Drunk blog? Drunk blog!

I may or may not be joining the drunk blog club with this post.

We're in a hotel room, watching late-night television due to boredom.

Shoperotic is the funniest Goddamn thing I've ever seen on television. Jackmaster? Hilarious.

However, Walk-In Baths are the fucking Goddamn future. I want ten in my next house.

My butt is wet from what I can assume is a beer spill. This is a travesty.

Now we're watching Animal Planet. The show is apparently about killing animals though. Apparently there's an overabundance of mice in rural Australia? Great.

Oh shit, pizza crust in this box here... fantastic!

"The sea is the only place around Streaky Bay not infested with rodents." Hahaha.... "streaky bay."

On a scale of one to drunk right now, I'm probably about 6.5. And no, "one to drunk" isn't be being drunk; I use that expression all the time. Not "one to drunk" but "one to x."

So I'm trying Firefox and apparently CTRL+I opens your fucking bookmarks sidebar thing! And Whiskey Media's WYSIWYG editor doesn't override it! Fail, on both parts.

This is the silliest blog post I've ever made. Look at the format; not even paragraphs, but just lines, with spaces in between the lines.

If I were to describe the hotel room I'm in in terms of Flight of the Conchords songs, I'd say that it has "Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)." (I hope that's the name of the song.) The dick-to-non-dick ratio is 2:1, I think, but it's hard to count. Just kidding, it's 2:1 (4:2).

This is not my first time being drunk, but it is the first time I've been drunk enough but simultaneously not-drunk-enough to write a blog post coherently. I even spell correctly when I'm drunk because I actually pay attention to the red squiggles under words. I am mildly surprised that Firefox recognizes the word "squiggles."

Now the teevee is talking about raccoon feces. This is the greatest! God bless Animal Planet. Apparently the feces are urine-soaked. Fantastic!

I was going to note something about myself but then I didn't. What was it? You'll never know!

I think I'm sobering up, so it's time to go try some more homemade grog. When I say "grog" I mean "Spike Your Juice-tainted Welch's Grape Juice that has been fermenting for two weeks." Mix it with some fruit juice and it's quite delicious.

Animal Planet is talking about Streaky Bay again. It's the funniest shit.

Alright. Grog is in hand.

Now I'm typing without looking at the screen. Just kidding, I looked. Shit.

I think my back is moist, which is too bad because I'm wearing my Whiskey Media member's shirt. I don't know if it's alcohol or sweat, but it's damp either way. Moist, even.

The ratio of people on laptops in this room to people not-on-laptops is 1:1. The other two guys in the room are playing Age of Empires II. That's pretty ballin'. I'm not, though.

I do hope I get formally recognized as being in the Drunk Blogging Club, or whatever it's called these days, despite my lack of misspellings and grammar mishaps. Ironically, that's the name of my newest album: "Grammar Mishaps."

That was a joke.

As a Valve fan, I love this whole Portal 2 shit that's going on, but I'm more sad about Encyclopedia Dramatica going down than anything else. I mean, seriously! An Internet cultural touchstone has been erased from existence and hardly anyone cares. Fuck the Internet.

Speaking of Internets, I read on Reddit today that

(Hold on, I thought I'd note that "Reddit" is in Firefox's built-in dictionary. "Digg" is too, and so is "Slashdot." In this respect, they are beating the hell out of Chrome.)

Asia is out of IPv4 addresses. That is some trippy shit!

"Trippy" is not in Firefox's built-in dictionary, though, so fuck that. I don't even smoke weed or anything like that, but fuck that shit.

On that note, I think I'll end this drunk-blog post.

Fuck it!

EDIT: I apologize in advance for posting this in Off-Topic. Well, it's not really in advance since I just posted it there. But still! Sowwy!

34 Comments
35 Comments
Posted by takua108

I may or may not be joining the drunk blog club with this post.

We're in a hotel room, watching late-night television due to boredom.

Shoperotic is the funniest Goddamn thing I've ever seen on television. Jackmaster? Hilarious.

However, Walk-In Baths are the fucking Goddamn future. I want ten in my next house.

My butt is wet from what I can assume is a beer spill. This is a travesty.

Now we're watching Animal Planet. The show is apparently about killing animals though. Apparently there's an overabundance of mice in rural Australia? Great.

Oh shit, pizza crust in this box here... fantastic!

"The sea is the only place around Streaky Bay not infested with rodents." Hahaha.... "streaky bay."

On a scale of one to drunk right now, I'm probably about 6.5. And no, "one to drunk" isn't be being drunk; I use that expression all the time. Not "one to drunk" but "one to x."

So I'm trying Firefox and apparently CTRL+I opens your fucking bookmarks sidebar thing! And Whiskey Media's WYSIWYG editor doesn't override it! Fail, on both parts.

