Hopefully Hitman: Absolution Is Nothing Like This Trailer

The whole 'They are assassins! This is totally awesome!' argument kind of falls apart when you notice they are wearing stiletto platform heels. What kind of moron 'Professional Assassin' would think that a. Having your entire hit team just walk across the parking lot in the most obvious getup possible, and b. wearing clothes that are next to impossible to fight in, would be a good idea?

http://www.giantbomb.com/forums/general-discussion/30/hitman-absolution-will-be-less-sandboxy-discussed-by-developer/548698/#14

^ Also relevant. Apparently the first games had too much freedom and trail-and-error, need to streamline that shit.

What the fuck is this shit?

@dragonboss said:

I find it interesting that majority of the comments are saying that this looks like shit and apparently nobody noticed the International Contract Agency tattoos the "nuns" had. Obviously they are all assassins (actually they remind me more of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad), possibly hinting towards a similar thing to the rival assassins in Blood Money.

can't speak for everyone, but i certainly didn't find this shit offensive because i couldn't grasp its proper place in the hitman canon. they're appealing to the caveman inside of you, and you're lapping it up.

In Hitman 2 weren't you working for a priest? Maybe this somehow ties into that.

SOLD!!!

@wrecks said:

Extreme violence against women is totally cool if they are dressed as slutty nuns trying to kill you. Totally cool.

lol

I find it interesting that majority of the comments are saying that this looks like shit and apparently nobody noticed the International Contract Agency tattoos the "nuns" had. Obviously they are all assassins (actually they remind me more of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad), possibly hinting towards a similar thing to the rival assassins in Blood Money.

That trailer was a lot better when I wasnt listening to the audio.

Extreme violence against women is totally cool if they are dressed as slutty nuns trying to kill you. Totally cool.

@ILuvMsMarvel: Was just thinking the same thing xD

As long as this game is split up offers open ended gameplay allowing me to come up with creative ways to approach targets then this game will be great.

What if they did make it like this? And it was super-serious about it.

This trailer looks pretty awesome, and please remember it isn't indicative at all of what the game play will look like. I bet this is just to showcase that now somebody is hunting Agent 47.

I have no idea why there is hate for this trailer. I can't wait to see new gameplay and to see if they have ruined it or not.

Fuck that, I hope that's exactly what this game is.

I can't believe we're making fun of this. This is fucking incredible. Do you guys not remember the absurdity of some of the Hitman Blood Money targets? People dressed up like birds?

The cinematography in this trailer is mind-blowing. What a work of art. Love it.

Oh man unintentional hilarity. I just clicked play without putting in my age and the pop-up message was apt to say the least.

What if they did make it like this? And it was super-serious about it.

Am I reading too much into this or was the ending tagline, "The Original Assassin" kind of a shot at Assassin's Creed or something?

@warxsnake said:

So like, Hitman Blood money had a mission during mardi gras where you killed people in bird suits. What's the problem with this?

People are morons.

I didn't think there would be another trailer this year as awful as that Ghost Recon Coco trailer.

I was wrong.

Man, that trailer was fucking awesome. As a die hard Hitman fan from the first game I have total trust in what IO will do. I mean it's a trailer, they got to make it look exciting so they can sell it to as many people as possible.

Also, did you see that nose break on the back of 47's head!?

I find it interesting that majority of the comments are saying that this looks like shit and apparently nobody noticed the International Contract Agency tattoos the "nuns" had. Obviously they are all assassins (actually they remind me more of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad), possibly hinting towards a similar thing to the rival assassins in Blood Money.

So like, Hitman Blood money had a mission during mardi gras where you killed people in bird suits. What's the problem with this?

Hey, it could be worse they could have nuns in the.... oh wait.

flaming trash.

hot garbage.

horrible.

Am I reading too much into this or was the ending tagline, "The Original Assassin" kind of a shot at Assassin's Creed or something?

I never played Hitman and this trailer offends even me.

I want his car...

There's something to be said about the sexualization of violence in videogames, I'm tellin you people.

well that was interesting.

@ILuvMsMarvel said:

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I started watching this.

Part of the movie takes place on a school bus, and this starts with the nuns walking at camera with a school bus behind them.

I think I saw a trailer for Nude Nuns with Big Guns when I was watching Bowlin in Her Colon 3.

The part where he was strangling fools was the only part that seemed Hitman-y to me.

Sure why not?

Hot nuns dressed as strippers under their robes. Exactly what I'm into. Sold.

@ILuvMsMarvel said:

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I started watching this.

Part of the movie takes place on a school bus, and this starts with the nuns walking at camera with a school bus behind them.

I just looked that up and apparently Nunsploitation is a genre? I... um... I don't know, man.

I think the trailer looked badass. I've never played a Hitman game, but this looks cool.

I always said that what the Hitman series was missing was latex clad bdsm nun assassins.

I had forgotten to put in my age in the age gate since changing computers, couldn't have gotten "that message" in a more appropriate video though.

Also, kind of unusual to see a bunch of women so brutally offed in a trailer.

It's funny because this trailer contains none of the things that make Hitman awesome.

Oh. Oh man.

Okay...why are they wearing high-heeled platform shoes? And where did all that rain come from?

@Presto said:

Didn't blood money have a mission where you infiltrated a redneck wedding? And didn't contracts have a mission where you infiltrated a party held by a meat baron who is fat like jabba the hutt?

Yes and yes. And you didn't even get mention the freaky part of the latter assignment (thanks for that, by the way).

@whylessness: The inside of an ass

Everything aside from the sexy nuns and gun fight was cool.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I started watching this.

Part of the movie takes place on a school bus, and this starts with the nuns walking at camera with a school bus behind them.

I dont get why ppl bitching about this trailer ? And what is wrong if the game is like this trailer, it awesome !!

Huh.

I thought this was going to be like Assassin's Creed for a second where Agent 47 hides within a group of nuns for some reason dressed up as a nun or as a priest.

You guys know nothing about the context. Maybe a bunch of whores want to get back at 47 for something, and it just happened to "Catholic School Night" at the strip club.