Top Gaming Cliches!
By MissMorphine 8 Comments
Game design must be super, super hard. What else can explain the number of shortcuts being taken in almost every one? Genres are repeated, environments are recycled and storylines all begin to sound the same.
Most copied, however, are the characters. Dreaming up an entirely new personality with entirely new traits is a daunting task, so the majority of folks you meet in games end up feeling identical to the folks you met in previous games. If they don't look alike, they act alike. If they don't act alike, they at least talk alike. The only things that change are the name and the background. Maybe.
The Half Naked Woman
Description: Behold the most shameless - and least surprising - character cliché of all time. Yes, in the fictional worlds of gaming, clothing is apparently in short supply and temperatures are clearly scorching. Why else would 99% of the women - from spies, ninjas, vampires and sorcerers to reporters, golfers, mechanics, archeologists and high school students - choose to dress up like a bunch of Las Vegas strippers?
Common characteristics:
*Skin.
*Skin.
*More skin.
*Um, some other stuff like a weapon... or a face... i think?
The Stereotypical Black Guy
Common characteristics:
*Bulging, almost inhuman arms with biceps the size of basketballs and veins the size of garden hoses.
*Absolutely no sleeves. Tear off by hand if necessary.
*Fists clenched and ready at all times.
*Deep bass voice that speaks primarily in slang or swear words.
*Tattoos, of course.
*Chains, of course.
The Mistery Masked Man
Common characteristics:
*Cool reflective visor. Check out that sun flare effect!
*Breathing apparatus for badass robot voice.
*Equally - and unrealistically - constrictive suit to match the hat. Gloves, chest plates and bulky shoulder pads a must; spandex and backpack optional.
*Random bolts, pipes, tubes and glow-y bits.
*Strategically placed dents, scratches and cracks (for extra manliness).
*Horribly scarred (possibly shy) human within. Or is there???
Pure Hearted love interest
Common characteristics:
*One dainty hand held to the chest or shoulder in a gesture of reserved humility. "Oh! Me? You think I'm pretty? Tee hee."
*Hair pulled back in a demure braid, held in place by a jeweled crown or blown ever so gently by the warm spring breeze.
*Innocent face turned up - towards heaven, of course.
*Eyes (preferably blue) gazing wistfully into the distance, waiting for a flash of shining armor.
*Shoulders either bare (but that's all you're gonna get, buster!) or covered in billowy blouse sleeves.
*Occasionally followed by inexplicable showers of falling flower petals.
The Brooding Pretty Boy
Common characteristics:
*Pensive expression, with eyes cast downward in deep and oh-so-very-important thought.
*The slightest of frowns. Is he angry? Hurt? Or just getting a widdle sweepy?
*Elaborately coiffed hair that wouldn't look out of place in a modern art museum (preferably silver, yellow or blue).
*Desperate attention seeking through flamboyant and unnecessary accessories like capes, cloaks, feathers, ruffles, upturned collars, metal jewelry and oversized zippers.
*A ridiculously large weapon to overcompensate for all of the above