THIS IS A LONG ONE, FOLKS, BUT IT'S A TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL ON BLOGS TODAY!!!
My boss walked in with a copy of UFC 2009 Undisputed last night, and of course, I just had to jump in on that action. I had little to no interest in the game at all until I saw the Quick Look here on Giant Bomb, and the excitement that Jeff had for the game is seemingly infectious. I mean, just LOOK at how many people are playing the game and commenting on it, right?
Here's the conclusion I've come to: I need to hang up the gloves while I still have the ability to use my arms. That game is B-R-U-T-A-L! I went through the tutorials a good three or four times on each lesson, just to make sure that I knew what I was doing. I played through the majority of the career, just to make sure I knew what I was doing.
Once you hit the online...you don't have any CLUE what you are doing!!! This could be directly relative to the lack of matchmaking in the online mode, as I was fighting against level 28s and 41s and 49s and 63s, and every now and then, I'd find a level 1 or 7 or 5. Needless to say, even the level 1s were stomping my ass. There only seem to be three players of choice: Lyoto Michida, Rampage Jackson, or Forrest Griffin. Rarely do I find someone playing as Dan Henderson or Rashad Evans...or hell, even Chuck Liddell. In case you didn't notice...I'm playing mainly in Light Heavyweight.
Maybe that has something to do with it - the weight class. Nope! I tried out Welterweight as well, and I got rocked for the most part. So what am I doing wrong here? I go in for the submission, and I KNOW my button mashing skills rock the socks off anyone I've ever played online or off. I rarely lose when button mashing is involved. When I get the takedown, it usually results in being automatically reversed, and I can't reverse it myself (despite my character obviously doing everything he can to get out of it, struggling all the way). The ground and pound gets me like crazy.
I'm also trying to figure out how the seemingly random KO system works. I had a guy playing at Lyoto, level 1, that delivered a step kick followed by a head kick, and the match was over! OVER!!! Now, I've played as Lyoto...and I haven't had that happen exactly. I have, however, beaten the computer in less than 20 seconds (check the achievements when they update) without grappling (again...), but that was just with a simple "run in, pound the shit out of the dood's face, and head kick him FTW". It felt VERY luck based when it happened...no skill required. I've had this kind of thing come across online as well.
When you have a roster of stock-piled UFC characters, and you KNOW the stats...it's just a little more than surprising that someone can nail you with a couple kicks, a takedown, 6 hammerfists or so, then it's KO...but when you try to do the SAME EXACT THING to another opponent, and every hit lands...they just get right back up and pummel you with head kicks...EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE BLOCKING THE FUCK OUT OF THEM!!!
So...I don't know. I'm not saying that I think I should win EVERY fight...but I am saying that there were fights where I honestly believed I should've won. I don't expect to beat someone who is level 63 and one of their titles is "Perfect Ground and Pound". lol Nonetheless, I do believe I should be winning when my opponent has almost no stamina left while I'm rockin 75% stamina, and I've been laying into him the ENTIRE ROUND...but he gets one lucky little kick on me and it's KO. The randomness of it all just doesn't suit me very well.
With all that said...I'm going to complete the career modes on all the difficulties and achievement whore what I can out of it, then know my role and stay offline. = D
AND NOW, ON TO GROUND BEEF
Last blog, I mentioned that I would lay the smack down on you fools who think you know something about ground beef (and hell, I may have already written up some form of report about ground beef on this site before...fucked if I know). Do you really know what's going on here? I don't think so!!! Therefore, I'll make it plain and clear: the type of ground beef you are using will dramatically change the flavor and taste of your food, as well as the consistency of your meal. What does all that mean? Well...
From what I've noticed over so much time, people always seem to use the WRONG ground beef. Why? Well, ignorance plays a big part in it. Many people just aren't aware of what they are buying. With the economic recession hitting us hard, I feel this is a perfect opportunity to keep you from buying that 73/27 for your burgers because it's cheaper. Now, what do all the numbers mean and such?
