By Overbite 147 Comments
HUGE SPOILERS LOOK OUT!!!!! I AM GOING TO SPOIL ME3.
I AIN'T JOKING! DAMN!
Mass Effect 3 is going to suck and that's no mistake. Here's a whole bunch of reasons why.
- Lack of choices, and the choices that you made are retconned right the fuck out. Killed the Rachni Queen? Well they're back because clones or something. Put Anderson on the council? He resigns and Udina takes his place. Saved the original council? Well they all leave anyway and are replaced with an all-human council. Nothing you did in the original 2 games matter, aside from who died in the last part of 2.
- Stupid fucking romance bullshit. Bioware is pandering to the idiots on their forums who care more about who Shepard can fuck than anything else, and not only that they are spreading it to other characters! If you don't romance Tali or Garrus they both get together for some reason. Joker gets EDI put into a robot body so he can have sex with her. Why? Because Bioware. Also, Bioware is making a huge fuss about how SHEPARD CAN NOW BE GAY AND THE GAY PARTS ARE AWESOME you better be gay because if not you will totally be missing out. GAY. You know what, great, if you want to include gay characters that's fine. You don't really need to make it a huge issue.
- It's Origin only for the PC version. I won't go into the huge ORIGIN SUCKS rant (it totally does) but the reason it's on Origin is because "Steam has adopted a set of restrictive terms of service which limit how developers interact with customers to deliver patches and other downloadable content. We are intent on providing Mass Effect to players with the best possible experience no matter where they purchase or play their game, and are happy to partner with any download service that does not restrict our ability to connect directly with our consumers." In other words, Steam is too restrictive in how it lets developers release DLC and patches. Oh by the way, you can only get DLC through the Bioware store and you have to use Bioware points to do it. That's not restrictive at all!
- Lame faux-heroic ending. The reapers are out to wipe out the galaxy for fuel or whatever it is they do. This is what they do. But not this time because apparently Shepard has to just sacrifice him/herself to the reapers and because Shepard is the strongest thing in the galaxy (what) the reapers are like "This is good enough" and leave.
- It's still a mediocre RPG and mediocre 3rd person cover shooter. They say the RPG mechanics have been improved but knowing Bioware that means they just took them out.
- Tacked on multiplayer, because everything has to have multiplayer. And so they can charge $10 for the online pass if you buy it used.
- Hey lets sex up the existing characters!
Now I was a big fan of the first Mass Effect. It had it's issues but overall it was pretty fun. I didn't like Mass Effect 2 as much because instead of improving the bad parts of 1, they just took them out. I am not a fan of the romance in the game because it's so poorly written and the characters are so bad it's just stupid. It makes me sad to see Bioware pandering to the people on their forums who only care about the romance. Go look at the forums, they have sig tags that say what their choice in romance is going to be.
Mass Effect 3 is totally going to get GOTY 2012, calling it now.