Do you think marriage is sacred?

My mom and Dad have been happily married for 21 years and just recently she and I found out he cheated on her with a co worker.  The sick thing is he did this without us knowing and he had us help her daughter move.  When the shit finally hit the fan my dad basically said he didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore.  Fast forward 1 week later, whimper, sob , cry he begs to come back and try again.  My mom agrees and believes him genuine I think hes finally back again and everything is well for about  a month.  He does it all over again and leaves with his mistress.  He still has the nerve to call me and try and talk to me, it is just disgusting.  A few days ago I was at the beach cottage where he was staying and pulled a few punches through the car window.  He wouldn't even talk to me about it and proceeded to drive off.  What a coward if you ask me and I feel betrayed.  Tonight I said I never want you talk to me again and that you are a demon.  I only hope the court will swing in our favor.  Do you think this is right?  This really makes me wonder about life.

I think that marriage is a sacred thing, for some. I think it's bad that people can get to the point where they have to really struggle to figure out why they're still married. But that's just my take.

Hell no! Look at my marriage; it only happened because my Kingdom was on hard times, and her Kingdom needed the political points.

Yah, that's normal. 
 
 
No, it's not right.

meh
 
 
 
 
it could be if you cared enough and didn't make yours stereotypical

It's only as sacred as the love in it. Marriage can be a cold, green card grabbing institution, or it can be awesome. All marriages certainly are not sacred. 

Marriage can be sacred..i guess it depends on the people involved.
 
Its easy to say that marriage is an expired tradition but i've seen people that have been happily married since highschool.

in this day and age i think its really hard to stay faithful to one person. It's a social world now with so many opportunities to meet new people thru work, friends and social outlets like internet, instant messaging, email, facebook... that a person will bound to run into some1 else that they share common interests and are attracted to which makes it easier to slip up.  I still think marriage is sacred but not surprised that more and more people are cheating. 

Speaking from experience, there will come a day when you regret cutting your father out of your life for marital indiscretions.  No matter how angry you are at him right now burning a bridge with one of the two people who gave you life and raised you is not a good idea.

Your dad is going through some pretty tough stuff right now.  I'm not on his side necessarily, but I suppose I get where he is coming from.  He'll also probably regret it all eventually  He is forced to weigh out how he regards his family versus his immediate interests.  Some of it makes sense to him now.  I'm not sure it will in the long run.  Ugh, this is such a heavy topic and not easily answered.   

No more sacred then any other business arrangement. I am sorry if I have offended anyone who takes it seriously but I don't take much stock in these things. However I still find what the OP's dad did pretty disgraceful. Fuck that guy and everyone like him.

Nothing is sacred.

I think putting yourself under contractual obligations with someone to show how much trust there is kind of does the opposite. But that's me, and its not about me. Its wifey's day.

No, marriage is merely a financial contract of co-dependence. Do you seriously think that you need a piece of paper from the Government or Church to say you're in love? What's more as hai2u points out, the world of relationships is changing. The traditional nuclear family is pretty much gone. Women now have more freedom, especially the ability to self support themselves, as well as people living more fluid and stressful lives. The traditional factors which made marriage work (which was never actually love at all) no longer exist. Women are no longer dependant on the man, and men no longer receive dowries or property from their father-in-laws and the political ramifications and factors in marriage no longer exist either.

" It's only as sacred as the love in it. Marriage can be a cold, green card grabbing institution, or it can be awesome. All marriages certainly are not sacred.  "

A temple may be sacred, until someone tears down the walls, spits on the floor, and shits in the coffers.

A marriage is only as good as the people involved in it.

"Speaking from experience, there will come a day when you regret cutting your father out of your life for marital indiscretions.  No matter how angry you are at him right now burning a bridge with one of the two people who gave you life and raised you is not a good idea. "

" @DanielJW said:

" It's only as sacred as the love in it. Marriage can be a cold, green card grabbing institution, or it can be awesome. All marriages certainly are not sacred.  "

Wise words good sir. I do believe marriage was intended to be sacred, but like most good things it became corrupted. It's sad, but that's the world we live in. "

I don't believe in monogamy, but that said, people who are incapable of being monogamous shouldn't enter long-term monogamous relationships. It is their responsibility to make that distinction, and their partner's responsibility to trust that they are capable of making it. If it any point they feel they can't live up to those standards anymore, they should respectfully bow out, and live the dirty, primal life they want to.

