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Aliens: Colonial Marines Review

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  • PC

Both functionally broken and creatively bankrupt, Aliens: Colonial Marines is an extinction-level disaster.

Many have chided Ridley Scott's recent sort-of-Alien-prequel Prometheus as a cynical, unnecessary retcon of the existing Alien canon that never quite justified its own existence. Aliens: Colonial Marines makes Prometheus look vital by comparison. Gearbox Software, who were ostensibly in charge of the seven-year operation required to bring this thing to fruition, have spent much of that time talking about just how much they loved Aliens. Studio head Randy Pitchford has spent years recounting the tale of the time he went to Ridley Scott's office, and had the opportunity to flip through the original Alien's concept art sketches with the director in the name of research for their upcoming Aliens game. To hear them tell it, all anyone at Gearbox wanted to do was bring a little of their own enthusiasm to a franchise they loved and revered. This makes reconciling the game spoken of by the studio's various figureheads, and the game currently available at retail, nigh-on impossible.

We spent a long time waiting for Aliens: Colonial Marines. Maybe we shouldn't have done that.
We spent a long time waiting for Aliens: Colonial Marines. Maybe we shouldn't have done that.

In reality, the many years of development spent on Colonial Marines have resulted in a staggering misfire. Ugly, tedious, and frankly more than a little bit broken, Colonial Marines is not a game that offers you, the presumed Aliens fan, anything you wouldn't do just fine without. The game's idea of expanding on the timeline that exists between Aliens and Alien 3 has never stood out as a particularly necessary one, but based on the aforementioned enthusiasm for the material, one couldn't help but hope that maybe the developers had some cool, unexpected ideas of how to flesh out that particularly nebulous period between film series protagonist Ellen Ripley's escape from the xenomorph-infested planet LV-426, and her arrival on the prison planet in Alien 3.

They did not.

Instead of thoughtfully fleshing out the existing canon, the developers instead chose to rewrite whole chunks of it just for the sake of making their dumb story fly. In the game, you arrive at LV-426 with a battalion of colonial marines who have come to find out what happened to the squads previously sent to the planet in Aliens. What they find is the Sulaco, the derelict ship that once housed the movie's marines, floating around in space. It's been overrun with xenomorphs, as well as Weyland-Yutani hired mercenaries, who have seemingly been conducting an operation on the planet and the ship. You, as marine Christopher Winters, begin the game by storming the Sulaco looking to aid your comrades in battle against the Wey-U soldiers and horrible creatures that have infested it, but eventually will end up back on LV-426, trapped in a much larger, and much stupider conspiracy than you'd ever dreamed.

This is one of the biggest fundamental flaws of Colonial Marines, and one it shares with Prometheus. Namely, this game feels like it was built around its setpieces, and not the other way around. Granted, at least Prometheus grew out of the germ of an idea that was answering the question of who the giant "Space Jockey" was that the hapless humans of the original Alien stumbled upon. That question may not have had the most coherent of answers, but at least it made a half-hearted effort to answer something. Colonial Marines instead takes the Star Tours approach, picking key locations from Alien and Aliens for the player to arrive at and proceed to gawk toward, while building a hacky, totally uninteresting story around why the player has to go to those places.

Lacking a coherent story direction, the game relies on its main characters to build up the drama. Unfortunately, we're saddled with Winters and a few other marine grunts who offer no identifiable personality outside of their endless recycled references to "no marine left behind" and patently unconvincing "ooh-rahs!" By the time the tatters of the team end up on LV-426, the game finally begins showing its hand, offering up ridiculous plot twists and poorly executed conspiracies that just add a giant pile of nonsense to the nifty, if somewhat vague premise of Alien 3. I cannot explain much beyond that without outright spoiling the game, but let's just say that a late-game cameo (that the game telegraphs in its opening credits) is one of the dumbest, most hamfisted twists in anything of Alien's canon. Yes, dumber than the entire Aliens vs. Predator franchise.

The worst part is that it does this for no real reason other than the sake of having another character you recognize in the mix. The existence of Lance Henriksen's Bishop at least makes canonical sense since he's a mass-produced artificial lifeform, but all this cameo character does is show up, try to explain away his appearance by actively avoiding trying to explain away his appearance--they literally answer a key plot question by saying "That's another, longer story..."--and then proceed to do nothing of note or consequence for the rest of the game. It's a twist for the sake of a twist, and nothing more.

