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This Wiik on WiiWare/DSiWare, May 24th 2010

You like that? I'll be here all wiik!

Seven games! Seven different games for WiiWare and DSiWare this week! While most game publishers are gearing up for the announcement and push of their holiday lineup at the Electronic Entertainment Expo Expo, Nintendo is busy releasing downloadable games for your handheld and console made by Nintendo! And it's certainly the right time for Nintendo to release these games, because it's not like there are a ton of major retail releases taking up our gaming hours. The dearth of games ends this week, friends! Here are the downloadable games that will come out for WiiWare and DSiWare during the week of May 24th, 2010!
 

WiiWare

 Look at those trax of light!
 Look at those trax of light!
Art Style: light trax
Published by Nintendo
Price: 600 Wii Points
Players: 1
 
The Art Style series returns to the Wii, apparently just in time for the release of the Tron movie. light trax is a racing game that
shifts between 2D and 3D perspectives as you dodge obstacles and race your opponents. Oh, and You Are The White Line! 
Sounds like a totally standard racing game, but it's that clean, vector graphics-inspired look that has me interested. Well, more interested than the other downloadable titles this week.
 
 All I see is a missed opportunity.
 All I see is a missed opportunity.
Manic Monkey Mayhem
Published by The Code Monkeys Ltd.
Price: 800 Wii Points
Players: 1-4
 
I get the feeling that whenever a developer throws a playable monkey into a game, they're counting on people still associating monkeys with, "WACKY CRAZY FUN! WHAT WILL THOSE NUTTY MONKEYS DO NEXT?" Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that monkeys aren't just a developer shorthand for "crazy." Worst of all, this 3rd person shooter for the Wii seems to feature monkeys engaged in combat with other monkeys using...bananas.  I'll just say it: Why aren't those monkeys throwing poop?

 THERE ARE SNAKES IN MY BODY!!!
 THERE ARE SNAKES IN MY BODY!!!
Viral Survival
Published by NIS America
Price: 500 Wii Points
Players: 1
 
I had to stare at the screenshots and description for a long time before I figured out that this was a human body-themed take on Snake. Yep. Just Snake. 
 

DSiWare

 I wasn't aware that was what tank circuits looked like.
 I wasn't aware that was what tank circuits looked like.
Advanced Circuits
Published by BiP Media
Price: 200 DSi Points
Players: 1
 
A puzzle game where you connect circuits on a puzzle grid. Features "A tutorial, hints and tips and even the solution if you feel like giving up." So you can have that "I just won!" feeling without any of that pesky "Doing anything."  
 
Metal Torrent
Published by Nintendo
Price: 500 DSi Points
Players: 1
 Why wouldn't you use both screens for a vertically oriented shooter?
 Why wouldn't you use both screens for a vertically oriented shooter?
 
I did not have to stare at screenshots for a long time before I figured out this was a top-down shooter that looks heavily inspired by Raiden. But you do collect energy cubes to refill your energy. So, there's that.
 
World Poker Tour Texas Hold 'Em
Published by Hands-On Mobile
Price: 500 DSi Points
Players: 1-6
 
If Hands-On Mobile can't be bothered to properly punctuate the title to their poker game, why should I be bothered to write about it?
 
Real Crimes: Jack The Ripper
Published by Virtual Playground
Price: 800 DSi Points
Players: 1
 This game will tell me.
 This game will tell me.
 
God bless the men and women who write press releases. Seriously, I can't thank them enough. The PR folks who toil day in and day out, writing press releases for games people don't care about and sending them to people who ignore them; they are the true heroes. 
 
And every once in a while, the stars will align, the winds will be just right, and they have the opportunity to write a press release quote that is perfect.
 
I quote: 

Was Jack a doctor, a royal prince, a barber or something else? Was he mad? This game will tell you.

Hell. Yes. I want video games to tell me the answers to pressing questions. Why doesn't every press release end like that? Imagine a Super Mario Galaxy 2 press release in that format:
 

Will Mario collect the stars, defeat Bowser and rescue Princess Peach? This game will tell you.

Or how about Blur?
 

Can you and your racing crew collect enough lights and fans to get to the top? This game will tell you.

Thank you Nintendo, Virtual Playground, and everyone who worked on this press release. Your hidden object game brightened my day.
 
And those are your Nintendo downloads for the week of May 24th! Which of these games will you be ignoring, and which ones will you just forget about as soon as you leave the page?