" My mom and Dad have been happily married for 21 years and just recently she and I found out he cheated on her with a co worker.  The sick thing is he did this without us knowing and he had us help her daughter move.  When the shit finally hit the fan my dad basically said he didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore.  Fast forward 1 week later, whimper, sob , cry he begs to come back and try again.  My mom agrees and believes him genuine I think hes finally back again and everything is well for about  a month.  He does it all over again and leaves with his mistress.  He still has the nerve to call me and try and talk to me, it is just disgusting.  A few days ago I was at the beach cottage where he was staying and pulled a few punches through the car window.  He wouldn't even talk to me about it and proceeded to drive off.  What a coward if you ask me and I feel betrayed.  Tonight I said I never want you talk to me again and that you are a demon.  I only hope the court will swing in our favor.  Do you think this is right?  This really makes me wonder about life. "

" No, marriage is merely a financial contract of co-dependence. Do you seriously think that you need a piece of paper from the Government or Church to say you're in love? "

" Hell no! Look at my marriage; it only happened because my Kingdom was on hard times, and her Kingdom needed the political points. "

I think it is, unless someone in the marriage violates the rules, like by cheating. Then they're just asking for a medieval beatdown.

My (badass) marriage is real awesome,since i married to a gamer,that is the mental health as me (INSANE!!!!! But the good kind :)) AND is.............Ye know........"Generous"......Yeaaaa i'm just going to stop there,ok?
 
Anyway,unless you are getting married for green cards or money or something even worse it is sacred :)
 
Oh and she's  both "Generous" and Generous :P

Damn i just read your post and...WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING DOUCHE (Kinda like my dad but my Dad actually divorced to my mom and is now her BOYFRIEND.....Don't ask)
 
 
Also,i think my wife would beat me up with something!

If you have another relationship while you're already in a relationship you're a scumbag and I hope you die of cancer. That is basically my feeling on it. If you "love" someone enough to want a commited law binding relationship you should stay commited to that person. If you're having second thoughts about the whole thing, have the balls/vagina to break it off first before you go "do" someone else. 
 
PS: Your dad's a scumbag.

I think it's an outdated tradition used to brand and label something that shouldn't require permission to express.

They are called wedding vows for a reason. If you make a promise in front of everyone that you will be with a person until death, I would say that is serious. If you aren't serious about marrying someone, why get married? marriage entails a life long commitment. Whether or not you agree is a moot point. Ignorance of what marriage means isn't an excuse. It's just ignorance.

" I think it's an outdated tradition used to brand and label something that shouldn't require permission to express. "

"Sacred" is an abstract concept that I don't accept, because it's something that's either religious or spiritual, and I do not identify with either of those two.
 
I personally do not care for marriage. Marriage is mainly for women. They appreciate the ceremony, and they seem to want the bond between partners more than men do, and for that reason it's important to a couple that are looking to get serious. (There are, of course, girls who don't care about marriage -- I realize I'm making sweeping generalizations here.)  
 
As in @cspanick's case, if somebody agrees to marriage and then proceeds to effectively disown that marriage by being with somebody else... well, I don't want to call your father any names, Sir, but that's unacceptable in my book. The guy entered a societal contract and he's expected to abide by it, you know?

Realistically marriage is defunct in most western societies anyway. Now de facto relationships are commonplace -- if you're together with somebody for two years (or whatever), you're considered married and all marriage law applies to you. In many countries this is not yet the case; as such, marriage is more important because it bonds the couple legally and has ramifications for property, assets, and children, et cetera. I recall the case of the Swedish author who wrote The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series - Steig Larrson (I can't spell his last name, so forgive me). He wrote one as of yet unpublished book; the manuscript is being held by his longtime girlfriend. He was with her for over twenty years in a very close and intimate relationship and yet under Swedish law they were not "married" nor in a "de facto relationship", so she has no legal ability to hold on to the book. Instead Larrson's family, to whom he was not close, want to take the book from her and profiteer from his posthumous fame.

