Fanfic for my blog. Since Sweep says fic goes in blogs.

The red light on the camera went off. Drew had left a few minutes earlier. Vinny shut the door. This was it. I would finally be able to discover the Secret of the Muppet. I slowly walked up to the Italian Stallion, taking in everything, knowing this would be my one chance - but my eyes never left his. Vinny's eyes were staring through me, into me. Beyond my soul. After what felt like hours, I was finally within arms reach of him.

His colossal pythons struck fear in me, but for just a second. And then I remembered my purpose. Snapping out of my temporary paralysis, regaining feeling in my hands. I moved them to the bottom of Vinny's black hauberk of a shirt. Thump thump. Thump thump. My heart was pounding out of my chest as my hands began to move upward. The blackness rose upwards.

I gasped in what I saw. My breath left me. I began to fall backwards, my hands leaving Vinny's shirt and grasping at air. With a thud, I hit the ground. Caravella began to laugh. Maniacally. It was the kind of laugh that only a true villain could release. The kind of laugh that came from something out of a TV show. Out of a movie. Out of a video game.

"You have seen beneath the black," Vinny said, in Italian, "No one is supposed to see beneath the black." How I knew what he said, I didn't question. I was overtaken by fear. My heart was in my throat. What was going to happen to me?

I didn't see him move. All I knew was that Vinny's boot was on my throat. Life was leaving me. I could feel it fleeing me as I began to feel my pulse in my eyes. I was nearly gone. But I didn't care. I knew Vinny's secret. My life was complete. Beneath Vinny's black shirt was another black shirt.


Psych and Twin Peaks

So, I just got finished watching this week's episode of Psych. The whole thing was an allusion to Twin Peaks, ranging from the location and situations, to the reunion of the Twin Peaks cast. I really enjoyed it. It had that its usual Psych-y charm, but also the Deadly Premonition-eque setting that I fell in love with months and months ago.
Now, I never actually watched the show. Yet, having only watched the Deadly Premonition ERs I was completely able to follow along with what was up.
I think I'm gonna definitely have to check out the show sometime, because I enjoyed both the Psych throwback and the Deadly Premonition Endurance Runs.
 Anyone else watch this week's Psych? Thoughts, comments, etc?


Things I bought Today

So, I totally caved. I bought Blops. I didn't mean to. But I have no control. That little voice in the back of my head that compelled me to buy a snuggie? He was too convincing in his whispers telling me to pick up the new Call of Duty. There goes $60. $70 if you include the snuggie from Monday.
But hey! While I Best Buy, I also managed to find something cool in the discount bin: Ultraman. Yeah, Ultraman - The Complete Series. Got it for $5. So at least I'm not ashamed of one thing I bought this week.


Since DNF's Announcement (slightly outdated)

I figured now is an appropriate time to post this.  It's copied from a list me and some buddies compiled back in 2007. I haven't completely updated all of it. Still a sort of work in progress thing.
  The following things have happened since Duke Nukem Forever was announced...
Popular Video Game Series Releases
Final Fantasy:

* Main Series
o Final Fantasy VII
o Final Fantasy VIII
o Final Fantasy IX
o Final Fantasy X
+ Final Fantasy X-2
o Final Fantasy XI
o Final Fantasy XII 
*Final Fantasy XIII
* Cell Phone Games
o Before Crisis: Final Fantasy
o Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII
o Dirge of Cerberus: Lost Episode
* Tactics Series
o Final Fantasy Tactics
o Final Fantasy Tactice Advance
* Crystal Chronicles Series
o Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
o Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates
o Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearer
* Remakes
o Final Fantasy Collection
o Final Fantasy Anthology
o Final Fantasy Chronicles
o Final Fantasy Origins
o Final Fantasy I & 2: Dawn of Souls
o Final Fantasy III DS
* Games Featuring Final Fantasy Characters
o Ehrgeiz
o Kingtom Hearts
o Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
o Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix
o Kingdom Hearts II
* Movies, Anime Series & Concerts
o Final Fantasy: The Sprits Within
o Final Fantasy: Unlimited, Entire Series
o Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
o Final Fantasy: Dear Friends, Entire World Tour

Grand Theft Auto:

