Good at FPSes? Bad at sex.

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atejas

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#1  Edited By atejas
http://gizmodo.com/5060687/scientists-find-gene-that-makes-you-good-at-halo-also-makes-you-a-premature-ejaculator
"After a study of 200 Dutch men, scientists found that those with a premature ejaculation problem all had a version of a gene that controls the release of serotonin. And, unfortunately for all of you awesome Call of Duty players out there, those affected seem to "have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example." Oh, cruel fate!

Well, at least now you have an excuse, both for your lousy performance in the sack and your awesome performance on Xbox Live. The only problem is that now you can expect a whole new barrage of insults coming over your headset every time you take down an opponent.

So what's this mean for you in the long run, my prematurely ejaculating, headshotting friend? Maybe a drug that'll let you last longer without buying those condoms with numbing juice in the tip. However, if you had the option of taking a pill that would make you a stallion in the sack but make you suck at video games, would you do it? Talk about your tough decisions."

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HandsomeDead

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#2  Edited By HandsomeDead

Tell me something I don't know.

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Yit

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#3  Edited By Yit

It's cause all the good FPS players don't have girlfriends, and fap in between matches.

>.>

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Dalai

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#4  Edited By Dalai

Good at first-person shooters, bad at first-person sex?  Interesting.

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Keano

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#5  Edited By Keano

Pfft. ok kid.

I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
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Pibo47

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#6  Edited By Pibo47
Keano said:
"Pfft. ok kid.
I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
"
LMFAO!
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jakob187

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#7  Edited By jakob187
Pibo47 said:
"Keano said:
"Pfft. ok kid.
I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
"
LMFAO!"
DITTO'D!
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TheGreatGuero

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#8  Edited By TheGreatGuero

Maybe I'm not as good at video games as I thought...

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hexogen

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#9  Edited By hexogen

I guess I should be glad that I suck at Call of Duty so much.

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Demilich

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#10  Edited By Demilich

At least I know I'm good with my hands then.

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OGCartman

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#11  Edited By OGCartman
Keano said:
"Pfft. ok kid.
I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
"
AHAHAHAHAHA
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Vinchenzo

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#12  Edited By Vinchenzo

I guess I'll be mediocre at games and mediocre in bed (whenever I do get laid, girls may PM me with their numbers).

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kush

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#13  Edited By kush
Vinchenzo said:
"I guess I'll be mediocre at games and mediocre in bed (whenever I do get laid, girls may PM me with their numbers)."
I remember this old user you may be interested in...I think "her" name was ItalyCanadian9!
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KindGalaxy

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#14  Edited By KindGalaxy

Huh, my wife often complains I can't finish quickly enough, the only time we get to do it is inbetween the ads during House which is like 3-4 minutes tops, barely gives me time to get the image of Hugh Laurie out of my brain to get a hardon.

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tekmojo

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#15  Edited By tekmojo
Keano said:
"Pfft. ok kid.
I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
"
post of the week
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kush

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#16  Edited By kush
KindGalaxy said:
"Huh, my wife often complains I can't finish quickly enough, the only time we get to do it is inbetween the ads during House which is like 3-4 minutes tops, barely gives me time to get the image of Hugh Laurie out of my brain to get a hardon."
I didn't need, or want, to know any of this. Too much information :P
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Captain_Insano

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#17  Edited By Captain_Insano
Keano said:
"Pfft. ok kid.
I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
"

because your target (the ladies) are hundreds of meters (yards for you americans) away?
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Gunner

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#18  Edited By Gunner
atejas said:
"After a study of 200 Dutch men,"
Thats not fair. Everyone knows that all dutch men are bad at sex.
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atejas

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#19  Edited By atejas
Gunner said:
"atejas said:
"After a study of 200 Dutch men,"
Thats not fair. Everyone knows that all dutch men are bad at sex."
So...you're implying that they're good at games?
I think Korea would be a better place to test for that. 
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Kazona

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#20  Edited By Kazona

So what if you're good at FPS's, yet take a long time to 'finish up'  in the sack?

btw. I pretty much suck at FPS's. So ladies, come on! *wink wink*

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Gizmo

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#21  Edited By Gizmo

In all seriousness, I have noticed quicker ejaculation times since I got my 360 last year.

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KindGalaxy

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#22  Edited By KindGalaxy
Gizmo said:
"In all seriousness, I have noticed quicker ejaculation times since I got my 360 last year."
Well, think of it more as a balance between gaming and getting game, from a woman, with your wang. It's not that you're faster, it's that you need to let both the x360 and the woman know they're equals in your heart.
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Godwind

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#23  Edited By Godwind

This is hilarious.

So if I am average in FPSes, does that mean I am average in bed?

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cc23574

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#24  Edited By cc23574

Glad that I suck at fps's.......heh heh.....

