Sooo.....the Mormons stopped by...

I opened the door, and there they were, 2 mormons. They opened the conversation by talking about what happened when Jesus came to America. 
 
I feel like kind of a dick, because I started laughing uncontrollably at them and just closed the door. All I could think about was South Park, dumb dumb dumb. 
 
Anyone else have the mormons come to your house and all you can think about it South Park?

 
When the Mormons or Jehovas show up I tend to just not answer the door. Fuck them. There needs to be a no-door-to-door-religious-fanatics list kind of like the do-not-call list and they should have to abide by it. :|

I think everything should join my religion. It's called Nomrom...

If someone came to my house and started talking about Jesus I would do the same thing, unless they came in the morning, then I would tell them to go fuck themselves and close the door

I don't do door-by-door solicitation at all.  It doesn't matter if they're trying to "save my soul" or if they're trying to get my vote.

You did nothing wrong at all, so dont feel like a dick. Any time anyone is coming to YOUR house, spouting random shit its your place to tell them to shut the fuck up, or whatever, and close the door in their face.

I would have invited them in. Two down, 13 million to go.

Came to my house?  I live in Utah.  95% of the people in my neighborhood are mormon.  Actually everyone in my family besides me is mormon.  So yeah, I have to put up with them all the time.  It also doesn't help that my dad is in complete denial that I don't consider myself a mormon.  He's always asking me to say prayers or when I'm going to start coming back to church again.  A lot of the stuff you hear about mormons is actually a lie, they aren't really crazy religious freaks, but they are kinda pushy.

Id just close the door and start screaming/shouting/crying/banging on the wall/ etc.  that should put me on there watchlist...

They tend to come by my place allot. Usually once or twice a week. I usually tell them to fuck off, or that I'm atheist and they usually leave.
 
One time I chased them away with baseball bat though. That stopped their visits for while... I was having a bad day.

"  When the Mormons or Jehovas show up I tend to just not answer the door. Fuck them. There needs to be a no-door-to-door-religious-fanatics list kind of like the do-not-call list and they should have to abide by it. :| "

I'm Mormon myself, so no, I've never had such an experience.

I just don't answer the door. That way, it's only a minor annoyance. Door-to-door religious salesmen should be banned.

Once, perhaps twice. Next chance I get I'm totally going to make a sport out of it, but I need a partner for that and I don't have one at the moment. I might even have to prepare scripts for the next time, I should get started on that in a few days. Better than being a witty bastard to missionaries on the spot, where's the joy in that, I fumble with my words and actions and ultimately fail in the end. 
 
But I would never laugh at them, I would feel like a prick. I hate being rude to people in their faces, even if they are rude to me. Making fun of them without them realizing it is the most I can handle.

hah, I've never done it like that before.  I try to be polite, no laughing.

I surprisingly don't get any. I live two or three towns over from where Joseph Smith claims he had his first visitation from Jesus and found the Golden Plates or whatever.

Was BoG one of them?
 
In the early 90s, a couple of fellows of the Mormon faith dropped by. They were cool and I invited them in. I enjoyed being a heathen at the time, so we had much to talk about. They also made homemade action movies, good stuff, wonder what became of them.

" They tend to come by my place allot. Usually once or twice a week. I usually tell them to fuck off, or that I'm atheist and they usually leave.  One time I chased them away with baseball bat though. That stopped their visits for while... I was having a bad day. "

Would you open the door if there were two attractive honeys?

" @ahriman22 said:

" They tend to come by my place allot. Usually once or twice a week. I usually tell them to fuck off, or that I'm atheist and they usually leave.  One time I chased them away with baseball bat though. That stopped their visits for while... I was having a bad day. "

I have some pretty chill Mormon friends.  It's weird that they don't enjoy fountain drinks.