* Grand Theft Auto
o Grand Theft Auto, Gameboy Color Port
* Grand Theft Auto
* Grand Theft Auto: London 1969
* Grand Theft Auto: London 1961
* Grand Theft Auto 2
* Grand Theft Auto III 
* Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
* Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
* Grand Theft Auto Advance
* Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories
o Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, PS2 Port
* Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
* Grand Theft Auto IV 
*Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

The Legend of Zelda:

* Ocarina of Time
* Majora's Mask
* Oracle of Ages
* Oracle of Seasons
* The Wind Waker
* Four Swords Adventures
* The Minish Cap
* Six remakes of previous Zelda titles for the Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance and Gamecube.
o Link's Awakening DX, Gameboy Color
o A Link to the Past, Gameboy Advance
o Ocarina of Time, Gamecube
o The Zelda Collector Edition, Gamecube
o Classic NES Series: The Legend of Zelda, Gameboy Advance
o Classic NES Series: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, Gameboy Advance
* Phantom Hourglass
* Twilight Princess 
*Spirit Tracks

The Sims:

* The Sims
* The Sims: Livin' Large
* The Sims: House Party
* The Sims: Hot Date
* The Sims: Vacation
* The Sims: Unleashed
* The Sims: Superstar
* The Sims: Makin' Magic
* The Sims Online
* The Sims 2
* The Sims 2: University
* The Sims 2: Nightlife
* The Sims 2: Open for Business
* The Sims (Console Port)
* The Sims Bustin' Out
* The Sims 2 (Console Port)
* The Urbz: Sims in the City 
*The Sims 3

Other Popular Game Series:

* Over 75 games based in the MegaMan universe, and 12 games featuring MegaMan universe character cameos.
* Over 50 games based in the Star Wars universe.
* Mario has appeared in 58 different video games.
* Every Massive Multiplayer Online game and expansion with the exception of 59.
* Every Dance Dance Revolution and Bemani rhythm game
* Every Pokemon game released outside of .
* Every Unreal, every Unreal Tournament, and every game that has used any of the Unreal engines.
* Quake 2, 3, 4, and countless games that have used their engines.
* Every Tony Hawk and extreme sport spin-off game.
* Daikatana began development 10 days before Duke Nukem Forever- Unfortunately no one was made John Romero's bitch when it hit retail shelves on May 23rd, 2000.
* 3DRealms and Remedy bring Max Payne and its sequel from concepts to finished games, porting both to Xbox and PS2.
* Valve released both Half-Life 1 and 2, with several expansion packs and countless mods for each.
* Every version of Counter-Strike and Counter-Strike Source were developed.
* Every Thief game.
* Black Isle was formed, released seven titles and was shut down.
* The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind and IV:Oblivion, and the entire Baldur's Gate series.
* Wizards of the Coast has printed six Core Sets, 30 Expansion Sets of Magic: The Gathering. If someone bought one of every single card printed since DNF was announced, they would have a collection of approximately 101,742 cards.
* Every installment of Metal Gear Solid released to date, as well as Ghost Babel (MGS for the Gameboy) and the Metal Gear Acid series for PSP. And it is likely that the the apparent conclusion of Solid Snake's legacy, "Guns of the Patriots," will come out before DNF.
* A garage full of programmers in Croatia (Croteam) developed the engine and created the game Serious Sam. Since then there have been multiple sequels and console ports- all off a fraction of the money 3D Realms has blown on DNF's development.
* Every 3D Prince of Persia game.
* Aside from Wolfenstein 3D, every single First Person Shooter based during World War II, including the entire Medal of Honor series.
* While DNF has been in production, Blizzard Entertainment, another studio famous for delays, has released four full games(Starcraft, Diablo 2, Warcraft 3, and World of Warcraft), with expansions for three (four when Burning Crusade comes out).
* Bioware released Neverwinter Nights with two expansions, Star Wars: Nights of the Old Republic, and Jade Empire. All games are deep, lengthy RPGs that demand multiple playthroughs.