In absence of proper storytelling, Colonial Marines must then rely on its gameplay to keep your attention. This is most unfortunate for a number of reasons. As a first-person shooter, Colonial Marines is at least a basically functional piece of work. The weaponry you're provided is neat and authentic, right down to the gunfire sound effects you remember from the movie. Yet, the action is deeply unsatisfying. The whole crux of the game, namely the violence done between man and xenomorph, is an unconscionable mess. Granted, combat in Aliens mostly boiled down to big, tough marines being savaged by creatures their weaponry and hubris could not stand up to, and that would probably not make for much of a game if repeated over long level sections in a shooter. So instead, xenos come frolicking after you, bounding up one leap at a time until they're right up in your face, swiping and snarling until you pump enough bullets into them to make them dissolve into acidic goo.

Multiplayer seems well-meaning, but isn't nearly balanced nor interesting enough to keep your attention.
Multiplayer seems well-meaning, but isn't nearly balanced nor interesting enough to keep your attention.

Yes, this does become quite repetitive. The xenomorphs just aren't built to surprise you, or force you to really do anything other than just fire at anything that looks black and menacing. They crawl around on walls, sure, but the way they're scripted to attack robs the game of any tension or excitement. You will hear a blip on your motion tracker (a largely useless device in the context of this game), and suddenly there will be bad guys. Considering this game's only scare tactic is to have aliens start crawling out of air vents or bursting out of floors when you supposedly least expect it--keep in mind, it does this in pretty much every other corridor or room--this solitary ping is a shockingly ill-conceived move, in that it steels you for what's about to come every single time. If you had to actually use the motion tracker (which replaces the gun in your hand) for any kind of early warning, that'd make for some interesting, tense moments as you scan around for movement. But no, all you have to do is wait for the ping, and have your gun ready.

That Colonial Marines' campaign so thoroughly lacks in dread or terror is perhaps the most damning thing I can say about it. The only time the game pulls off anything even resembling unease is during a brief scene when your character is alone and without weapons. Zombie xenomorphs (no, seriously) who cannot see but can sense motion stumble around in Hadley's Hope's sewage, and as you fumble around in the dark, you're unsure which alien husks are still alive, and which are dead. For a moment, this is terrifying, but then the first moving zombie xeno appears, begins glowing an irradiated green, and then runs toward something moving and explodes. Suddenly, the scary gives way to the silly, and any hope you might have had of being properly frightened just flies out the window.

The zombie xenos are dumb-looking, but really all of the game's xenos are dumb-acting. Far from the efficient killing machines of the movies, these xenos are clumsy, dimwitted, and seemingly incapable of handling even just a few broken-down marines. The AI will frequently bug out, so to speak, leaving xenos pathetically trying to crawl up stairs, getting hung up in doorways, or just standing at unremarkable distances, stoically, as you pump dozens of rounds into them. Human enemies aren't much better, though they usually are able to walk around basic obstacles and even use cover.

AI bugs are just one of the many technical issues that plague Colonial Marines. There are serious glitches to be found elsewhere, often in the vein of weird debug code popping into random gameplay sequences and then just disappearing, environments simply not loading properly, or character and xenomorph animations flipping out into spazzy, bizarre flurries of movement. It's ugly stuff made even uglier by the world surrounding it. Sure, the artists involved in this game's development nailed a lot of the little details from the movie, from the ship design of the Sulaco, to the decimated ruins of Hadley's Hope down on the planet. But those things all had reference material, something to copy from, rather than something to be outright created. Where the game is forced to fill in the margins is where it gets downright unpleasant. Character models are bug-eyed, emotionless, and generally poorly animated, while environments often look crusty and poorly lit. No, I don't mean in that "we're keeping it dark to maintain a sense of dread" kind of way. I mean in that "we're trying to keep your eyes off these years-old looking environmental textures" kind of way.

Some will undoubtedly complain that the single-player campaign, which can also be played cooperatively (more on that in a moment), doesn't take longer than maybe five hours to finish. However, I don't consider that to be one of the game's faults. In absence of a strong story, Colonial Marines already drags as it plods along, tossing xenomorph after xenomorph at you, struggling mightily to get you to all the different landmarks it figures you're itching to see while also maintaining some semblance of an atmosphere. As it is, the campaign is merely severely disappointing and often unpleasant. Were it any longer, it'd be be outright unbearable.