73/27 = 73% meat, 27% fat content. When cooked to "well done", fat content will actually reduce by up to 7%. Fat content is important, however, as it helps to encase the flavor from your seasonings and the natural flavor of dead cow. = D
Without further ado, here is a simple bullet chart of what types of ground beef there are, and what you should be using them for.
- 73/27 - This is the cheapest ground beef you can find, and anything lower than this is worthless for ground beef. The main use for 73/27 is simple grounded browning beef that would be added to a mix for pasta sauce, the classic Southern dish "Shit on a Shingle", or other forms of "mix ground beef with _______" usage. You NEVER want to use this for making your hamburgers, as it will cook down a ton from all the fat content in it (27% mixture, mind you, of fat). Therefore, that massive burger you just pounded out...will simply become a puny appetizer.
- 80/20 - This is personally my favorite form of ground beef. Why? When cooked to "well done", the fat content is the perfect level for keeping the flavor of your seasonings. You will want to use 80/20 for skillet-based burgers mostly, but you can also use it for enchiladas, Chili Bears, and other Tex-Mex/Mexican dishes. It also works for ground beef, but using it in pasta sauces might give too much meat per portion of sauce.
- 85/15 - You like to BBQ? This is the beef you'll want to use when you are grilling. Since fat drains when your burger is cooked, this means you'll get a decently lean burger without messing your grill up too much. You might be saying "but Josh, BBQ is all about the flavoring more than skillet cooking it". You are ABSOLUTELY right. However, if you are using a PROPER grill (and I'm not talking about that propane pussy bullshit either...more like an old fashioned oil drum with two Harleys pipes for smoking your shit), you'll be able to keep all that flavor in your burgers by simply pounding your seasonings in with your beef. Don't overdo the seasoning, however, as salts will break down the beef content and leave you with more fat. Therefore, keep the seasonings light and let the grilling bring the flavor out for you.
- 93/7 - This would be baking beef, ladies and gentlemen. Many people believe that it's perfect for making burgers because it's super lean. However, you'll usually find yourself with a burnt outer crust if you make a burger with it, as there is no fat for the burger to sit in. You'll find, however, that using 93/7 for something like a meatloaf works MIRACLES. Other than that...well...93/7 is pretty much useless in my eyes. = /
Now what about seasonings? How do we season these things for an incredible flavor? Well, that's usually up to you. However, here's a couple of my personal favorite seasonings:
- Montreal Steak Seasoning - STEAK SEASONING ON A BURGER? BLASPHEMY!!! Not so, my dear friends. This is actually an incredible way to pull some zest out of your burger's natural flavors.
- Mesquite Seasoning - Being that I'm from Texas, this is a necessity in EVERYTHING we cook, but it's especially important to make sure you use the Mesquite seasoning in light portions...because the taste is VERY big. If you are grilling, just use real Mesquite, though.
- Italian Seasoning - I know it sounds weird, but adding a small amount of Italian Seasoning will give it a slightly airy feeling, while enhancing the flavors of your other seasonings.
- Cumin Seed - You CAN use this in your burgers, but honestly, you'll want to save this for dishes like enchiladas, tacos, meatloaf, etc (and it works great in a rub for ribs, too). I prefer using ground Cumin seed, but if you want them whole, that's perfectly fine as well.
- Guy's Seasoning - THIS is my secret weapon. Guy's Seasoning is an all-around meat seasoning that works great for rubs, sprinkles, ground beef, and more. Mix it it in with some Mexican seasoning for your enchiladas, and I guarantee they'll taste like Heaven. In case you are wondering, I assume Heaven tastes like going down on Holly Valance. Mix it with your burgers, and I know you'll find not only an increase in flavor, but an increase in hair on your chest. = D
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!!! Now you know everything you need to know about ground beef. Hopefully, this will keep you from destroying the single greatest dish on the planet (that would be burgers).
As a side note, why are they called hamburgers? That's because they originate from Hamburg, Germany, you fools!!!
'Til next time...
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