American Government is Shut Down!

@fourwude said:

Barack Obama sat alone in his luxurious office, feet propped on his massive oak desk, and sipped Henri IV Dudognon Heritage cognac from a fine etched crystal snifter. He had put in a long day of fucking up Obamacare's PR campaign throughout the nation, and he deserved a break. The building was mostly empty, save for some janitors and a few kiss-asses putting in extra hours in a vain attempt to be noticed when an executive position opened up. Monica, his eager and naive young secretary was one such ass kisser. "Maybe if she ever puts her mouth to better use than just answering the damn phones," he chuckled to himself.

The door to his top-floor office burst open suddenly and he nearly spilled his drink. Charging toward him was Bill Clinton, a veteran president working somewhere in Lewinski's office or some such nonsense. Barack was too busy driving the bus off the cliff to pay attention to what the passengers were doing.

Barack stood to meet his visitor, but before he could react, Bill had him by the throat. "You fucked up, Barack," he spat between gritted teeth. His breath reeked of cigarette smoke and rage. "Obamacare is a fucking mess. Insurance companies can't implement it right and the price is too goddamn high."

Barack wriggled beneath Bill's iron grip, sweat pouring down his brow. He managed a wry smile, attempting to show a confidence instantly betrayed by his trembling lips. "People w-will work a second job to--" Bill's free hand swept through the open air and connected with a smack across Barack's face, his wirey frame giving no indication of the strength within him. "No more bullshit, Barack."

Barack swallowed hard. Fire burned behind Bill's eyes, and Barack knew he meant business. "Bill," he choked, "you don't know people the way I do. They'll happily pay whatever price we set. We're the government, for fuck's sake. People trust us because people are idi--" Before he could close his mouth, Bill jammed the end of a pistol into it. "Be real fucking careful about the next words you speak."

He stared into the endless black of Bill's dilated pupils. The only sounds in the room were those of his heart pounding and his teeth chattering against the gun's muzzle. Bill was right to be angry and there was nothing he could say to fix what he had done. So he started to cry. Bill relaxed his grip and holstered his gun. "Get out of here," he said.

"You want me to leave my own office?" Barack asked, still sobbing.

Bill took the open bottle of cognac from Barack's desk and shot back a slug. "No Barack," he grinned, "I want you out of my office."

didn't say it was all bad. I'm sure it works out pretty well for some people. Good for them I guess.

It's just hard to get past the part where people already living on the edge are going to have to opt-out and pay the fine because they simply cannot afford the monthly costs. Even with all of the subsides and credits.

And did you just call a 26 year old a child? I assume that was a typo.

Adapt? When the government's asking for more money and people aren't making more money? Are you that thick?

@tourgen: An adult child is still their parents children, which is all he meant.

Everyone in congress is a fucking infant. Even the ones I agree with.

Does that mean we are going to watch Big Money Rustlas again?

@trafalgarlaw: Needed more barack sucking bill off and then turning into cannibalism with bill opening his stomach for barack to eat.

You're not watching Big Money Rustlas anymore. You're living it.

Isn't one of the clauses of the bill the ability for College kids to remain under their parents family coverage until the age of 26? That does sort of resolve that college kids bit for the most part.

Yeah. I'm really not sure how the majority of mid to lower class Americans are going to deal with this. I don't know too many people with several hundred bucks unallocated every month.

That sounds like you volunteering to me.

Man, I'm so scared of you Canadians and your huge arsenal of guns. Oh wait.

Pick your poison. Either the poor can't afford even government subsidized health insurance or the poor can't afford the several thousand dollar bill for any type of health care (outside of prison that is).

Actually, looks like you are volunteering, what with the "with me" part at the end.

If he's so excited about it maybe he should go get a head start.

@likeassur:

It can also mean "who's willing to join me as a sacrifice of 10% of the US population".

@video_game_king: Can you come run America for a while?

@likeassur:

Who said they were mutually exclusive categories?

Nope. You guys gave up monarchies long ago, so you get to live with your irresponsible life choices.

You always liked Canada better! Waaaaaaah!

@likeassur:

You could kill first and then be killed. The people doing the killing could agree to being killed themselves at a later date. There's even a term for that.

