Should I ask my roommate to soundproof his door?

EDIT: Alright, guys. I've gotten enough feedback. Thanks to those who put things in perspective, and those with soundproofing tips.

If it's the doors, then why not soundproof your door? That way, dude doesn't have to deal with any changes to his room, while also addressing the problem.

I just skimmed your fucking novella, so forgive me if I misinterpreted the content.

Sleep like a normal person. Stop making popcorn at 1 in the god damn morning. Or find a new roommate that shares your retarded sleep pattern.

@Captain_Felafel said:

If it's the doors, then why not soundproof your door? That way, dude doesn't have to deal with any changes to his room, while also addressing the problem.

Yeah, that sounds like the best option, especially if he's known to pull the "it's my house" card.

Man...you guys totally didn't read my post.

Edit: I suppose I invited that by adding a TLDR, though.

I read most of that and it seems like some serious sound proofing should have been done to your place a long time ago. Yes 100% sound proofing required.

Well you could say him like this: Ï have an idea that we should test ... why dont we soundproof my door and see if sounds no longer bothers you while you sleep ... what can we loose? (well you get the idea) Or the other option is well .. look for another place to stay.

Popcorn smell is quite pungent, I could see why that would wake up a light sleeper. Why don't you hang out at your friend's place instead of having people over?

@GalacticGravy said:

I haven't even begun to tell you how uncomfortable it makes me that he could possibly be hearing me and my girlfriend having sex. Should I suggest it?

Hell yes. It's always better to have an audience.

On a more serious note (IE on a serious note), this sounds a lot like me, at least insofar as I must have absolute silence at all times. That said, insulate those damn doors, because even the most innocuous noise is aggravating as hell.

@notdavid said:

I just skimmed your fucking novella, so forgive me if I misinterpreted the content.

Sleep like a normal person. Stop making popcorn at 1 in the god damn morning. Or find a new roommate that shares your retarded sleep pattern.

I love comments like this. So I guess you are a normal nine to five worker who has never had to have a job outside the "normal" spectrum. Never been a bartender serving drinks until two in the morning, never worked with a construction crew that has to work for weeks at night while the roads are closed. Never had to do anything outside the norm I'm guessing from such an ignorant douche bag comment.

@RollingZeppelin: They're all bums who live with their parents. Literally all of them. I would, too, if I didn't have this economically sweet deal. Even though I make OK money it's just too expensive here. I'm moving to a cheaper part of the country in about 9 months, though.

Ok it seems like I'm the asshole roommate? It really doesn't feel that way, but it sounds that way coming from most of you. I'll reiterate that it's not my house. Is it my responsibility to pay to soundproof my door?

@GalacticGravy: If it really is concerning you this much you need to sit down with him and have a heart to heart man. Even though he does own the place you are paying him rent to live there, you have the need for your own personal space and time just as he does. If your schedules are that different and it is a constant issue you may have to find another place. It sucks but living with people is VERY hard sometimes, especially when both schedules or people just don't gel perfectly. I wish you the best of luck with this as it can really suck to start disliking someone once you live together.

@notdavid: I have to apologize man, now I'm the big douche. I just see comments like this and get fired up and immediately retort. Sorry to be such an internet ass hat.

Well, killing him in his sleep is off the table since he would hear you coming. So fuck it I'm out of ideas.

@NoK said:

@GalacticGravy: If it really is concerning you this much you need to sit down with him and have a heart to heart man. Even though he does own the place you are paying him rent to live there, you have the need for your own personal space and time just as he does. If your schedules are that different and it is a constant issue you may have to find another place. It sucks but living with people is VERY hard sometimes, especially when both schedules or people just don't gel perfectly. I wish you the best of luck with this as it can really suck to start disliking someone once you live together.

I agree with this. It sounds like your best option. And yeah if you have the option, you should probably go to your gfs place to have sex. If he's that sound sensitive then yeah. Or have sex when he's at work.

First off, this guy isn't your roommate, he's your landlord. Don't try to approach this as if he's your roommate. Considering that there's a piece of info missing here, does he rent the rooms out because he wants the cash or is he renting them out as a favor to friends ? If the first you could try to level with him and tell him that he needs to figure out a way to deal with having people in the house and that you as friends are basically as good as it gets (so if he's not content with you, he's pretty much fucked). If the second you're just gonna have to deal with it.

