in some instances can block and charge through your attack. While this isn’t Dark Souls, it will pay to learn the attack pattern of certain enemies as Shantae starts off rather weak in this game in terms of how many hits she can take. In fact one of the early frustrating aspects of this game is that enemies damage amounts can seem unfair in the beginning of the game. Some enemies might only hit you for a 4^th or ½ of a heart which seems about on-par with what you would expect, but then you will come across a seemingly normal enemy that in a single hit can take out two full hearts. This wouldn’t be so bad, if it wasn’t the type of game that starts you with only 3 hearts to begin with. At first you might believe that you are in the wrong area (an area later designed for after you have powered up more), but since areas are only gated by the powers you have, presumably if you can explore the room, you are meant to be in the room.

One of my biggest hangups with the game is that the difficulty curve is very poorly balanced in this game. In the early stages, when you are just starting off and trying to save your money for upgrades that make you a stronger person, the game can be somewhat difficult. I struggled with the games first boss (A sexy plant lady), because I needed to play the fight almost flawlessly because I had so few hearts and no healing items. Sure, I could have abandoned where I was in the dungeon and bought healing items, or grind for gems to purchase them, but I was stubborn and refused. However, the farther into the game you get, the easier the whole game is. Eventually you purchase all the upgrades you want, and there is nothing left to spend money on outside of potions. So I would have a max number of recovery potions that would auto-consume when I ran out of hearts. While similar games like this are designed so that you can feel more powerful as you go throughout the game, trouncing earlier enemies with ease, this game went too far in that direction. I could fight the last boss or second to last boss, refusing to dodge any attacks because I knew I had more hearts and potions then they could do anything with. Combine that with a special spell/dance that can refill hearts and you might never need to dodge again.

While you can eventually walk through the enemies, the game does give you a reason to fight them even upon repeated visits. Outside of hoping for money or heart drops, enemies can sometimes drop food (an item to be used later for refilling health) or special cards. Shantae can equip three of these cards at a time which can also help her power-up in different ways. Now this was a mechanic I was initially very interested in, as every enemy variant you come across can drop a card of itself, and I was determined to collect them all or at least see them all, so that I could spec Shantae exactly how I wanted, but like much of this game, you quickly outgrow these cards as the best ones are ones you can only exclusively pay golden nuggets for (special limited currency that is found). Since the limit you can equip always stays at three from the start of the game to the end, buying one or two of these special cards really limits what else you will equip. To level set, some cards will be something as simple as “Shantae can crawl faster” or “item X does 2x damage now.” A mechanic that I thought I would be switching on the fly depending on the area or boss that I was facing, ended up being me finding 3 serviceable cards and only switching them out when I bought a new special one.

I ended up only finishing in the 70% percentile for total completion rate for this game, simply because I no longer needed to look for heart container pieces, or try to farm cards out of enemies because the game gave very little reason to do so. Is it possible that I missed a cool ability from a card, almost certainly, but unless it was a card that made the game more difficult it wouldn't have impacted how I played the game.

If I give Shantae credit for anything though, it is that the world is bright and colorful and overall a joy to explore. When I first started I loved seeing all the special interactable areas that I would need to come back for, or the different biomes in the caves. I would get excited over a new power and think about all the areas I can now explore. I delight in games when I find stuff tucked away or hidden from view, I always feel like I outsmarted the game in some way, even though it was designed to be there for a reason. That anticipation however starts to die when, like the first game, you realize that the powers don’t actually reveal much besides potential shortcuts and the next area you are supposed to be in. That doesn’t take away from the colorful and vibrant world, but as the boundless possibilities eventually give way to reality, it makes it feel slightly shallow.

I don’t want to come off being too negative on the game, because there is a lot to like. The game feels good to play, Shantae’s attack is responsive, her jump doesn’t feel floaty. There is a decent variety of enemies that aren’t just palette swaps of earlier enemies. The map is also the perfect size, as it seems crazy big when you are first starting to explore everything, but then when you open up teleporters and fully flesh it out, seem like it is rides the line without seeming too cramped or expansive. I also talked about the overall aesthetic to the game being bright and shiny, it caught the eyes of my children if they saw me playing it on the TV and were immediately sucked in. When you get the ability to use different abilities or do different dances, it is all really simple controls that makes traversing the world nice and easy. All of my complaints are really focused on the difficulty curve being non-existent, the exploration holding more promise then actual results, and the overt sexualization of characters that all seem like teenagers. This is a better game than the original, and has changed my mindset that maybe this series can be fun to play, even if I might feel the need to hide these games from the shelf if friends came over. Overall, I think both Shantae games exist in a weird in-between world where they are easier than I would want them to be, but not quite kid-friendly enough (not just in the bewbs, but in the navigation of the map and knowing when to use abilities) that I would put this in front of my five year old to play.

Is this the greatest game of all time?: No

Where does it rank: This game actually has a relatively good showing being ~20 spots better then the first Shantae game. Nearly everything has improved over that core game, but I still wish the world had more to discover and I certainly wish there was a difficulty curve so the last 1/2 of the game didn't feel like I had turned on cheats. While I hope to be proven wrong, from what I have heard, I feel that all the "newer" Shantae games will fall into these same positives and negatives. They will be good but not great games. I have this ranked as the 74th Greatest Video Game of all time. It sits between Guacamelee (75th) and Captain Toad Treasure Tracker (73rd). For reference the original Shantae is now 95th out of 169 total reviewed games.

Anyone looking for it: here is the link to the list and more if you are interested in following along with me (this is not a self promotion).Here. I added links on the spreadsheet for quick navigation. Now if you missed a blog of a game you want to read about, you can get to it quickly, rather than having to scroll through my previous blogs wondering when it came up.

Thanks for listening

Future games coming up 1) Tinykin 2) The Dig 3) Vampire Survivors