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Keyser_Soze

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#25  Edited By Keyser_Soze
@Kush said:
" Vinchenzo said:
"I guess I'll be mediocre at games and mediocre in bed (whenever I do get laid, girls may PM me with their numbers)."
I remember this old user you may be interested in...I think "her" name was ItalyCanadian9! "
Should never have fapped to an online avatar Kush.
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ShadowKiller

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#26  Edited By ShadowKiller

Dammit I can own all my friends in Halo... This could prove problems later in life since I haven't been close to a girl since I started playing FPS's  =P

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Video_Game_King

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#27  Edited By Video_Game_King

Hey, people who insulted me when I reviewed Halo: guess who won in the end? That's right: me :P.

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simpsons_28

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#28  Edited By simpsons_28

Glad I don't even have a cock.

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Icil

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#29  Edited By Icil

Bolt action wang, center mass.

Takes anyone down in one hit.

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Origina1Penguin

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#30  Edited By Origina1Penguin

So where is the study if chicks with good reflexes can be finished off faster?

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raikoh05

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#31  Edited By raikoh05

good thing I fucking hate halo

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Bigandtasty

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#32  Edited By Bigandtasty

what i'm bad at both 


this offers me no relief =(
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TheHBK

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#33  Edited By TheHBK
@Kush said:
"KindGalaxy said:
"Huh, my wife often complains I can't finish quickly enough, the only time we get to do it is inbetween the ads during House which is like 3-4 minutes tops, barely gives me time to get the image of Hugh Laurie out of my brain to get a hardon."
I didn't need, or want, to know any of this. Too much information :P "
True, can you believe my girlfriend wanted to do it during the NBA finals game 5 the other day?  Fucking difficult to do, especially where kobe made a swishing fade away.  Looking at big black guys get all sweaty really made it an all time challenge to get it up.
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chrissedoff

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#34  Edited By chrissedoff
@simpsons_28 said:
" Glad I don't even have a cock. "
you should start a thread about how you lost your cock. that's way more interesting than this study.
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kitsune_conundrum

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@chrissedoff said:
"
@simpsons_28 said:
" Glad I don't even have a cock. "
you should start a thread about how you lost your cock. that's way more interesting than this study. "
She'll tell you something that you should be able to catch on from this post.
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cloneslayer

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#36  Edited By cloneslayer

this article just proves to me that science is getting more and more useless by the day.

Hey guys, cancer is still around ya know, or at least make a robot sex lady or something so I can get better at it. Practice makes perfect.


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flaminghobo

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#37  Edited By flaminghobo
@Keano said:
" Pfft. ok kid.
I can aim my cock like a m40 sniper rilffle.
"
Headshot.
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kitsune_conundrum

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@Cloneslayer said:
" this article just proves to me that science is getting more and more useless by the day.

Hey guys, cancer is still around ya know, or at least make a robot sex lady or something so I can get better at it. Practice makes perfect.

"
quickly, make a idiocracy reference!
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Pie

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#39  Edited By Pie

Ill take this as a positive.

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kitsune_conundrum

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@Pie said:
" Ill take this as a positive. "
oh noes, fornicating pies! the image! burned into my retinas!@
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Pie

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#41  Edited By Pie
@kitsune_conundrum said:
"
@Pie said:
" Ill take this as a positive. "
oh noes, fornicating pies! the image! burned into my retinas!@ "
Do you still wonder what the red is on my avatar?.......
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NickL

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#42  Edited By NickL
@kitsune_conundrum said:
" quickly, make a idiocracy reference! "
electrolytes... its what plants crave
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RsistncE

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#43  Edited By RsistncE

I can't stop laughing.

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JJOR64

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#44  Edited By JJOR64

I'm OK at FPSes so will that make me OK at sex?

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Video_Game_King

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#45  Edited By Video_Game_King
@Pie said:
"
@kitsune_conundrum said:
"
@Pie said:
" Ill take this as a positive. "
oh noes, fornicating pies! the image! burned into my retinas!@ "
Do you still wonder what the red is on my avatar?....... "
I'm wondering what the "delicious" refers to. Is that what you call your girlfriend or something :P?
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Pie

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#46  Edited By Pie
@Video_Game_King said:
"
@Pie said:
"
@kitsune_conundrum said:
"
@Pie said:
" Ill take this as a positive. "
oh noes, fornicating pies! the image! burned into my retinas!@ "
Do you still wonder what the red is on my avatar?....... "
I'm wondering what the "delicious" refers to. Is that what you call your girlfriend or something :P? "
Endogene made it........
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JJOR64

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#47  Edited By JJOR64

Holy crap, just noticed this thread is 8 months old.

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Video_Game_King

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#48  Edited By Video_Game_King
@Pie said:
" Endogene made it........ "
So it refers to his girlfriend?
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dsplayer1010

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#49  Edited By dsplayer1010

I laughed

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Pie

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#50  Edited By Pie
@Video_Game_King said:
"
@Pie said:
" Endogene made it........ "
So it refers to his girlfriend? "
Dermm, girlfriend? Me and Endogene are actually involved at the moment