" I have some pretty chill Mormon friends.  It's weird that they don't enjoy fountain drinks. "

" I opened the door, and there they were, 2 mormons. They opened the conversation by talking about what happened when Jesus came to America.  I feel like kind of a dick, because I started laughing uncontrollably at them and just closed the door. All I could think about was South Park, dumb dumb dumb.  Anyone else have the mormons come to your house and all you can think about it South Park? "

nope i live out of town, have a few neighbors and i don't think they would want to walk all the way to my house.

Did you ever have The Moomins in the US?

I've had hilarious moments with Jehova's Witnesses.  This is what one of them said to me:
 
"You know, in school, they teach a lot of facts, but sometimes they don't.  For example, evolution - which is still just a theory, after all, I guess you would call it conguesture..."
 
Yes.  She fucking said conguesture.  A clever, clever portmanteau of guess and conjecture.
 
I have had several long conversations with them before.  I think I'm marked, like on some list of people that are almost there.

I would've been like, LOL WUT?

Not mormons, but Jehovah's Witnesses.  Its like, damn.  It was this older man with two kids, like 8 and 9 i think.  I felt so bad for the kids.  Told em I didn't believe in god and one of the kids let out this like sigh or uh oh.  I felt like kicking him in the face.

" @ArchScabby: They as in my friends, in particular, who are Mormon, not all of them, mind you.  I read up a bit about Mormon traditions through Wikipedia and found out caffeinated beverages are in a way "discouraged," but hey that's Wikipedia. "

" I'm Mormon myself, so no, I've never had such an experience. "

Jesus did not come to America, everybody knows that; he teleported to the Moon and, with the help of William Shakespeare, defeated Zeus and freed the people of the Moon from his tyranny.

All I get are urban kids scripted in public speaking trying to sell me shit so they can go to whereverthefuck. Much more annoying.

I find mormons peculiar. Mormonism is the youngest religion I can name, that has a large following. Of course it had to bloom in the crazy USA. Anyway, I'd love to know more about them, even though I find it totally insane. Just like Christianity...

I have once. 
 
I sat out by the porch with them and made them feel uncomfortable by asking them questions like "So, if i were to become a Mormon, would i still be able to sacrifice a cat in the middle of swastika painted on the ground so that the water gods can make my lands fertile?"
 
When the tried to leave i would use the old "But, i wish to be saved!" bit. The objective is to tie up their time as much as possible.

 Mormonism is the youngest religion I can name, that has a large following.

I had a couple come to my door many years ago and they thought their luck had finally changed.  I  let them in! 
 
We had long theological discussions and I went for the entire ride.  I went to meetings, saw films/documentaries, went to church many times and even priesthood meetings.  I loved it.  I loved the the people.  I really admired their commitment.  However. 
 
I am a fundamentalist atheist (yes they exist - we are hardcore).  In the end, I believe I was having more effect on them than they were on me.  They just wanted me to have faith and I just questioned everything.  I still have friends in the Mormon Church.  Please be nice to them and invite them in for a drink.  Many of them are really nice people, just tell them that they have no chance of converting you and you will find it a pleasant experience.

I remember one time when I was in town and this guy was trying to sell me this huge religious book (Don't know what the book was exactly I wasn't paying any attention). He kept following me for about 10 minutes and I ended up needing to tell him to fuck off.

I get "Jo-Hos"
I like to stand outside and argue with them, Politely of course. 
And smoke a cigarette, Which they LOVE btw lol

Jesus came to America? 
 
What the fuck?

Hey, it's not like you told them off... I mean, it sounds like you couldn't help but laugh.

"  When the Mormons or Jehovas show up I tend to just not answer the door. Fuck them. There needs to be a no-door-to-door-religious-fanatics list kind of like the do-not-call list and they should have to abide by it. :| "

Its just as crazy as any other religion, I just don't like it jammed down my throat

" It was this older man with two kids, like 8 and 9 i think.  I felt so bad for the kids.....one of the kids let out this like sigh or uh oh.  I felt like kicking him in the face. "

my mom and i used to hide until they went away. isn't that awful? heh. heh.