Does this happen to you?

During the past two/three months I've installed and played a couple of hours of like 10 different games of my favorites, and it's just one whim after the other, I can't stick to one and satisfy myself, I keep looking for a past rush of immersion and wonder and the games are piling up! I feel like a pregnant woman driven by hormones here..

It started with Alan Wake. I really wanted to lose myself in the perfect and entrancing Twin Peaks game again. An hour or two into it, I messed with the free cam feature of the PC version and flew around the map, and I just felt meh and closed it. Then I played like 80% of Uncharted 2 in one day, and haven't touched it since. Installed The Saboteur and was dying to play it because last time I did it was on my previous PC which wasn't strong enough to max it out.. Did the first mission and closed it. Far Cry 3, snuck out of the camp at the beginning then closed it.

Then I spent 2 weeks playing Assassin's Creed 2 several hours a day, taking my time with it (my favorite AC).. I'm almost done with Venice and I haven't touched it ever since. When the new Game of Thrones season started, I was dying to jump back into The Witcher 2.. Installed it and the patches, maxed it out, played 5 minutes and closed it. Spent the last week playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare occasionally, and I stopped after All Ghillied Up and don't see myself firing it up again.

Last but not least, I decided to start a new character in Skyrim (had one char since day 1 - 270 hours - haven't touched it in a few months). What excited me was finally the determination to apply ENB mods.. After ah hour of work, the ENB mod (which worked flawlessly) dropped the FPS to 25. Haven't touched the game since.

Now I'm craving a dedicated run in Red Dead Redemption, but I KNOW it won't feel the same as the first time and I'll be bored by the mechanics and repetitive missions. The inferior visuals and loading times will turn me off for sure, and I hate shooting with the f* controller.

I think this is a combination of the fact that I try to deny that I have depression rotting my heart that I need help with, and the fact that I no longer buy or play new games because their gameplay and interactive designs have not been evolved or worked on for a while now.. They dazzle hypesters with stories and visuals, while transferring the same gameplay schematics and designs from one sequel to the next.. I'm tired of gameplay not being taken to the next level. So all I have is these older games.

Does this happen to you and if so, why is that?

24 years old, second year student.

Disclaimer: My life (school, work, family) is great, I'm thankful everyday for basically having a guaranteed life. I have a set of skills and a personality that I know will get me a great career. I'm head-strong and I don't lose sleep over what I'm about to describe. My life is going according to plan. I fix all of my problems. Except for one.

My problem is that I'm a complete alien when it comes to sustaining human relationships. I'm great at making friends, I'm funny, knowledgeable, opinionated, and rather handsome. But after I make these friends, I drift out of their lives just as I drifted in. Instead of COLLECTING my life's experiences and acquaintances into a ladder that promotes and elevates me socially into a more experienced young man every day, with friendships growing stronger, I enjoy these brief experiences separately until they fade away, and then I wonder where the fuck they went.

I describe myself with one word: Reset. I had so many points in life where I was surrounded with good people, had great weed sessions, went to Budapest with over 30 colleagues, etc... But after each one of those points, I reset myself into a lonely student studying. Time and time again.

The reason is my inability to differentiate between being perceived as overly attached/nagging/imposing, and simply being friends with people, calling them and joking with them. Therefore I always end up being an indifferent stranger who does not keep in touch. In fear of exposing the contents of my heart and being seen as overly-open or too imposing or overly-attached, I become an acquaintance that your relationship with does not go anywhere.

My perception of the 'social cool' and 'social image' is just so off and so exaggerated that I end up behaving in the way that makes me look like I'm not interested in anything other than mere small talk. Problem is, when I DO pass the small talk barrier, I get into weird zones of conversation and turn people off. I dunno how to walk the line between the two. I don't expose my weaknesses because I can't tell which weaknesses are OK and make me humane, and which weaknesses are "too much information" and will make you consider me a bitch.

My blessings are my curse. The fact that I have a clean trauma-free past makes me an alien within people most of whom have had scars they're hiding. The fact that I have literally zero insecurities makes people dislike me, as if I'm hiding something or wearing a fake smile hiding evil inside. I'm the movie character who has nothing to lose and nothing to hide - you dig up dirt on him and you find nothing. This makes me suspicious and un-relatable. I'm so sterile and clean-cut and transparent that people find me extremely uninteresting.

If people were adventurous quad-bike riders who wake up every day to conquer crazy terrain (meeting other exciting people) and live to tell these stories, I am a completely straight and clean highway, my asphalt is sturdy and my lines are clear, there's no thrill here for you, you just drive forward.

I no longer want to go out and try to make friends because I don't need more former-brief-friends whom I only smile and nod at today - they're multiplying like rabbits. I need someone to talk to..

If you read this, I thank you. If not, I understand.