At the end of the day, is his house, you don't like it get your own place or go back with mom and dad...

just an FYI, basic rule of life: if you live with other people and are gettin down in your room, your roommates can hear you.

He lets you live in his house for a small fee and you think he should be the one to fix the problem? I would say try talking to him about possible solutions and understand that it affects the both of you. Ultimately, though, it's of my opinion so far that you should be the one to fix it.

*edit* Also, yeah, we all wish our parents would have been able to given us a house. That would've been great. But I'll tell you right now that I wish that I had a friend who's parents gave him a house and who let me stay with him without charging me out the ass. It might be tough, but you really should try to count your blessings.

@Ares42: If I wasn't here, nobody would be. The other roommate is a friend of mine. The only reason she's here is because I'm here, and the only reason I'm here is because he'll let me. If I wasn't around he wouldn't rent the rooms. He was very apprehensive about her coming around to begin with.

Alright. Look like I'm the one who has to deal with it. I guess in the back of my head I feel so annoyed. If I was given a house by my parents it would be about 900,000 times cooler. He, for better or worse, matured way faster than any of my other friends. He's a normal (kinda boring) adult. I suppose he's being responsible, though. I know it's easy to knock him for how he lives, and how he runs this house. But in the end it is his house. He was dealt a better hand in life economically. I was given far better social skills, and have a good group of friends and a girlfriend. It's just the way it is, and I have to just deal with it until I move out in about 9 months.

Since you imply that you aren't really paying rent, I think the onus is on you for trying the door solution.

He's doing you a favor by allowing you to live with him, which helps you save money and is much better than living on the street or with your parents. You're apparently not paying him a great deal of money, so the least you can do is honor his requests. It doesn't look like he's asking you to do something extreme, dude just wants some uninterrupted sleep before he has to deal with snot-nosed bastards all day.

He sounds like a whiny bitch to struggle that hard with sleeping.

@BraveToaster said:

He's doing you a favor by allowing you to live with him, which helps you save money and is much better than living on the street or with your parents. You're apparently not paying him a great deal of money, so the least you can do is honor his requests. It doesn't look like he's asking you to do something extreme, dude just wants some uninterrupted sleep before he has to deal with snot-nosed bastards all day.

@CaptainCody said:

He sounds like a whiny bitch to struggle that hard with sleeping.

These two quotes sum up exactly how I feel at the same time.

@GalacticGravy: If you're going to choose a mentality by which to lead your life, I would not choose to follow in the footsteps of CaptainCody. Just throwing that out there.

Man. Now I feel totally guilty. Like a spoiled kid who wants to play Mega Man X4 on his friend's Playstation because he doesn't have one. But his friend doesn't like Mega Man games, and is nice enough to share his video games, but would rather play Medal of Honor.

@TheHT said:

@Captain_Felafel said:

If it's the doors, then why not soundproof your door? That way, dude doesn't have to deal with any changes to his room, while also addressing the problem.

Yeah, that sounds like the best option, especially if he's known to pull the "it's my house" card.

"It's my house, I can wake up in the middle of the night if I want to." That one always gets me.

sounds like you should be more considerate of your friend who seems to be doing you a solid by offering you a cheap place to live.

even if this wasn't a friend who was helping you out, and just a normal roommate, you should always be considerate of other people sleeping.

If you were my roommate acting like this, all entitled and shit I would throw your dumb ass out.

His house his rules deal with it.

To me, while for you it may be unrealistic, it sounds like you need to move out. Why are you living there in the first place? No one wants to be ruled over, and the only way you can do things your own way is if you find somewhere else to be. It seems like his life is much different than yours, and you're not leading the same life at all, so these kinds of things clash.

@drgrumbles: I haven't acted any way toward him. He says "keep it down" and I do. I'm just questioning whether or not it's his problem or mine. The wide majority say it's mine, and I accept that.

Don't be a dick to me for things I haven't even done yet.

This... This is why I will never have a roommate unless I'm dating her.