Marriage is a sacred trust. I've walked the boundary of breaking that trust in my eighteen years of marriage and you never fully get that trust back. I take it day to day, hour to hour and only hope that the trust I have lost is regained over time.

Maybe back in the days, but not in today's society where cheating with another partner is common. 
There was a time when people found out that you've cheated, then they look down on you, but not anymore nowadays because it is that common. 
 
Also do you think people who marries really loves each other?, and I'm not talking about those people who only marries for green card. One example is that two people get married only because the guy got his girlfriend pregnant, so he thinks he has obligation to marry (let's not talk about the people who run away or just having fun but baby happened for a second) her but in the end, everything was just a lie. The couple MAY had sex with other because they THOUGHT they love each other but no, after at least a year of marriage that is proven false. Love is like a candy, it never last and so did the marriage. 

Yeah, marriage is sacred. It means you want to spend the rest of your life with your spouse, that's a hella sacred thing to me. 

Do I think it's sacred?  Not at all.  Do I think it should be sacred?  Of course.

I don't believe in marriage, let alone if it's sacred or not.  I guess that being sacred implies something religious, if so then why the hell not?  That's up to you whether God wrote down on a napkin somewhere how you should chose to spend your life.  As for myself, no, I would prefer not to ever get married for many, many reasons, none of them being that I hate women.

Not so much these days. Don't know if I'm just being cynical as usual though.

The whole idea of marriage is that you are declaring that you will be with this person for the rest of your life. In the context of love, this is a huge deal. Think about the level of commitment it takes to say, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Only you, and no one else. The problem is that divorce is too commonplace. It's hard to take marriage so seriously, since divorce is now such a viable option. I'm not saying that people should stick with someone they hate because they made a commitment, but they should make damn sure they're marrying the person they know they will be happy with for the rest of their days. I married my wife on our 6 year anniversary, even though I was damn near certain after only a few short months of dating that she was the woman for me.

Clearly I do, having been married for 30 years.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But it is only as important or sacred as you choose it to be.  I tell my daughters that marriage isn't important if they don't think it is.  Plus, I have brought them up to maintain their family name and all their children will not have the father's name - no good reason they should.

" Clearly I do, having been married for 30 years.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But it is only as important or sacred as you choose it to be.  I tell my daughters that marriage isn't important if they don't think it is.  Plus, I have brought them up to maintain their family name and all their children will not have the father's name - no good reason they should. "

It should be.  But it definitely isn't.

" It should be.  But it definitely isn't. "

" @oldschool said:

" Clearly I do, having been married for 30 years.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But it is only as important or sacred as you choose it to be.  I tell my daughters that marriage isn't important if they don't think it is.  Plus, I have brought them up to maintain their family name and all their children will not have the father's name - no good reason they should. "

It was up to my wife if she wished to take my last name. But she wanted mine. It's up to your daughters though right, in the end, it's all up to them and their partners they choose and the life they lead. "

Relationships ends,
He didn't leave you, He left your mother.
And I don't blame him for driving off and not talking about it with you, If you threw punches at him first while he was sitting in his car.

It's a complicated concept, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage that's for sure. I do think it's important though, doesn't suit everyone but I think it's important nonetheless. Couples that choose often not to get married end up splitting, in my personal experience that's the case, as happened in my own family and it's not nice at all.  
 
Having said that, my father continuously tells me not to get married :)

" My mom and Dad have been happily married for 21 years and just recently she and I found out he cheated on her with a co worker.  The sick thing is he did this without us knowing and he had us help her daughter move.  When the shit finally hit the fan my dad basically said he didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore.  Fast forward 1 week later, whimper, sob , cry he begs to come back and try again.  My mom agrees and believes him genuine I think hes finally back again and everything is well for about  a month.  He does it all over again and leaves with his mistress.  He still has the nerve to call me and try and talk to me, it is just disgusting.  A few days ago I was at the beach cottage where he was staying and pulled a few punches through the car window.  He wouldn't even talk to me about it and proceeded to drive off.  What a coward if you ask me and I feel betrayed.  Tonight I said I never want you talk to me again and that you are a demon.  I only hope the court will swing in our favor.  Do you think this is right?  This really makes me wonder about life. "

" A marriage is only as good as the people involved in it. "