Video Game Systems:

* Microsoft XBOX
* Microsoft XBOX 360
* Nintendo GameCube
* Nintendo Gameboy Color
* Gameboy Advance
o Gameboy Advance SP
o Gameboy Micro
* Nintendo DS
o Nintendo DS Lite
* Sega Dreamcast
* Sony PSone
* Sony Playstation 2
o Sony Slim Playstation 2 
*Sony PS3 Slim
* Sony PSP 
*Nintendo Wii

* Over 4600 games were released for the above video game systems in the United States.
* Over 350,000,000 consoles and handhelds were sold worldwide.

Fun Facts
Computers & Internet:

* In 1997, the fastest consumer internet connection was a 33.6 kbps modem. On average, consumer internet connections are 300 times faster today.
* When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, the fastest processor available to consumers was a 233Mhz Pentium. Since then the clock speed of consumer processors has increased over 16 times (32 times counting dual cores), and the fabrication process has decreased from 250nm to 65nm.
* In October of 2001, Apple announced the iPod and Slashdot dismissed it as an immediate failure. Since then there have been 5 generations of iPods, as well as the iPod Mini, iPod Shuffle, and iPod Nano with 42 million iPods sold worldwide as of 1/06.
* Steve Jobs was still running NeXT when Duke Nukem Forever was announced.
* Every peer to peer file sharing program including Napster was developed.
* In April of 1997, Google, eBay, and the term "weblog" didn't exist.
* Linux gained at least 10 times the popularity it had while its kernel tripled in size.
* Mac OS switched to UNIX and became the most highly regarded general purpose operating system on the market among the computing press.
* Microsoft released 6 consumer-oriented versions of Windows and might release Vista before Duke Nukem Forever hits shelves.
* Netscape Navigator 4 was released, Microsoft Internet Explorer destroyed it. Netscape 6 released on an entirely different rendering platform, Netscape dies, Mozilla foundation rises. Open-source Mozilla browsers become popular and force Microsoft to start working on new version of Internet Explorer.
* Valve releases Steam and sets a new standard in digital software distribution.
* MySpace has gone from beta to the largest social-networking site in the world (and the fourth most popular English language website), fallen from it's throne, and has continued fighting to maintain it's existence. 
*Over 500 million people have registered for Facebook, making it the new Social Network King. 


* There have been 125 tropical cyclones. 73 hurricans in the Atlantic, 52 typhoons in the Pacific.
* There have been over 23 death-toll producing tornado outbreaks in the United States.
* Over 50 major earthquakes have shaken the world, which have shortened the Earth day by 2.68 microseconds.


* Adjusted for inflation, the average price of gas in the United States has doubled.
* The Euro was introduced as a new European currency.
* Enron has filed for bankruptcy and folded. Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling have been arrested on fraud charges and subsequently indicted and convicted. In addition, they will most likely be sentenced before Forever is released.

Movies that were filmed, released in theatres, and have made it to DVD:

* All three Star Wars prequels.
* The entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, with extended editions.
* Every Pixar movie aside from Toy Story.
* Five James Bond films.
* Every movie, animation, and video game from The Matrix series.
* Every Marvel comics movie released.
* Each predictable twist ending of every movie by M. Night Shyamalan.

Pop Culture:

* Britney Spears' entire musical career as a pop star has taken place during Duke Nukem Forever's development.
* Theater box office totals since the announcement are over $2.62 billion.
* Colin Farrell's entire movie career has also taken place during development.
* The concept of Bullet Time has been developed, pioneered, and completely run in to the ground.
* Cellular Phones ownership has become commonplace, whereas in 1997 they were viewed as luxurious expenditures.
* The entire cult following of Family Guy! Family Guy has debuted on FOX, been cancelled, entered syndication, been released on DVD, redebuted on FOX, and seen the release of a feature film.
* Seven Harry Potter Books have been released, and six films produced.
* Stephen King has written 16 novels.
* The first episode of South Park was first aired on August 13, 1997, the same year in which DNF was announced. The show is now in the second half of it's 14th season, with 'Tsst' being the 146 episode shown.
* King of the Hill first aired on January 12 of the same year, around the same time prototype work was being done in the Quake Engine for DNF. It recently finished after 13 seasons.
* The episode count of 'The Simpsons' has more then doubled since DNFs announcement. Season 8, episode 23 was the 176th episode, and aired on May fourth, 1997. The 352nd episode aired on May 1st, 2005. Currently, there are 489.
* Twenty seasons of Survivor. The Twenty frst comes this fall.
* The ending of Star Trek shows Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and the beginning and ending of Enterprise, plus the films First Contact, Insurrection and Nemesis.
* Joss Whedon showed us that he truly is our master with every Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly episode. (Oh, and the movie Serenity.)