As for the co-op, it has all the hallmarks of a feature hastily tossed in late in a development cycle. Up to four players can experience this idiotic story together, but only one character is really acknowledged or even focused on for the duration. You don't take over the roles of AI teammates already embedded in the story, but rather other marines who simply do not exist otherwise. Worse, many levels were clearly not designed for multiple people. Corridors are cramped to the point of bursting, which makes particularly heated firefights against the xenos utterly incomprehensible. And that level I mentioned earlier, the one where you have no guns? Right, that still happens, but with multiple people, which is hilarious since characters will often warp to one another if they become too far separated. This will tip off the bad guys, which results in explosions of acid and death. The only time the co-op seems to function as intended is out on the surface of LV-426, where open spaces let you gain your bearings and actually work together properly. Unfortunately, you're still fighting the same dumb enemies, but at least it's an improvement.

This is Alex, a survivor of Aliens: Colonial Marines, signing off. Don't play this game.
This is Alex, a survivor of Aliens: Colonial Marines, signing off. Don't play this game.

Elsewhere, there is competitive multiplayer featuring teams of marines and xenomorphs. The playable xenomorphs are an interesting idea (that has, admittedly, been done better elsewhere), in that they can climb walls, have different attack classes (spitters can do ranged attacks, while lurkers can move more stealthily), and require a different sort of teamwork than playing as a marine. Unfortunately, too many of the game's multiplayer modes favor the marines, who are far better armed and better equipped to handle the xenos than the reverse. Xenos are remarkably easy to kill, which means the xenos are forced to stay stealthy. Doing so is easier said than done, and the lack of attack variety in the playable xenos eventually leads you to wonder if it's even worth the trouble. Nailing a marine the first few times is actually quite satisfying, but as matches wear on, it becomes far less so.

It's strange and depressing thing to consider a game like Aliens: Colonial Marines. Think of all the potential, the time, the effort, the budget used up over these last several years, only to produce something so deeply, fundamentally flawed in every facet of its execution. Instead of the properly reverent Aliens sequel Gearbox supposedly set out to make, they've shoved this awful, grotesque thing into the chest cavity of the very franchise that they purported to love. I kind of hope that disappoints them, because it sure as hell disappointed me.

Alex Navarro on Google+

384 Comments

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Mezmero

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Edited By Mezmero

I've been looking forward to this review and I was not disappointed. Alex's editorial brutality is a force to be reckoned with. If anything I would rather rewatch every single Alien movie back to back than play 4 hours of something so unrefined. It's times like this that I wish Alex still ran Screened so I can get a sweet Here's What You Missed video for the Alien film anthology. As bad as this game sounds something about that style reignites my interest in some of the best sci-fi horror in the history of cinema. Thank you and keep up the great work.

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videogamesarenotart

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@rox360: actually i know what it means and use it accordingly

they've been pandering to throwaway games that give the initial appeal of awe but do not follow through with it at all, have no production value, and no lasting appeal. most of their game of the year lists were comprised of games like this. they have no standards for their review so they reference their "experience" as if it is some one-off feeling that reviewers tend to get when their attention span has been reduced to nothing over the lifetime of judging a product made for children

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psykhophear

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Game over, man! Game over!

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AcidBrandon18

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Edited By AcidBrandon18

I'm still going to rent it. I just need to know!

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brundlefly

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Come on, Gearbox! Seven frakking years?

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prestonhedges

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@vitor said:

@nekrokreuz

said:

Many have chided Ridley Scott's recent sort-of-Alien-prequel Prometheus as a cynical, unnecessary retcon of the existing Alien canon that never quite justified its own existence.

Uh, who did? You? This is some Glenn Beck shit.

Uh, that movie was critically panned on release and drubbed by fans also. It very much seemed like any positive opinions were very much in the minority.

It looked pretty.

That's about as positive as it gets.

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bhlaab

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So... what's the spoiler cameo?

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Roger778

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@alkusanagi:

I know I'm in the minority here, but Prometheus was one of the best movies I saw last year.

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Roger778

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Edited By Roger778

Man, this is really depressing. I can't believe Gearbox messed up so badly on the development of this game.

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KlUMZeE

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Man, this makes me so sad. The idea of this game seemed awesome and I didn't want to believe all of the negative things I heard leading up to the release, but now that it's out, I don't even know how to express my disappointment.

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luthorcrow

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The quick look that went up last night was more than enough to predict this review. This game is dull, dumb and lack luster. First they retcon the space ship where it has no reason to be, retcon the same version of Bishop that is another planet, they retcon the facility that would have been leveled by the nuclear blast and finally they retcon the aliens in after they had also be vaporized in a nuclear blast. The story alone is train wreck of stupidity. But than to see Ryan spend over an hour shooting generic soldiers with AI so bad, that it looks like a game from 2001. What a stinking pile.

