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New Lost & Damned Trailer: My, How Far We've Come

New GTA IV footage has polygonal wang in it.

In honor of President's Day, we thought it appropriate to take a look back at video game penis. How have male bits been represented in the interactive medium over the years? While this is by no means an exhaustive tour through the annals of history, there have been some notable examples here and there.

Custer's Revenge: Naked cowboy rapes just as fast as you can push the fire button on your joystick.

No Caption Provided
Stroker: If we were to judge simply on the basis of what percentage of the screen is taken up by thick man-rod, this Commodore 64 classic probably wins. As a youth, this game was abso-frickin-lutely hilarious. Today? Still hilarious.
No Caption Provided
Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis: While technically not a man's penis, there's no denying that Jesper was a total dick.

No Caption Provided
That brings us to today's footage for the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV episode, The Lost & Damned. Due out tonight at midnight Pacific time, the game will feature all sorts of new missions and dialogue. Including this little number that leaves nothing to the imagination. Let's watch!

  


Can't wait to see what sort of reaction this brand of nudity gets.
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

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jeff

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Edited By jeff
In honor of President's Day, we thought it appropriate to take a look back at video game penis. How have male bits been represented in the interactive medium over the years? While this is by no means an exhaustive tour through the annals of history, there have been some notable examples here and there.

Custer's Revenge: Naked cowboy rapes just as fast as you can push the fire button on your joystick.

No Caption Provided
Stroker: If we were to judge simply on the basis of what percentage of the screen is taken up by thick man-rod, this Commodore 64 classic probably wins. As a youth, this game was abso-frickin-lutely hilarious. Today? Still hilarious.
No Caption Provided
Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis: While technically not a man's penis, there's no denying that Jesper was a total dick.

No Caption Provided
That brings us to today's footage for the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV episode, The Lost & Damned. Due out tonight at midnight Pacific time, the game will feature all sorts of new missions and dialogue. Including this little number that leaves nothing to the imagination. Let's watch!

  


Can't wait to see what sort of reaction this brand of nudity gets.
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DavidSnakes

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Edited By DavidSnakes

Dude

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Lies

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Edited By Lies

Somebody get Jack Thompson on the line!

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someguy890

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Edited By someguy890

Umm...OK?

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giyanks22

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Edited By giyanks22

Wow....holy lord.

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vaiz

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Edited By vaiz

Nothing is sacred.

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Alphazero

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He's a big, bright, shining star.

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Hamz

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The Mighty Boosh!

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Ruukie

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The videos on 1up never seem to work for me!

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DavidSnakes

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Edited By DavidSnakes

Love the way they saved it for the end.  I was on the edge of my seat the whole time waiting for it.

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MagicKiwi

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Edited By MagicKiwi

HOTTT

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Ryan

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Edited By Ryan  Staff

Read into this however you want, but I think this is fan-freakin-tas-freakin-tick. Why use your M rating to pander when you can use it to provoke?

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bobpie24

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.....

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vaiz

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Edited By vaiz

Ryan likes virtual pen0r =(.

Just kidding, I wouldn't insinuate such a thing.

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Hamz

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Edited By Hamz
Ryan said:
"Read into this however you want, but I think this is fan-freakin-tas-freakin-tick. Why use your M rating to pander when you can use it to provoke?
"
Agreed. If its already on the M rating then shit, push it to the limit of the rating. Don't shy away from it.
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kboy

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Edited By kboy

Boy, it's a good thing ol' Jack Thompson is disbarred in Florida, huh?

No doubt he'd use this for his burning cross against Rockstar. Funny, albeit, kinda uncomfortable.

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albedos_shadow

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Edited By albedos_shadow

Like I said earlier, this wouldn't bother me if it was done as just kind of an aside, like "Oh, look, there's a penis in this game." Instead, we get "OMG, LOOK AT THAT DUDE'S WANG, AREN'T WE CRAZY!"

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Diamond

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Edited By Diamond

I bet they can get away with more without the risk of getting pulled from store shelves and without kids being able to pick the game up off store shelves (except those code card things).

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JunkanooPunch

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wtf..... seriously.... wtf...

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malxmusician212

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Edited By malxmusician212

uncalled for................

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thomasmolby

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Edited By thomasmolby

"Oh, it's just a little penis..."

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WallacetheGreat

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Edited By WallacetheGreat

*waits for Fox News segment*

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Systech

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Edited By Systech

Hide it from the children!

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Edited By jakob187
Ryan said:
"Read into this however you want, but I think this is fan-freakin-tas-freakin-tick. Why use your M rating to pander when you can use it to provoke?"
There's a difference between provoking and having absolutely no reason to do something like this, Ryan.  The whole scene worked fine without seeing his weiner.  If there had been a reason, sure.  Maybe they're trying to use the scene to say "check it out, this dood's got a small dick and he's a politician", but I didn't really see any reason for the scene to be there at all.  It's simply just Rockstar trying to put in shock factor that holds absolutely no purpose to the story or the gameplay.

