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I guess it's sunk cost. No need to torture myself over what are effectively phantasms.

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Thank you, Ryan.

It's rare for me to feel strongly when I hear someone famous has died; I think about all the people I've known much better whom I've lost over the years and feel I have enough on my plate. But there were a few people who were well-known, whether they were familiar just to hobbyists or were household names, whose loss was a shock to me. I think it had to do with my investment in what they were doing and how well they were doing it, and in a way they became distant family-members through my indirect connection to them.

Ryan's death was one of those shocks.

I have maybe one private message from Ryan, a short note about Beatles Rock Band probably not being possible for a Quick Look due to copyright issues, 4 and a half years ago. I starred it, just so I could find it again, though I didn't think this would be the reason why. My interaction with him directly was minimal, though once in a while he'd quote a wiki page that I'd helped edit, and I felt like, through him, I'd actually contributed to a podcast, yet this little community has been around for a long time, internetly-speaking, and it was built in part through his efforts. I remember him especially for his energy, solid podcasting skills, his needling (and sometimes deliciously surreal) wit, and his low tolerance for bullshit.

It's better for me to get out of the way and let others who new him better say their piece, but I had to say mine.

Thanks for those smiles, Ryan. Rest in peace.