CZARMANIA!!!
By Snipzor 3 Comments
Damn those radical communists, how dare they use the word Czar as a nickname... seriously. Welcome to part one of the correction of right rage, or rather the official title of "CORR" (Yeah, I got nothin'). Today I shall bring a list of "czars" along with their full title in job description format. You ready? Here we go!
[NOTE: This list was obtained by a nutbag blog entitled "Investigating Obama" in order to save a few minutes. Believe me, I'll need it for later. Also note, the editorials next to the names are not mine. List obtained is under the fair use clause for criticism and commentary as I shall do shortly after the list]
- Afghanistan-Pakistan (Af-Pak) czar, Richard Holbrooke
- AIDS czar, Jeffrey Crowley [openly gay white man]
- Auto recovery czar, Ed Montgomery
- Behavioral science czar, position not yet filled
- Bailout czar, Herbert Allison Jr., [replaced Bush bailout czar Neel Kashkari, Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Financial Stability confirmed by Senate]
- Border czar, Alan Bersin
- Car czar, Ron Bloom [Counselor to the Secretary of the Treasury , under Senate oversight]
- Climate change czar, Todd Stern
- Copyright czar, not appointed yet
- Counterterrorism czar, John Brennan
- Cybersecurity czar, position will be vacant on August 21st [upon the departure of Melissa Hathaway]
- Disinformation czar, Linda Douglass [This is a new media buzz since our earlier list, a response by pundits to the White House request for informants: see Glenn Beck and Lew Rockwell]
- Domestic violence czar, Lynn Rosenthal
- Drug czar, Gil Kerlikowske
- Economic czar, Larry Summers
- Economic czar number two, Paul Volcker
- Education czar, Arne Duncan
- Energy czar, Carol Browner
- Food czar, Michael Taylor [a former Monsanto executive, or, the fox in charge of the henhouse]
EEEK, this sounds scary! Although, it isn't. Here's a fun fact, the term "Czar" nowadays is a political colloquialism to save time in giving the full title. Seriously, some of the full titles for these guys are massive, like "border czar", but I promised to give a list of their full job titles, because in reality none of this above me is true in any way. Except for God Czar, if you had the choice of that as a title, you would take it right away. God Czar, damn, that's badass.
01. United States Special Envoy to Afghanistan and Pakistan; Richard Holbrooke
02. Office of National AIDS Policy; Jeffrey Crowley
03. Director of Recovery for Auto Communities and Workers; Edward B. Montgomery
04. Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Financial Stability; Herbert M. Allison
05. Department of Homeland Security Assistant Secretary for International Affairs and Special Representative for Border Affairs; Alan Bersin
06. Senior Counselor to the US President for Manufacturing Policy; Ron Bloom
07. Special Envoy for Climate Change, Todd Stern
08. Director of the Central Intelligence Agency; John O. Brennan
09. Director of Communications; Linda Douglass
10. White House Advisor On Violence Against Women; Lynn Rosenthal
11. Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy; Gil Kerlikowske
12. Director of the Nationa Economic Council; Lawrence Summers
13. 1st Chair of the President's Economic Recovery Advisory Board; Paul Volcker
14. United States Secretary of Education; Arne Duncan
15. Director of the White House Office of Energy and Climate Change Policy
16. Director of the Food and Drug Administration; Michael Taylor
17. 1st Chief Performance Officer of the United States; Jeffrey Zients
18. Special Advisor to the United States Environmental Protection Agency; Cameron Davis
19. Special Advisor for the White House Council On Environmental Policy; (former) Van Jones
20. Special Envoy to Guantanamo; Daniel Fried
21. Director of the White House Office of Healthcare Reform; Nancy-Ann DeParle
22. United States Chief Information Officer; Vivek Kundra
23. 3rd Director of National Intelligence; Dennis C. Blair
24. Assistant Secretary of State for Western Hemisphere Affairs; Arturo Valenzuela
25. United States Special Envoy for the Middle East; George J. Mitchell
26. Special Advisor for the Persian Gulf and Southwest Asia; Dennis Ross
27. Special Master for TARP Executive Compensation; Kenneth Feinberg
28. Director of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs; Cass Sunstein
29. Director of the Office of Faith Based and Neighborhood Partnerships; Joshua Dubois
30. Assistant Deputy Secretary to the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools; Kevin Jennings *Editorial at bottom*
31. Inspector General for the United States Department of the Interior; Earl Devaney
32. Director of the Office of Science and Technology Policy; John Holdren
33. Chair of the Congressional Oversighn Panel; Elizabeth Warren
34. Chief Technology Officer of the United States; Aneesh Chopra
35. United States Special Envoy to Sudan; Scott Gration
36. United States Trade Representative; Ron Kirk
37. Director of the White House Office of Urban Affairs Policy; Adolfo Carrión
38. Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor for Iraq and Afghanistan; Douglas Lute
39. Deputy Secretary of the Interior; David J. Hayes
40. Under Secretary of Defense for Acquisition, Technology and Logistics; Ashton Carter
41. White House Coordinator for Arms Control and Weapons of Mass Destruction, Proliferation and Terrorism; Gary Samore
I'm missing three, because they are not confirmed. But I ask of you, are you still scared about these guys? No, of course not, and you most likely were not scared of them because you knew that the complaints about Czars were from people who don't know the lingo. Next time you hear about people complaining about Czars, send them here. Because I like the traffic, but also because this is reader friendly. Oh yeah, and when it comes to balls in the White House, there are only a few people left with them. Elizabeth Warren is one of them, but Kevin Jennings is another. If you read up on this guy, you would realize that he deserves the job he is getting. He knows his shit, and isn't afraid to call people out who do not know their shit.
This has been Snipzor, and I seriously want the title of God Czar right now and so do you. Good day.