Science & Technology:

* The Voyager 1 spacecraft has travelled 8.8 billion miles from Earth.
* The two Mars rovers, Spirit and Opportunity were proposed, authorized, announced, designed, launched and successfully landed upon Mars where they have been exploring the surface for over 2.5 years.
* NASA's Deep Impact program also went full circle.
* The International Space Station was assembled and has been orbiting Earth for over 8 years.
* NASA has launched 30 manned space shuttle missions, Russia has launched 17.
* The Airbus A380 "Super Jumbo" plane was designed, built, tested, and delivered to airlines.
* Tier One developed, built, tested, and launched SpaceShipOne- winning the Ansari X-Prize for being the first non-government organization to launch a reusable manned spacecraft into space twice within two weeks.
* In 1997 there were only 50 million US cell phone subscribers in the United States. Today there are more than 200 million, which amounts to over 60% of the population of the USA.
* The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan (the largest nuclear-powered aircraft carrier in the world) was in contract, built, launched, comissioned, and began active duty.
* Costa Concordia, the biggest Italian cruise liner was designed, built and delivered by the Fincantieri shipyards, in Italy.
* The Space Shuttle Columbia burnt up during re-entry, the entire Space Shuttle program went through a safety overhaul, and the Shuttle returned to flight. 
* Boeing created a plane for carrying planes.


* Since the announcement of Duke Nukem Forever, the single season home run record has been broken. Twice.
* The Red Sox broke their curse by finally winning the world series.
* Two of the greatest NBA Dynasties in history have reigned and ended: The incredible 1990s Chicago Bulls dynasty were still unmatched in '97 and disbanded after the '98 finals. The Los Angeles Lakers acquired Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal in '97 and Phil Jackson in '99, effectively becoming the greatest team in the NBA at the time with another landmark dynasty that lasted from 2000-2002. The Lakers disbanded after losing the finals to the Pistons in 2004.
* There have been six Olympic Games (four winter, three summer).
* Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France 7 consecutive years.
* The World Wrestling Federation has changed its name to World Wrestling Entertainment and bought its two main competitors, WCW and ECW, relaunching ECW, and facing new competition from TNA.
* The Cubs have lost 798 games since April '97.
* St. Louis Cardinals moved from Busch Stadium to new Busch stadium.
* Philidelphia Phillies moved from Veterans Stadium to Citizens Bank Ballpark.
* The Houston Astros moved from the Astrodome to Enron Field (Now Minute-Maid Park).
* The Cincinnati Reds moved from Cinergy Field to Great American Ballpark.
* The Milwaukee Brewers moved from County Stadium to Miller Park.
* The San Diego Padres moved from Qualcomm stadium to Petco Park.
* The Pittsburgh Pirates moved from Three-River Stadium to PNC Park.
* The Detroit Tigers moved from Tiger Stadium to Comerica Park.
* The Seattle Mariners moved from The Kingdome to Safeco Field.
* The Montreal Expos are now the Washington Nationals.
* The Arizona Diamondbacks and Tampa Bay Devil Rays were formed.
* The Cleveland Browns turned into the Baltimore Ravens.
* A new Cleveland Browns team was formed and moved into a new stadium.
* The Cincinnati Bengals moved from Cinergy Field to Paul Brown Stadium.
* The New England Patriots moved from Foxboro Stadium to Gillete Stadium.
* The Tennessee Titans moved into The Coliseum after 3 years at a college football stadium.
* The Pittsburgh Steelers moved from Three-Rivers Stadium to Heinz Field.
* The Denver Broncos moved from Mile High Stadium to Invesco Field.
* The Washington Redskins moved from RFK Stadium to FedEx Field.
* The Phildelphia Eagles moved from Veterans Stadium to Lincoln Financial Field.
* The Tampa Bay Buccaneers moved from Houlihan Stadium to Raymond James Stadium.
* The Detroit Lions moved from the Silverdome to Ford Field.
* The Seattle Seahawks moved from the Kingdome to Qwest Field.
* Brette Farve has passed for 34,891yards while the careers of Ryan Leaf and Cade McNown began, sucked, and ended.