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mattbodega

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Edited By mattbodega

Seven games! Seven different games for WiiWare and DSiWare this week! While most game publishers are gearing up for the announcement and push of their holiday lineup at the Electronic Entertainment Expo Expo, Nintendo is busy releasing downloadable games for your handheld and console made by Nintendo! And it's certainly the right time for Nintendo to release these games, because it's not like there are a ton of major retail releases taking up our gaming hours. The dearth of games ends this week, friends! Here are the downloadable games that will come out for WiiWare and DSiWare during the week of May 24th, 2010!
 

WiiWare

 Look at those trax of light!
 Look at those trax of light!
Art Style: light trax
Published by Nintendo
Price: 600 Wii Points
Players: 1
 
The Art Style series returns to the Wii, apparently just in time for the release of the Tron movie. light trax is a racing game that
shifts between 2D and 3D perspectives as you dodge obstacles and race your opponents. Oh, and You Are The White Line! 
Sounds like a totally standard racing game, but it's that clean, vector graphics-inspired look that has me interested. Well, more interested than the other downloadable titles this week.
 
 All I see is a missed opportunity.
 All I see is a missed opportunity.
Manic Monkey Mayhem
Published by The Code Monkeys Ltd.
Price: 800 Wii Points
Players: 1-4
 
I get the feeling that whenever a developer throws a playable monkey into a game, they're counting on people still associating monkeys with, "WACKY CRAZY FUN! WHAT WILL THOSE NUTTY MONKEYS DO NEXT?" Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that monkeys aren't just a developer shorthand for "crazy." Worst of all, this 3rd person shooter for the Wii seems to feature monkeys engaged in combat with other monkeys using...bananas.  I'll just say it: Why aren't those monkeys throwing poop?

 THERE ARE SNAKES IN MY BODY!!!
 THERE ARE SNAKES IN MY BODY!!!
Viral Survival
Published by NIS America
Price: 500 Wii Points
Players: 1
 
I had to stare at the screenshots and description for a long time before I figured out that this was a human body-themed take on Snake. Yep. Just Snake. 
 

DSiWare

 I wasn't aware that was what tank circuits looked like.
 I wasn't aware that was what tank circuits looked like.
Advanced Circuits
Published by BiP Media
Price: 200 DSi Points
Players: 1
 
A puzzle game where you connect circuits on a puzzle grid. Features "A tutorial, hints and tips and even the solution if you feel like giving up." So you can have that "I just won!" feeling without any of that pesky "Doing anything."  
 
Metal Torrent
Published by Nintendo
Price: 500 DSi Points
Players: 1
 Why wouldn't you use both screens for a vertically oriented shooter?
 Why wouldn't you use both screens for a vertically oriented shooter?
 
I did not have to stare at screenshots for a long time before I figured out this was a top-down shooter that looks heavily inspired by Raiden. But you do collect energy cubes to refill your energy. So, there's that.
 
World Poker Tour Texas Hold 'Em
Published by Hands-On Mobile
Price: 500 DSi Points
Players: 1-6
 
If Hands-On Mobile can't be bothered to properly punctuate the title to their poker game, why should I be bothered to write about it?
 
Real Crimes: Jack The Ripper
Published by Virtual Playground
Price: 800 DSi Points
Players: 1
 This game will tell me.
 This game will tell me.
 
God bless the men and women who write press releases. Seriously, I can't thank them enough. The PR folks who toil day in and day out, writing press releases for games people don't care about and sending them to people who ignore them; they are the true heroes. 
 
And every once in a while, the stars will align, the winds will be just right, and they have the opportunity to write a press release quote that is perfect.
 
I quote: 

Was Jack a doctor, a royal prince, a barber or something else? Was he mad? This game will tell you.

Hell. Yes. I want video games to tell me the answers to pressing questions. Why doesn't every press release end like that? Imagine a Super Mario Galaxy 2 press release in that format:
 

Will Mario collect the stars, defeat Bowser and rescue Princess Peach? This game will tell you.

Or how about Blur?
 

Can you and your racing crew collect enough lights and fans to get to the top? This game will tell you.

Thank you Nintendo, Virtual Playground, and everyone who worked on this press release. Your hidden object game brightened my day.
 
And those are your Nintendo downloads for the week of May 24th! Which of these games will you be ignoring, and which ones will you just forget about as soon as you leave the page?
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Ataxia

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Edited By Ataxia

yay

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haoshiro

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dang you!