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Zephan

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Having never watched any of the films from the series, it was an interesting read how they appeared to have relied too much on the success of the film franchise as a whole with multiple references and not make it something that could stand by itself within the universe. Poor development does not help. It's a shame that the potential of a great story and game was lost.

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bitchypixels

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Starting off the site launch right with some Navarro rage.

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FaPaThY

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Edited By FaPaThY

This review is pretty spot-on with the SP/Co-op-side, but IMO the competitive MP is a lot better than the small and vague paragraph dedicated to it lets on.

Once you have a few Xeno levels to unlock some new moves/mutations/etc. and get the hang of the slightly janky wall climbing, you're pretty strong. Hell, I'd say the Xenomorphs are the OP ones here.

As for modes being unbalanced and favouring one side over the other, I don't see the problem. Especially on the objective-based maps and when a match consists of a round on both sides. On, say, Survival, the objective is to survive the longest against the Xenos, hence the name. It's not supposed to be easy for the CMs to live for the full 6min or whatever when death is permanent.

While I'm pretty bummed with how this game turned out, and would love to punch out Pitchford for all the lies he's spewed for this game, the MP at least saved it for me and offset the pain of handing $32 over to Sega/GBX. In its current state, I'd give this game 2 stars, a soft 3 after they patch the hell out of it.

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ThePhilatron

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I love reading all the Giant Bomb articles, but Alex easily comes across as the best writer of the bunch.

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fiberpay

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Edited By fiberpay

Yep, as with a lot of games based off movies, you might as well just watch the movie as they are usually better.

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Legion_

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How does Gearbox keep messing up on everything EXCEPT Borderlands?

Brothers in Arms is freaking brilliant.

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umdesch4

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One star? Ouch.

I guess that's why they played it for almost an hour and a half on that quick look. Because that's how shitty games work right? you keep playing them for an hour and a half.

Well, the answer to that was completely obvious to anyone who was watching. They felt they had a duty to the viewers to show an actual alien in this Aliens game, and since the first 46-47 minutes of that quick look had exactly zero aliens in it, the whole thing ended up running way longer than they had planned. Hence why the discussion strayed so far away from the actual game while they were showing it. There was simply nothing new to say after a while. This game is like a power failure during the Superbowl.

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JackColt

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Hot damn, @alex, you are truly at your best when you dislike the game you're reviewing.
Fan-fucking-tastic write-up!

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delorean99947

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Edited By delorean99947

@sharpless: didn't Gearbox just pick up Duke Nukem and Aliens to finish them?

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big_jon

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It's pretty retarded how they handled the aliens....

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tourgen

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Edited By tourgen

well at least reading the review was fun. I was hoping for a good Aliens game too though.

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deactivated-5c7ea8553cb72

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BRB, going to watch Alien and Aliens.

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CaptRocketblaze

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Thanks, Alex.

Sorry, Drew.

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Vrikk

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Sad that this game sucks so much.

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Cold_Wolven

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Edited By Cold_Wolven

A great way for Alex to start the year in reviews than with a one star game. Gearbox what are you doing? First Duke and now this, don't be resurrecting anymore games from now on.

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Scotto

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@rox360: actually i know what it means and use it accordingly

they've been pandering to throwaway games that give the initial appeal of awe but do not follow through with it at all, have no production value, and no lasting appeal. most of their game of the year lists were comprised of games like this. they have no standards for their review so they reference their "experience" as if it is some one-off feeling that reviewers tend to get when their attention span has been reduced to nothing over the lifetime of judging a product made for children

They've been PANDERING to them?

All you're demonstrating is your own inability to accept that some people don't see portable or mobile games in the same light you do. Every time they've had developers submit top 10 lists at the end of the year, those developers have always had a few little-known flash or mobile games on their list - I guess the people who make your games are all "pandering" fuckwits who don't know what they are talking about, either.

Goddamn, what an intemperate douchebag.

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joesson

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I like some of what Gearbox does (I beat every piece of BL and BL2 DLC released at least once) but I now know to never trust what Randy Pitchford has to say about a game he is making.

If he knew it was bad and still promoted it I understand that was his job and he had to do it, but how many times do you expect to try to get us to give you money for products this bad before people ignore you and see your voice as unreliable?

If he had no idea this was terrible then how can I trust your taste in games when you say something is god in the future?

It starts to become a case of being either a liar or ignorant of what a quality product is and neither of those is particularly desirable in a salesman.

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Fearbeard

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Still gonna rent it.

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Evansoft

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@birthwild said:

wait, no more review drawings of the reviewer? :( bums me out more than the game.