This is the silliest blog post I've ever made. Look at the format; not even paragraphs, but just lines, with spaces in between the lines.

If I were to describe the hotel room I'm in in terms of Flight of the Conchords songs, I'd say that it has "Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)." (I hope that's the name of the song.) The dick-to-non-dick ratio is 2:1, I think, but it's hard to count. Just kidding, it's 2:1 (4:2).

This is not my first time being drunk, but it is the first time I've been drunk enough but simultaneously not-drunk-enough to write a blog post coherently. I even spell correctly when I'm drunk because I actually pay attention to the red squiggles under words. I am mildly surprised that Firefox recognizes the word "squiggles."

Now the teevee is talking about raccoon feces. This is the greatest! God bless Animal Planet. Apparently the feces are urine-soaked. Fantastic!

I was going to note something about myself but then I didn't. What was it? You'll never know!

I think I'm sobering up, so it's time to go try some more homemade grog. When I say "grog" I mean "Spike Your Juice-tainted Welch's Grape Juice that has been fermenting for two weeks." Mix it with some fruit juice and it's quite delicious.

Animal Planet is talking about Streaky Bay again. It's the funniest shit.

Alright. Grog is in hand.

Now I'm typing without looking at the screen. Just kidding, I looked. Shit.

I think my back is moist, which is too bad because I'm wearing my Whiskey Media member's shirt. I don't know if it's alcohol or sweat, but it's damp either way. Moist, even.

The ratio of people on laptops in this room to people not-on-laptops is 1:1. The other two guys in the room are playing Age of Empires II. That's pretty ballin'. I'm not, though.

I do hope I get formally recognized as being in the Drunk Blogging Club, or whatever it's called these days, despite my lack of misspellings and grammar mishaps. Ironically, that's the name of my newest album: "Grammar Mishaps."

That was a joke.

As a Valve fan, I love this whole Portal 2 shit that's going on, but I'm more sad about Encyclopedia Dramatica going down than anything else. I mean, seriously! An Internet cultural touchstone has been erased from existence and hardly anyone cares. Fuck the Internet.

Speaking of Internets, I read on Reddit today that

(Hold on, I thought I'd note that "Reddit" is in Firefox's built-in dictionary. "Digg" is too, and so is "Slashdot." In this respect, they are beating the hell out of Chrome.)

Asia is out of IPv4 addresses. That is some trippy shit!

"Trippy" is not in Firefox's built-in dictionary, though, so fuck that. I don't even smoke weed or anything like that, but fuck that shit.

On that note, I think I'll end this drunk-blog post.

Fuck it!

EDIT: I apologize in advance for posting this in Off-Topic. Well, it's not really in advance since I just posted it there. But still! Sowwy!

Edited by Skald

My OS X spellcheck doesn't care for Reddit, but Digg and Slashdot are alright. Apple engineers continue to mystify.

Posted by MrKlorox

*Goes for drunken high-five in single-spacing!*

Posted by takua108

*Catches drunken high-five in single-spacing, but tries to bro-fist or something stupid and ends up looking very foolish.*

Posted by TheDudeOfGaming

Drunk blog awwww yeah.

Now do high blog. 

Posted by Weltal

Drunk porst? Drunk post!

Sam Jackson just exploded and the predators are coming! Oh god!!

Posted by Underachiever007

Hell yeah, drunk blog!

Posted by InternetCrab

Words cannot describe how much this thread rules.
Posted by rjayb89

I thought your ICI (still on-going) April Fool's joke sucked, bro.

Online
Posted by Example1013

The only problem is...it's not a blog post. Talk to someone tomorrow when you're sober about how to post a blog.


Still, as a thread, this is pretty goddamn awesome.
Posted by takua108
@rjayb89 said:
" I thought your ICI (still on-going) April Fool's joke sucked, bro. "
Aww, man! At least I tried, right? T_T

@example1013 said:
" The only problem is...it's not a blog post. Talk to someone tomorrow when you're sober about how to post a blog.

Still, as a thread, this is pretty goddamn awesome.
"

Dude I've posted tons of legit blogs! This seemed pretty par for the course for drunk-blogs. And I'm not even fully drunk, I'm somewhere between there and Sobrietytown, but probably closer to the former than tha latter.
Posted by Example1013
@takua108: It doesn't say Blog Post in the title, so it's not an official blog. It's just a forum thread. Your profile page has a specific section for your blogs, and you link to the forum from there, rather than straight-up posting in the forum.

I think part of the reason is because of how the News/Activity Feeds work. So if you want your followers to easily see and read this, it has to be made as a blog.

I was really pretty drunk earlier this morning and last night, but now I'm almost sober, and just really tired instead. I probably used the delete key more tonight than I have at any other time in my life. And I've written multiple research papers. Hitting the right keys while drunk is a bitch.
Posted by zudthespud

If you are laughing that much at "streaky bay" you must be quite drunk. I am envious.