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luce

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Edited By luce

oh noes

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m10todd

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so wiik
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shinluis

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Edited By shinluis

LOL Matt. Awesome strategic linking at the news story.
You're pretty gooood *makes Ocelot hand gesture* at this

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Pazy

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Edited By Pazy

I actually read every world in this article, go You!

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Hamz

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Edited By Hamz

Kudos for the article title, it truly is the right kind of Giant Bomb humour we expect from you! :P
 
Nice write up too, bout time things like this hit the airwaves a bit more. I gotta know what's out there that may one day make me buy a handheld of the DS variety!

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thatfrood

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Edited By thatfrood

You're fired.

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Zoombini

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Edited By Zoombini

Will Kratos be able to kill Zeus and all the other gods of Olympus? This game will tell you.

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PLWolf

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Edited By PLWolf

I saw Super Mario Galaxy 2 and everything else just became a bunch of nondescript words.

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buckybit

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Edited By buckybit

I am playing Dirt2 and can neither stop nor advance in this game (1% finished). The 2nd track (Croatia, Dirt Race) has all my attention for 2 weeks now. So, you Matt, go play those fancy vector-graphic racing games or Blrrr/Blur (wasn't that like a BAND?! what happend? ;) 

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Milkman

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Dude, Bombcast spoilers. What the eff?

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Endogene

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Edited By Endogene

Did hell just freeze over?

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kamoku

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Edited By kamoku

Damn you for that pun! >_<

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dtat

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Edited By dtat

Dude that pun was wiik, yo! XD (I hate myself)
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monster9999

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Edited By monster9999

Excuse me but ill wait for my bombcast to hear about this

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I_smell

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Edited By I_smell

Giantbomb audience don't give a shit!

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CaptainObvious

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Edited By CaptainObvious
@I_smell: I do. What you're gonna do now, tough guy? HUH HUH?
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zombie2011

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Edited By zombie2011

hopefully this means an end to the DSi portion of the bombcast.

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sweep

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Edited By sweep  Moderator

Nice article matt. One slight criticism is that it's a bit of a mess. Would be a lot clearer if you were to make effective use of 
 

Headers

And Smaller Headers.

Then write the bulk of the stuff underneath.
 

You See?

It's a lot easier to read.
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Depth

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Edited By Depth
@zombie2011: New releases is my favorite part of the show so you need to gtfo.
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MisterMouse

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Edited By MisterMouse

haha good news!

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lordofultima

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Edited By lordofultima
@zombie2011 said:
" hopefully this means an end to the DSi portion of the bombcast. "
NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Endogene

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@Sweep said:

" Nice article matt. One slight criticism is that it's a bit of a mess. Would be a lot clearer if you were to make effective use of 
 

Headers

And Smaller Headers.

Then write the bulk of the stuff underneath.
 

You See?

It's a lot easier to read. "
That would make it a lot more readable indeed however i suppose that he (they) did not go for that because you can not hotlink the smaller headers. 
 
Perhaps they should go with Something like this next time:
 

WiiWare


Art Style: light trax

 Look at those trax of light!
 Look at those trax of light!
 
Published by Nintendo
Price: 600 Wii Points
Players: 1 
Art Style: Light Trax GB Wiki Page
 
The Art Style series returns to the Wii, apparently just in time for the release of the Tron movie. light trax is a racing game that
shifts between 2D and 3D perspectives as you dodge obstacles and race your opponents. Oh, and You Are The White Line! 
Sounds like a totally standard racing game, but it's that clean, vector graphics-inspired look that has me interested. Well, more interested than the other downloadable titles this week. 
 
 

Manic Monkey Mayhem

 All I see is a missed opportunity.
 All I see is a missed opportunity.
 
Published by The Code Monkeys Ltd.
Price: 800 Wii Points
Players: 1-4 
Manic Monkey Mayhem GB Wiki Page
 
I get the feeling that whenever a developer throws a playable monkey into a game, they're counting on people still associating monkeys with, "WACKY CRAZY FUN! WHAT WILL THOSE NUTTY MONKEYS DO NEXT?" Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that monkeys aren't just a developer shorthand for "crazy." Worst of all, this 3rd person shooter for the Wii seems to feature monkeys engaged in combat with other monkeys using...bananas.  I'll just say it: Why aren't those monkeys throwing poop
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MysteriousBob

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Edited By MysteriousBob

Nintendo news? Wow, you are new.

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Willy105

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Whoa.
 