Why would he soundproof his door when your the one making the noise? soundproof your door and pay for it. Or just stop making noise.

I can't settle the argument about who's a douche and who's not, but I can tell you how to half ass soundproof a door on the cheap. Having been in several garage bands, its a skill I've picked up.

Basically just get ass loads of egg cartons and layer the inside of your door with them. Hang a thick blanket or, better yet, a rug or piece of carpeting over it.

BAM!!

Half-ass soundproof door. Note the half ass. This is by no means perfect, but it helps a lot, and is pretty cheap. You can sometimes luck out and find a metric shit-ton of egg cartons behind grocery stores, if not just get them...somewhere.....

If you have gaps under the door just block them shits up with some towels. I used that trick back in my teenage herb smokin' days. Unfortunately for me it doesn't block smells, but fortunately for you it helps lessen sounds

@Samael2138 that's awesome, dude. Thanks. Also, for everyone who wonder why I said to soundproof HIS door and not mine is because I thought that would be better for him. He wakes up to everything, including our other roommate coming home a 3AM. I thought it would be in his best interest, instead of blocking one source of noise to do his own door and help reduce all noise for him.

@GalacticGravy: Yah when someone is doing you a favor you get less of a say in the matter. If someone lent you a car it would be pretty shitty to complain that he, for instance, doesn't have a radio installed and he should buy one right away - cause you know he's doing you a favor by letting you use the car in the first place.

Yah you pay rent but if it's negligible compared to what you would otherwise be paying for likewise accommodations in your area then I say thats a favor too. Also as you have noticed - it's his house, it's his rules and nothing will change that. You may not necessarily be the "asshole" room mate but you have a night light and he doesn't. I used to work nights before I got a real one, and I totally understand that staying up and being active way past 4am is normal in that situation. To others making popcorn at 1am seems like a complete asshole thing to do - and yah maybe at 1am, with a guy that is a super light sleeper, popcorn is possibly the worst thing you could think of making - but I see how a night person just doesn't think in those categories anymore.

I'd say enjoy all the pros of the situation and put up with the lifestyle differences you guys have - or move in with some other night friends who won't be bothered by your night activity. But I wouldn't ask the guy who owns the house to soundproof doors because you want to stay up at night because throughout all of this he isn't your "roommate" as much as a landlord.

@Samael2138 said:

I can't settle the argument about who's a douche and who's not, but I can tell you how to half ass soundproof a door on the cheap. Having been in several garage bands, its a skill I've picked up.

Basically just get ass loads of egg cartons and layer the inside of your door with them. Hang a thick blanket or, better yet, a rug or piece of carpeting over it.

BAM!!

Half-ass soundproof door. Note the half ass. This is by no means perfect, but it helps a lot, and is pretty cheap. You can sometimes luck out and find a metric shit-ton of egg cartons behind grocery stores, if not just get them...somewhere.....

If you have gaps under the door just block them shits up with some towels. I used that trick back in my teenage herb smokin' days. Unfortunately for me it doesn't block smells, but fortunately for you it helps lessen sounds

Won't do shit

If you can work whenever you want why not synch up your schedule with his ?

egg cartons have no effect on sound. people just use them because they're a similar shape to the foam found on the walls of some recording booths, but the shape has nothing to do it.

stopping sound is just all about physically preventing the sound waves to pass, so the more dense a material is, the better. So many super thick blankets, some rubber floor mats, even stacking books around the door should help do the trick.

also, dude's absolutely heard you having sex. no question. just have your GF yell his name out every once in a while to smooth it over.

I don't have that issue with sleeping but I am sensitive to the sound of people talking. You have no idea how annoying it is. I would get rid of it if I could. It is something I always have to plan around because if I hear the sound of people while trying to do something, I become incapable of enjoying it. I can't do things or get absorbed in the background with that sound. Even hearing lets me know I can hear them and that can be enough to spoil whatever I was doing.

@GalacticGravy said:

Edit: One more thing. He has never complained about the TV being too loud, or music, or games. Just people talking. I think it's the bass. I remember, as a kid, being unable to sleep because I could hear my father talking. I couldn't hear what he was saying, I just heard this bass line of his speech coming into my room while he talked to my mother. I think it's that, and not necessarily the volume of speech. Just the bass.

