By takua108 35 Comments
I may or may not be joining the drunk blog club with this post.
We're in a hotel room, watching late-night television due to boredom.
Shoperotic is the funniest Goddamn thing I've ever seen on television. Jackmaster? Hilarious.
However, Walk-In Baths are the fucking Goddamn future. I want ten in my next house.
My butt is wet from what I can assume is a beer spill. This is a travesty.
Now we're watching Animal Planet. The show is apparently about killing animals though. Apparently there's an overabundance of mice in rural Australia? Great.
Oh shit, pizza crust in this box here... fantastic!
"The sea is the only place around Streaky Bay not infested with rodents." Hahaha.... "streaky bay."
On a scale of one to drunk right now, I'm probably about 6.5. And no, "one to drunk" isn't be being drunk; I use that expression all the time. Not "one to drunk" but "one to x."
So I'm trying Firefox and apparently CTRL+I opens your fucking bookmarks sidebar thing! And Whiskey Media's WYSIWYG editor doesn't override it! Fail, on both parts.
This is the silliest blog post I've ever made. Look at the format; not even paragraphs, but just lines, with spaces in between the lines.
If I were to describe the hotel room I'm in in terms of Flight of the Conchords songs, I'd say that it has "Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)." (I hope that's the name of the song.) The dick-to-non-dick ratio is 2:1, I think, but it's hard to count. Just kidding, it's 2:1 (4:2).
This is not my first time being drunk, but it is the first time I've been drunk enough but simultaneously not-drunk-enough to write a blog post coherently. I even spell correctly when I'm drunk because I actually pay attention to the red squiggles under words. I am mildly surprised that Firefox recognizes the word "squiggles."
Now the teevee is talking about raccoon feces. This is the greatest! God bless Animal Planet. Apparently the feces are urine-soaked. Fantastic!
I was going to note something about myself but then I didn't. What was it? You'll never know!
I think I'm sobering up, so it's time to go try some more homemade grog. When I say "grog" I mean "Spike Your Juice-tainted Welch's Grape Juice that has been fermenting for two weeks." Mix it with some fruit juice and it's quite delicious.
Animal Planet is talking about Streaky Bay again. It's the funniest shit.
Alright. Grog is in hand.
Now I'm typing without looking at the screen. Just kidding, I looked. Shit.
I think my back is moist, which is too bad because I'm wearing my Whiskey Media member's shirt. I don't know if it's alcohol or sweat, but it's damp either way. Moist, even.
The ratio of people on laptops in this room to people not-on-laptops is 1:1. The other two guys in the room are playing Age of Empires II. That's pretty ballin'. I'm not, though.
I do hope I get formally recognized as being in the Drunk Blogging Club, or whatever it's called these days, despite my lack of misspellings and grammar mishaps. Ironically, that's the name of my newest album: "Grammar Mishaps."
That was a joke.
As a Valve fan, I love this whole Portal 2 shit that's going on, but I'm more sad about Encyclopedia Dramatica going down than anything else. I mean, seriously! An Internet cultural touchstone has been erased from existence and hardly anyone cares. Fuck the Internet.
Speaking of Internets, I read on Reddit today that
(Hold on, I thought I'd note that "Reddit" is in Firefox's built-in dictionary. "Digg" is too, and so is "Slashdot." In this respect, they are beating the hell out of Chrome.)
Asia is out of IPv4 addresses. That is some trippy shit!
"Trippy" is not in Firefox's built-in dictionary, though, so fuck that. I don't even smoke weed or anything like that, but fuck that shit.
On that note, I think I'll end this drunk-blog post.
EDIT: I apologize in advance for posting this in Off-Topic. Well, it's not really in advance since I just posted it there. But still! Sowwy!