Posted by takua108
Posted by rjayb89

That joke may have been poop from a butt but you're cool, bro. You're cool.

Online
Posted by Example1013
@takua108: Wow. When did they take out the (Blog Post)? Now I'm all messed up. How am I supposed to know what's a blog and what's not? MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING!!!
Posted by takua108
@rjayb89 said:
" That joke may have been poop from a butt but you're cool, bro. You're cool. "
:D

Thanks for at least being the first person to acknowledge the joke, though. I thought nobody'd seen it! It makes me happy that people still check out ici. Maybe I'll finally get serious with Ruby on Rails and release v2.0! Wouldn't that be something?
Posted by takua108
@example1013 said:
" @takua108: Wow. When did they take out the (Blog Post)? Now I'm all messed up. How am I supposed to know what's a blog and what's not? MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING!!! "
Well, looking in the off-topic forum, it shows up as "Drunk Blog? Drunk Blog! (blog post)." Maybe they removed it from the front page or something? I dunno! I'm not sober enough to pretend to understand how websites work.
Posted by Example1013

This is literally what I see:


Posted by rjayb89
@takua108: I keep checking that site because I know my 80k point bet on World of Warcraft: Cataclysm getting 5 stars is gonna happen! I just know it! But, seriously (actually I do have that bet going on still), even if you do absolutely nothing with that site I still think it's pretty awesome. I just wish the big games would come out sooner.
Online
Posted by MattyFTM
@example1013 said:
" This is literally what I see:

"
The "(Blog Post)" ending has never appeared actually within the post itself. It just appears on the list of topics.
Moderator
Posted by fontainefellow

Shit son, Streaky Bay is funny even when I'm not drunk. And a shame that ED went down. I don't care much for the Offended and Kittens and some other pages, but most of the stuff on there is pretty funny.

Posted by Yanngc33

The blog should've just ended with bwaaaaa

Posted by RedEyesBlueBunny

TOO MANY DICKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR

Posted by McGhee

When are we going to get the "Hungover" blog posts? I would enjoy the contrast between the two.

Edited by takua108
@McGhee_the_Insomniac said:

" When are we going to get the "Hungover" blog posts? I would enjoy the contrast between the two. "

This may happen!! Maybe not, though; I've been on a pretty irregular sleep cycle recently, so the fact that I'm awake after like four hours of pseudosleep is hardly surprising. If I feel shit enough, I'll probably add onto this blog post instead of creating a new one!

I'm still kind of drunk right now! Having a shitty-ass sleep cycle + drinking Four Loko != my best idea of all time! Or maybe it was! Only time can tell.

EDIT: Oh God, it was only two hours. Welp... fuck it!

EDIT AGAIN: I wrote this comment largely while pooping, which made me wonder if pooping while blogging was a thing, called "plogging." Then I check Urban Dictionary and lo and motherfucking behold, it is! (Fuck yea face.) (It's pretty painful to type "fuck yea" because I know it needs the "h" but not in the context of the face.)
Posted by Tebbit

Welcome to the big leagues, baby

Posted by RudeJohn

Yeah, never a big fan of the "stream of consciouness" school. Too ego-centric, "look at me, mommy! look at me!"

This sort of thing only works if you're interesting or if you're funny. You could be the nicest guy in the world, but dull is dull.

Get it out of your system and try again.

Posted by takua108
@RudeJohn said:
" Yeah, never a big fan of the "stream of consciouness" school. Too ego-centric, "look at me, mommy! look at me!" This sort of thing only works if you're interesting or if you're funny. You could be the nicest guy in the world, but dull is dull. Get it out of your system and try again. "
Not entirely sure what else you're to expect from a drunk-blog other than stream-of-consciousness rambling or storytelling. I've done some hilarious programming while drunk, but if you want epic poetry or profound philosophical pronouncements (my new band btw [PPP]), I'm sorry to have failed in this regard.
Posted by Claude

I've got a little bit of a hangover. Must have been the cheap wine.

Posted by iam3green

awww sweet, i'm posting in a drunk thread.

Posted by Example1013
@MattyFTM: I swear that the blog post tag wasn't next to it last night, even in the topics list. I really thought I checked!
Posted by Mr_Skeleton

Hey... I can totally rean and understand what you wrote, you're not drunk!

Posted by teh_destroyer

A lot of drunks on here today, don't have anything going on tonight so I will probably be joining the band wagon of the lonely drunk train.

Posted by takua108
@teh_destroyer said:
" A lot of drunks on here today, don't have anything going on tonight so I will probably be joining the band wagon of the lonely drunk train. "
"The Lonely Drunk Train" would be a pretty awesome band/album name/title.