The Very Online Show 06: Food Crimes

Buh, what. I'm repulsed by what I see in the thumbnail but I also can't look away.

That first thing they watch makes me think of DIY crimes too.

The beefaroni pie seems like it might almost work if it wasn't for the milk

why the miiiiillllllkkkk

Hi

MVP of this series is Lucy's immaculate eyebrow game.

My spoken out loud reaction to the Spaghettios Lady, "What in the white fuckery is this shit!?"

That pie looks like garmonbozia from Twin Peaks.

I hate these kinds of videos so much. Honestly I think they should be required to put those disclaimers in the video itself.

Link to the Eater article mentioned for those looking for it. Pretty good read!

In the US, "thrush" can mean a yeast infection but almost always in reference to infants. Sounds like @jerf didn't take any parenting classes (or has purged the memories) cause that shit is burned into my brain.

I watch Nikocado commit food crime every day.

Food waste is honestly one of the most angering things possible to me, I am probably not gonna react well to this week's episode.

[edit] Ah, okay I'm angry for a whole other (but more reasonable) reasons.

[edit2] God, I love Voidburger's editing.

The crew here are absolutely zeroing in on what it is about this that is gross on a moral level. Seeing the naked cynicism of a broken internet built to serve attention as a commodity by monolithic platforms. The scope and scale when you look at the numbers leaves you feeling pretty depressed and rightly so.

I think the organized effort behind the Rick Lax network is a fascinating angle to it.

I hate how much of this is not only gross for the fetishization angle that Lucy nailed, but also because of how much FOOD IT WASTES.

It just boils my blood seeing so much good food get wasted because views. Ugh. Great episode as always but my jimmies are really rustled!

Smoked meats

Other than the milk I'd eat the first one with no complaints

Actually. I rather watch food crimes 24/7 than Cooking with Babitch or Hot Ones even once.

I recently watched a video (more specifically about the ones where they spread the food on the counter Coldstone style) that obviously resulted in the same place, but it's fun to see other takes. When I first saw these in the wild I thought they were supposed to be straightface parodies of cooking hacks and aside from the waste thought it was funny in an infuriating, anarchist way, then suspected the fetish thing, but knowing it is pure greedy cynicism makes it 100% gross. Great video!

The fetish angle is spot on though.

Least hottest take: Internet is manipulative.

Although i might spend more time than most understanding and trying to curb the algos to my favor, i fear too much people are to unaware how all of this works and it makes them some kind of hostage.

I feel like they dropped the ball not including this infamous toilet food hack:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaGmGiY5PpQ

Can't believe how many of ya'll have all forgotten this.

Fantastic episode but I can't help but think it's missing one more connection about these outrage/disgust Facebook pages: How they sometimes come to an end. Any FB page with many followers is monetarily valuable. Sometimes these pages are sold to another party and completely changed to other content overnight while maintaining all the followers. Sometimes that other content is political disinformation, propaganda, or manipulation. There were reports of outside actors using exactly this method to influence the US election circa 2016.

Sweet Baby Ray's

@the_t: I was just about to say, let us not come to this, of all websites, and start casting stones.

This is another great investigation of the internet sewer. The only way this hacking of the brain to make money stops is people becoming more media literate and this show makes that happen.

@zetetic: This might feel so upsetting because while these particular grifters are just doing weird nonsense with their mind hacking, other, more nefarious people aren't using this same kind of outrage machine as inconsequentially.

@the_t@toug - That video is easily why Mr. Ryan Davis is my #1 GB Duder. He just reaches in and taking care to properly dispose of the crust after the failed flushing attempts. This coming from an janitor who regularly wonders why university American football athletes can't figure out how to properly flush IR-activated-flushing toilets.

A terrifying episode. I still watched it. I didn't know it was halloween already.

Thank you for this one- these people drive me nuts

Fantastic episode. From my point of view, the biggest problem with this network (and others like it) is that they're spending time and effort creating worthless garbage, and it's its just filling up the algorithm slots that could have actual cool content in it. That's the real reason these 'content' farms are cancer, they use up the attention "oxygen" that actual cool stuff needs.

I also would have like to hear more about what the 'end game' is. Like how does 1 billion views convert to dollars. Is it just ad share revenue like youtube?

There were a lot more comments than I expected, before someone posted the GB toilet pie.

Between the toilet pie and the Bombcast's early energy drink reviews (let alone the many terrible food advice & opinions shared over the years on streams and podcasts), this site was basically founded on the principles of food crime.

this was very upsetting

thank you as always, online crew

In addition to the GB toilet pastry incident, Ryan recounted an interesting experience with a cake that seems quite relevant

I felt like we were unraveling a conspiracy theory the entire time. Great episode!

@the_t: I have pooped in that specific toilet so many times and each time I think of this video.

This was a trip. It would be great to get links to the mentioned articles!

Sweet baby ray's

That series of videos titled "She got so wet!" and "She got so mad!" is some real "Ow my balls!" from Idiocracy stuff.

I wonder what the thought process is on the creation side of these food crime videos. Like is it just an understanding of video title SEO, and also what kind of food fetishism people are into, and then you basically just keep making the same 3 video ideas over and over again with minor variations? What a life.

I always think it must be weird to explain your job to friends and family if you're a full-time Twitch streamer or Youtuber or whatever, but it's gotta be extra weird if your full-time job is making kinda scummy, maybe-disguised-fetish, kinda-the-same-every-week videos for Youtube/Facebook/TikTok.

Those food videos give me the same distinct feeling of discomfort that those creepy bot-generated CG cartoons with Marvel and Disney characters on YouTube do. *shivers*

I keep watching hoping the next time it drops in its the "Mark, give me the zucc'" clip instead. So many memes were created just from that particular stream.

I love this show so much lol

these types of videos are maddening! nothing pisses me off more than people on the internet who make videos/tweets/any kind of content that commits to something absurd, or some ridiculous hot take, and pretends to be completely serious about it with the sole intention of making other people angry, under the guise of "satire".

Shameless plug for my youtube channel where I have interesting cooking techniques

Would love to see a video on those prank and stunt groups like MrBeast on youtube who have a bazillion views and how there are weird stories about all of those groups having some controversy either dealing with assault or abuse or crime or whatnot. Or also, how celebs like him and Wiz Khalifa are starting restaurants.