United States Politics:

* The Identity of Deep Throat has been revealed.
* 40 new members have been elected to the Senate.
* The national debt has increased by over 3 trillion dollars.
* The national minimum wage has remained $5.15.
* Bill Clinton finished his presidential term, George W. Bush was elected and re-elected, finished his term, and Barack Obama is half way through his first term.

World Events:

* 4 nations have acquired nuclear weapons technology.
* 19 wars have begun.
* 5 wars have ended.
* Approximately 509,373,306 people have died and 661,373,082 have been born.
* There have been 7 total solar eclipses and 8 total lunar eclipses.
* The United Kingdom handed sovereignty of Hong Kong to the People's Republic of China.

Things that have taken less time than Duke Nukem Forever's Development:
Pop Culture:

* The Beatles formed, released every single one of their albums and broke up. During this time they also toured the world several times.
* Led Zeppelin released 7 albums, 9 singles, and toured around the world, crossing international borders 27 times (not counting mainland Europe.)

Science & Technology:

* The Wright brothers designed and flew the first airplane.
* The theory of General Relativity.
* The United States' entire program to put a man on the moon, from Kennedy's challenge to the landing.


* The American War for Independence
* The United States Civil War
* World War I
* World War II and the entire Manhattan Project.
* The United State's involvement in the Vietnam War.

Thanks to Alakaiser, for being such an...Alakaiser.

Thanks to wntd for the kickin' CSS

Thanks to CaptainPsyko, BonzoESC, n1ck, Fish, MrBrainsample, Skroob, stabby, Josh Taylor, v0idnull, wildfalkon, Joachim Blum, and anyone else I'm missing who chipped in facts for the updated list. Also, thanks to Wikipedia nerds who spend so much time listing weird things like every game Mario is in.



So. I have over 1000 posts. Not attaching this to a forum because I feel this is just a self fellating blog post. And sort of a marker of when it happened.
Uh, booyah.


Pre-E3 Quick Thought $1

What am I looking forward to at E3? The same shit I was last year because it's all fucking sequels. Some surprises would be nice. And of course the press conferences.


On Giantbomb's Religions

Do we really need one of these threads every week?
Religion is fine and all that. Be you atheist or theist. But it seems like every single thread ends the same way and has the exact same content. 
I guess my point is: We don't need anymore of these threads.


What's Up This Week 5-9 -> 5-15

No, not the Stanley Cup ones. Though, I'd prefer those to the tests I've gotta do.  Got myself a nice finals beard growing, I guess that's a plus. Between studying, eating, and studying, I've had about an hour to game this week - and that time was found by pushing back study time by an hour. 
Still playing Conviction. I finished off all of the Hunter missions on realistic, solo style. Now I gotta do those blasted EMP ones (pun...har har). eh? Seems like a cool site. I like the lay out, the reviews, and the community (so far). I don't like that they have quests. As if I had any free time to do them. But now I've got GB quests AND Screened quests to feed my completion hunger.
Brad's Lost Planet 2 Review - The issue that ignited the fuse that triggered the bomb. He's a fine gamer. I don't think people get how hard it is to talk and play games. So I don't really give the whole "Well, Brad sucks so of course he gives the game a bad review" argument  any points. From the demo, the game did have janky controls. 
Welp; That's all I've got. Game on!



So, Splinter Cell: Conviction is pretty fun for the most part. It's got some seriously cheap spots and some parts that feel out of place (a defend the thingy mission in a stealth game?) but over all I'm quite enjoying it. Really like what they did with the cover system. Mark and execute works pretty well. Assault weapons are very near useless.  Campaign clocked in around 5 hours, like everyone said. About to jump in to some Co-Op, and then hopefully gonna finish up campagnia on realistic this weekend too. Just some quick thoughts on it.
The credits are long. Like, really, really long. 
So I'm STILL getting invites to 10th prestige lobby boosting for MW2. Not a fan of those. 

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