I second the return of reviewer avatars. Love the rest of the redesign though!

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rcath

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Edited By rcath

@nekrokreuz: Whoa, I liked Prometheus but lets be serious, that movie has script issues.

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deerokus

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@sharpless: didn't Gearbox just pick up Duke Nukem and Aliens to finish them?

Not Aliens. The previous Colonial Marines that was canned was an entirely different game. This was their game from the start - or at least it was supposed to be, instead it seems they took Sega's cash and farmed it out to inferior studios.

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avidwriter

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See I think they knew this was going to be shit so they really pushed the hype to make the $ on the pre-orders. Success I think. What did we all learn? Never pre-order.

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Krakn3Dfx

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Edited By Krakn3Dfx

@delorean99947: My impression reading up on this situation is that Gearbox offered to do A:CM for Sega and in the process got an Obsidian developed Aliens RPG shut down. Gearbox has been pushing the game back for years, got Borderlands out there, it became a huge success, and A:CM became a distant concern because they wanted to get Borderland 2 out. Eventually they farmed a lot of it out to other companies, kept pushing it, and then, when Sega was likely getting ready to pursue legal action against GBX for not having a game ready, they pushed this out the door to keep that from happening.

It's pretty disgusting, especially the way Pitchford made this sound like it was going to be an amazing experience and how he sat in Ridley Scott's office and read the Aliens bible and how GBX are supposedly huge fans of the Alien universe. I really hope this hurts them in the long run especially after doing pretty much the exact same thing with DNF.

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Edited By KaneRobot

@dvorak said:
@kanerobot said:

More like FAILiens. Right folks??

No. And you should be extremely ashamed of yourself.

I regret nothing.

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beard_of_zeus

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Edited By beard_of_zeus

Sounds like I should just go replay Aliens Infestation instead. Now that's a good Aliens game! It manages to be incredibly tense (even on that tiny DS screen) because of the permadeath elements and the fact that even normal enemies will fuck you up if you aren't careful.

Plus, you can unlock Bishop's knife trick as an arcade game! Awesome, right?

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beforet

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Not terribly sure this is related, but the bicep of the guy in the picture looks like a Xenomorph.

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jblp

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Oh god please no. Please tell me it's not Paul Reiser.

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AiurFlux

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Apparently all of the footage that they used in promotional things like at E3 wasn't even in the game. So people bought this game sight unseen based off of lies, deception, and I assume that there were review embargoes in place to prevent the press from telling people how shitty this product really is. Brings up an interesting thought of is this false advertisement. I mean the game was the number 1 purchase on Steam the day before release and they didn't release ANYTHING that was true to the final product that people ended up getting. The only thing they did get for their money was a shitty game and a stupid fucking gun.

Stop pre-ordering things you dopes. All you're doing is contributing to bad business.

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omatictoast

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A star for every innovative / exciting concept presented in this game...

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stryker1121

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Looked up the "spoiler cameo" and it's a doozy. Not quite sure how it fits into the Aliens universe or how it retcons the next film. If anyone wants to spill all the details in spoiler tags, feel free to PM me.

Still cannot believe Aliens is not only a generic corridor shooter, but a broken, incompetent corridor shooter. How do you fuck up an almost foolproof concept?!

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1p

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Edited By 1p

Woah. Didn't see this one coming.

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roodog

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With the amount of money and time wasted on this game I'm surprised it even gets a star.

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Allison

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@krakn3dfx: Really the takeaway is fuck Randy Pitchford. Dude is toxin for the video game industry.

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Chris

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Edited By Chris

The general crapness of this game will never stopp bumming me out.

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El_Galant

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Can't believe this still happens in 2013...where are the Game Testers??!

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benpicko

2020

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No, this is still better than Prometheus...

Prometheus is at least beautifully shot, if not anything else.

And no, there isn't anything else.

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dezvous

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@rcath: The deleted scenes helped clear up quite a lot and make some of the more hammy lines more believable with the added context. In particular the "father" line, doesn't seem like it's just so completely forced and coming out of nowhere.

Have you watched them? I'd love a directors cut with most of them added in there.

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SadisticWOlf

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Edited By SadisticWOlf

This game is getting pounded by critics. It seems to be an easy outlet of reviewer angst, targeting a bad game with bad review scores so that when those reviewers can feel better about themselves when they are inevitably forced to give sevens to games that deserve much lower, if not for their expensive marketing campaigns.

Not that I'm calling out Alex, he'll score bad games everywhere he sees them. But the dogpiling by the media at large is looking like a desperate attempt to regain credibility.