In other words, it's stupid.  If it had some purpose, then whatever.  When it comes down to it though, it's Rockstar, and they're gonna do whatever they want...including making the voice acting for the biker dood SUCK ASS!
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tekmojo

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Edited By tekmojo

Dude....

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Manachild

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ROFL, jesus christ.....

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Captain_Fookup

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Edited By Captain_Fookup

Good Rockstar is always pushing the limit, perhaps later down the line GTA will have Hot Coffee without the mod.

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Heartagram

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Edited By Heartagram

I'm just a bit dissapointed by the penis physics i mean come on we've come so far with breasts jiggling around why cant we get some awesome cock physics AMIRITE?!

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BoG

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Edited By BoG

Not bad, Rockstar! But can you do it again?


Also, you forgot Persona 4:

No Caption Provided


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Rasgueado

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Edited By Rasgueado

The most vitriolic reactions usually come from men in cases like this. It always amazes me... I mean. Men see penises every day. I don't know why everyone is so terrified of it. I'm guessing that's why they're doing it. They don't want to let Judd Apatow have all the fun I guess.

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bulletclip6

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Edited By bulletclip6

good damn. next gen penis. only rockstar could pull it off. but i want vag shots next time.

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Bad_JuJu

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Edited By Bad_JuJu

That brings a new meaning to Pixel Junk.  ROFL

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FuzzYLemoN

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Edited By FuzzYLemoN

I don't really see the point... but kudos to Rockstar for pushing the envelope I guess.

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JJOR64

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Edited By JJOR64

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!  I got that out of the way now......

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TheGamerGeek

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That man has to much hair, I tell ya!

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SilverArrows

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Edited By SilverArrows

It was funny, but I really did not need to see that.
It could have been funnier.

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agent_lost

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dude, no really dude.

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IncredibleBulk92

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Edited By IncredibleBulk92

It's sad that Rockstar has to use this kind of stuff for publicity.  Their good at making games, they don't need to rely on surrounding their games with controversy just so kids think it's cool to buy their games.  I think I've lost interest in this.  Not that I had too much to begin with

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PLanter

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Edited By PLanter

Nice finaly a reason to have an M rating 

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Edited By RipTheVeins

and I thought Rockstar was starting to go a little soft on us...

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Edited By BoG
Bad_JuJu said:
"That brings a new meaning to Pixel Junk.  ROFL"
That was actually pretty good. Gratz.
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Edited By jakob187
TheGamerGeek said:
"That man has to much hair, I tell ya!"
Maybe he's working on a sweet V going from his chest pubes to his ball 'fro.  Who are you to judge?

But yes, he does have too much hair.  -_-
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BrittonPeele

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Edited By BrittonPeele

*shiver*

I'll stand behind Rockstar's right to show this, especially in an "M" rated game (yep, it's totally permissable as long as there 'aint none of that graphic sex), but did I WANT to see it? Bleh, no...

Still, short (in more ways than one!) and done kinda humorously.

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SuperMooseman

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Edited By SuperMooseman
jakob187 said:
"Ryan said:
"Read into this however you want, but I think this is fan-freakin-tas-freakin-tick. Why use your M rating to pander when you can use it to provoke?"
There's a difference between provoking and having absolutely no reason to do something like this, Ryan.  The whole scene worked fine without seeing his weiner.  If there had been a reason, sure.  Maybe they're trying to use the scene to say "check it out, this dood's got a small dick and he's a politician", but I didn't really see any reason for the scene to be there at all.  It's simply just Rockstar trying to put in shock factor that holds absolutely no purpose to the story or the gameplay.

In other words, it's stupid.  If it had some purpose, then whatever.  When it comes down to it though, it's Rockstar, and they're gonna do whatever they want...including making the voice acting for the biker dood SUCK ASS!"
Of course it is! :D Just Rockstar trying to get publicity by saying "hey, there is a penis in our game" -- and it worked.
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RedSox8933

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Edited By RedSox8933

wow. i love how rockstar loves to create controversy. it makes playing their games a whole lot more interesting.

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Dreamfall31

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Edited By Dreamfall31

was it really necessary? eh, oh well.  I'm a PS3 owner so I won't be able to get Lost and Damned.

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Scooper

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Edited By Scooper
GAY SEXUAL CONTENT
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Travis

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Edited By Travis

So what?  M-rated DLC, they can get away with it..  It's not like there is a graphic, hardcore sex scene..  You just see some guy's junk for a few seconds..  I don't get what the big deal is.

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Kane

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Edited By Kane

im glad they did this...thats all im going to say