You guys are going to do this every week now? Because this happens every week.

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DukeTogo

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Edited By DukeTogo

What's up with no Virtual Console release again?  It's the only reason I even bother too hook up the Wii every now and then and now they start to get spotty on releases.

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MetalGearSunny

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Edited By MetalGearSunny

BODEGA!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

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buzz_killington

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Edited By buzz_killington

Dude, fucking Spoliers!!!!! I don't wanna know about Nintendo's downloadable services until Ryan reads the press releases on the Bombcast!!!!

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sweep

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Edited By sweep  Moderator
@Endogene said:
" That would make it a lot more readable indeed however i suppose that he (they) did not go for that because you can not hotlink the smaller headers."

Oh really? I had better stop then.

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Endogene

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@Sweep said:
" @Endogene said:
" That would make it a lot more readable indeed however i suppose that he (they) did not go for that because you can not hotlink the smaller headers."

Oh really? I had better stop then.

"
I've got the odd sensation of déja vu here. I might have actually made this very same mistake before.
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LordAndrew

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Edited By LordAndrew

I've been waiting for a video game to finally reveal the identity of Jack the Ripper, and this wiik wii'll finally find out! Thanks, Virtual Playground!

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Horace

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Edited By Horace

I want to know if the name drop of "Digital Playground" is Matt's subconcious telling us that he needs a cold shower.
 
EDIT:  It got changed!  Now my comment is irrelevant :(

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HaroldoNVU

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Edited By HaroldoNVU
@buzz_killington said:
" Dude, fucking Spoliers!!!!! I don't wanna know about Nintendo's downloadable services until Ryan reads the press releases on the Bombcast!!!! "
LOL. That's what I was thinking.
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LordAndrew

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Edited By LordAndrew
@Sweep said:
" Nice article matt. One slight criticism is that it's a bit of a mess. "
That's our Matt! :P They should have Matt on the Bombcast so he can read the wiikly press releases. Via Skype of course, because that's just how Matt rolls.
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Leadcat

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Edited By Leadcat

oh no, Bombcast spoilers!

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jediautobot

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Edited By jediautobot

Does this mean no more readings on the bombcast?
Listen on Tuesday and this podcast will tell you!

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Dalai

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Edited By Dalai

Art Style: light trax looks kinda cool. I haven't bought any of the Art Style games so maybe it's time I try one out.

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I_smell

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Edited By I_smell
Oh I'm surprised someone on Giantbomb actually cares about DSi and Wiiware.
@CaptainObvious: I'm gonna JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!! >:(
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Claude

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Edited By Claude

Awesome, I hope you do this every week. This department has been lacking for quite some time.

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GalacticPunt

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Edited By GalacticPunt

Giant Bomb is going to do this every Monday, I hope?  I can finally stop refreshing Kotaku and Destructoid on Mondays just to see what the Wii offerings are?
 
Swiit.
 

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@Sweep said:
" Nice article matt. One slight criticism is that it's a bit of a mess. Would be a lot clearer if you were to make effective use of 
 

Headers

And Smaller Headers.

Then write the bulk of the stuff underneath.
 

You See?

It's a lot easier to read. "
Sweep, your header fetish is well-documented, but not everyone shares your proclivities.
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artofwar420

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Edited By artofwar420

This is nice, hopefully we'll see similar features for PSN and XBLA. Proper hardcore Matt, proper.

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neoepoch

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Edited By neoepoch

...Did they stop doing VC? It seems like they release VC games every 3 weeks now, and frankly if they are going to stop then just say it. That way I can feel fully justified in playing Earthbound in less then reputable ways.

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EndlessMike

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Edited By EndlessMike

These Wii jokes are getting pretty wiik.

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JP_Russell

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Edited By JP_Russell

Making bad Wii puns, Ninja'ing the bombcast on the Wiiware/DSiware shenanigans...  This is why Ryan is mean to you, Matt! 
 
Kidding aside, I kind of hope this doesn't mean no more Wiiware/DSiware on the bombcast.

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delicious_lie

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Edited By delicious_lie

Will the pile of blocks rise to the top of the screen before you get a lot of points, or after you get a lot of points? This game will tell you.

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Gizmo

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Edited By Gizmo
@buzz_killington said:
" Dude, fucking Spoliers!!!!! I don't wanna know about Nintendo's downloadable services until Ryan reads the press releases on the Bombcast!!!! "
Dude, I know right?