Not really. I mean, I have a house in America and everything. It's just that you guys couldn't handle a single thing about me, so I'm sitting things out.

@video_game_king: Yeah, that's a logical explanation for what I said.

Look, I'm really sorry for making my sentence so complicated and hard to understand for you. In order to atone for my sins, let me just remove all my prior comments so you can return to a life of peace and not have to wrack your brain trying to figure out my clearly indecipherable language. Instead, I'll put it in a way one can easily understand. Ready? Okay, ahem...

I think (are you still with me?) we should just have another black plague or something that wipes out a large chunk of the U.S. population. It would solve a lot of problems. Who (now watch out, it can get tricky here) agrees with that hypothetical plan?

I think the Republicans and Democrats should kiss already

As someone with a pre-existing condition I think the Obamacare is great. I can move to a new job without fear of losing insurance and going broke trying to pay for my medical supplies out of pocket(about $1500 for a months worth of stuff) not to mention the humira injections I take that are 2K a pop, fortunately those are covered either way...

and yet the world keeps on turning.

Well... apart from those 800 thousand odd people not getting their pay cheques for the immediate future, bet the world seems pretty shitty right now to them.

American Government is Shut Down!

Thank God... I don't use it anymore. Its out of date and super slow... who cares anymore. XD

That's nice idea. But doesn't help me because I still can't comfortably afford health care. As a veteran, the VA takes care of all my needs. However, it isn't technically insurance. So I'm pretty pissed at the idea of being forced to buy insurance. My college class got pissed when they figured out how much Obamacare actually is for them.

Are you part of the US population? If so, great. If not, pretend you are.

Now, were this hypothetical black plague to wipe out a hypothetical ten percent of the population, would you or would you not exclude yourself from possibly being one of the ten percent?

And then every hard-right winger's head would explode. Oh, wait, there's your large chunk, likeassur!

YOU WHITE DEVILS IN THE US HAVE HAD YOUR DAY. DEMOCRACY AKA DEVIL-OCRACY IS DYING.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW WHITEYS.

Hopefully Congress will be able to come up with a new budget soon.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!!!

KK.

So lets talk doom scenarios. What happens if there is still no budget the moment the debt ceiling needs to be raised? Nothing or apocalypse now?

if the debt ceiling isn't raised? no one knows. It could be pretty hardcore but it could also just be a minor bump.

The shutdown is annoying and wasteful. A refusal to raise the debt ceiling is however a much more serious issue with global economic impact.

It has been noted with irony that the GOP complains about what a waste of money "Obamacare" is but is ending up wasting a ton of money on the shutdown and destroying capital if they grandstand on debt ceiling.

I have to know if you're really this bonkers or if you're just plain trolling.

Otherwise, this thread is probably the single most stable thread on this topic across the entire internet.

Isn't that HIV? I heard it was made by the government to kill black people.

he always posts this kinda stuff. I am still not sure if it is a long troll or true craziness (I am leaning towards the latter personally)

I'm fucking stoked about this. Hopefully they can...ya know...permanently go away...or at least stop spending shit on non-essentials.

In all seriousness, this isn't the first time it has happened. It's about as big of a deal as a mouse farting.

@jakob187: Mouse farts typically don't freeze the pay of millions of federal workers, or cause people to be unable to attend their cancer treatment trials.

Apparently the House has the numbers to end this today. Enough Republicans have stepped forward to end it, but Speaker Boehner has made no indication of putting it up for a vote today.

It's really more serious than that. The last time it happened it cost the government 2 billion extra dollars, for example.

Plus all those people who aren't working and getting paid. I think they might dislike this

HERE IS YOUR GOD NOW WHITEYS. LOOK AT YOUR DEMOCRACY. IT HAS DIED A TRAGIC YOUNG DEATH. AND GOOD RIDDANCE.

(It's fun taking the complete piss out of the US government.)

I AM NEVER NOT REAL SON.

NEVER QUESTION MY REALNESS.

PUT THAT ON MY EPITAPH AND SMOKE IT.

I applaud and participate whenever I can. My government is run by scoundrels and thieves who tweet pictures of their genitals to interns and spy on my grandparents.