I don't really write blog posts as often as I once did, and I believe there is a reason for that. College was a really big transition in my life and I think I've finally adjusted. Looking on the other side of the glass now, college is really liberating because I finally achieved that level of freedom I only dreamed about when I was a sophomore/junior/senior and I really like that self managing aspect of life. In high school and even in middle school, everything felt too oppressive and spoon fed to me. I've always been an independent and introverted person, and now is when that personality trait finally becomes useful in the big scheme of things. Right now, I have a job I enjoy, I'm going to college with an end goal in mind, and I keep in contact with older friends I want to keep in contact with while cultivating new relationships and watching them grow. I've achieved a healthy balance in life and I don't want to mess it up, which is a good place to be.

For instance, this community, Giant Bomb, is an incredibly beautiful place. All of the videos, all of the podcasts and all of the articles made here are something I resonate with and place a high value on and now I have enough responsibility to gain the disposable income needed to donate around $50 to $60 dollars a year to and support a site and a community I love and care about. As a 13 year old, that was not even a remote possibility. Which brings me to the point of this post.

The reason I wrote a blog through out high school was because I felt shut off to the rest of the world. For about two years, my only connection to people that lived outside of the horrible and shitty high school paradigm was a 700 to 1000 word blog post that went up on a generic WordPress hosted domain site roughly about once a week. Now that I'm at a place where I don't feel like I'm being treated as a kid any more, I don't need that outlet anymore.

On the first day of my English class my professor said something that I felt deeply in my gut was true but didn't quite knew how to articulate until then which was, people who just write their "thoughts" are assholes. Everything has a point, whether you know it or not so writing aimlessly is near impossible. Pure thoughts are filtered so much to fit the societal norms everyone abides by, so by the time your 'thoughts' come out of your mouth, their edited so much that they barely reflect their original intention. Adding another medium to that distillation process in pen and paper only further distorts the point of your honest to god "thoughts."

I exploited that process so much in high school, that I'd feel like a hack if I even attempted to so today, so I won't. It's time to make the point of my creative processes clear, no matter what project it is that I'm working on. Which brings me to the future. I've wanted to make games for so long now that it's finally time to do something about it. I have an Evernote notebook dedicated to a game concept and I have enough knowledge of coding languages, game engines, story writing and pixel mapping/3D modeling that I can make a working prototype of something that resembles a game. I'm not going to stop writing all together (that would be crazy). I'm merely transitioning to another medium, to a place where I can give purpose to stories I believe are worth telling. Maybe I could be the next Jonathan Blow or the next Tom Happ but if anything, I know I'll make something more interesting than Mario Party.

I'll occasionally post something here on my Giant Bomb account if I'm in the mood, but I don't expect that to be often.

Cheers, my friends