Oh, I know this. I have a neighbor who used to make parties during weeknights and I can't sleep because of their noise. Constant talking and loud laughing. I called the police four times by now and they threatened her with a 400 bucks fine. It's been beautifully quiet lately :D

Rent a motel room. The ladies love it when men do that.

Sounds like he's a good guy for letting you and your other roommate stay over there. If he has some problems, which he does I glean from the text, it's your responsibility to be nice about it or come up with solutions. Isn't he open to this? I mean, he kinda wants quiet so I'm sure he wants to look for a solution.
 
You do sound a little spoiled however, don't knock him for doing his thing in his house, you wouldn't like it if someone else did it to you as well. Be grateful and work together.

@GalacticGravy I would say try and get the guy to see a doctor about his incredibly irregular sleep patterns. Granted it could have the side effect of him knocking off his whining about not being able to sleep and blaming a silent fart waking him up on you, but this sounds like an issue that will most likely bother him for a large chunk of his life if he doesn't try to get it straightened out.

If all else fails, just use a chloroform rag on 'em around 11 PM and bam, you're free to live your schedule as you desire.

@TaliciaDragonsong said:

Sounds like he's a good guy for letting you and your other roommate stay over there. If he has some problems, which he does I glean from the text, it's your responsibility to be nice about it or come up with solutions. Isn't he open to this? I mean, he kinda wants quiet so I'm sure he wants to look for a solution. You do sound a little spoiled however, don't knock him for doing his thing in his house, you wouldn't like it if someone else did it to you as well. Be grateful and work together.

And no, he doesn't sound spoiled for being frustrated with his inability to actually live because his schedule is different. Also, pretty sure teacher baby is not a good guy if he pulls the "It's my house" card. That's a cunt thing to do. You lose all Good Guy points when you pull that shit on someone who is trying to have a meaningful conversation you just don't want to hear.

You're a tenant and it sounds like you have a pretty sweet deal. Play by the rules or find somewhere else to live.

Have you both tried to figure out a solution? You are kinda in the wrong for doing crap that early in the morning when HE owns the house and he has to be up early with a normal job.  
 
And your kinda coming off as an ass calling him a boring adult and being pissy about his habits. 

Well this is rich. Your landlord is a guy who works normal hours and is asking you to be quiet after 11PM and you have company over until 2AM on weekdays and you act like your landlord is the one who's being a dick? You are nearly 30 man, maybe it is time to grow up?

@CaptainCody said:

He sounds like a whiny bitch to struggle that hard with sleeping.

I dont think a problem like that makes someone a whiny bitch. I am a light sleeper too and had to start using ear plugs do too being woken up by my roommate all the time, and it used to suck especially when I had to wake up early for work.

@GalacticGravy: I don't know if anyone has suggested it yet or not, but a lot of sound can travel under door gaps. Especially if there's tile or wood floors. So I'd suggest shoving a towel or two under there and test it with him to see if it works for him.

@joshwent said:

egg cartons have no effect on sound. people just use them because they're a similar shape to the foam found on the walls of some recording booths, but the shape has nothing to do it.

stopping sound is just all about physically preventing the sound waves to pass, so the more dense a material is, the better. So many super thick blankets, some rubber floor mats, even stacking books around the door should help do the trick.

also, dude's absolutely heard you having sex. no question. just have your GF yell his name out every once in a while to smooth it over.

You're right about the dense material, wrong about the shape. A very massive material is very difficult to vibrate so the heavier something is, the less noise gets through. You're wrong about the shape of the material. The shape of the material absolutely has noise reduction properties, there's a reason the insulating material is shaped like that. When the sound hits the angled material it bounces back and hits the other wall of it and continues to do so in exponentially increasing frequency until it reaches the vertex. Every time the sound wave bounces off the surface it loses energy and eventually fades away. This same principle is why foam is noise attenuating, the small air pockets in the foam can be modeled as blunt angled surfaces within the material and trap sound, in the same manner as previously described, as the sound passes through the material.