Christmas 1997 – The Year my World Shifted

To this day I still look back to the Christmas of 1997 with a certain degree of envy. It was over that festive season that I went from being an avid, yet fairly typical, fan of videogames to something of an obsessive. It was the point at which I realised what videogames could be and how, in a manner not matched by any other medium of fictional storytelling, they could draw you into their worlds. It was a time in which I genuinely felt my world shift a little. Unfortunately, it was also the point at which I became something of a cynic.

It was Christmas Eve and, like every year up to that point in my thirteen short years on this planet, I was spending it with the rest of my family at my auntie’s house. With supper over, I decided to leave the adults to their wine and jazz music and headed upstairs to the study room. It was, I knew then, to be a monumental night… my last ever with my SNES.

Having pestered my mum with countless coercive notes and some not so subtle hints for over six months, I knew what laid ahead of me the next morning. I knew because I’d rummaged through the entire house looking for the thing two weeks prior… I was getting a Sony Playstation.

But still, my SNES was near and dear to me, and I wanted to honour the occasion by booting up one of the first games I ever owned on the system. Nope not one of the classics like Super Mario World or Mario Kart, but my much loved, FIFA International Soccer. Let’s see out the SNES with a bang I thought as I steered Brazil to a 15-0 win over Canada.

Not but 20 minutes had passed when my older (and by older I mean he was a grown-up!) cousin arrived at the door telling me to turn the thing off because he wanted to play something. Being the little brat that I was, I quickly told him where to go, but then I saw what was in his hands… Ohhh he’d only gone and brought up his very own Playstation… The SNES was unceremoniously ripped out from the back of the TV quicker than you can say “Whatgamesyagot?” and I sat their barely able to contain my excitement… CDs??? WOW! BLACK CDs???? OMG!!!!

But then what my cousin decided to play confused me beyond words. I sat there decidedly bummed out while he proceeded to play some game full of text and weird blocky characters. “Final Fantasy VII”, he said. “Oh”, I replied as I slumped down into my armchair in a sulk. I just couldn’t wrap my head around what I was looking at. Having never been exposed to the JRPG before (my 13 year old self was not even aware that there was such a thing) I had nothing with which to compare it.

A few minutes later there appeared a large red dragon type thing on the screen. “Neo Bahamut”, my cousin said. “Oh”, I replied. Well that seemed pretty cool. I was still utterly confused as to what was happening, but my interest was a piqued a little.

My cousin kept playing for a while before then deciding that he had probably better go back downstairs and socialise with the adults. He contemplated leaving the Playstation hooked up (so he could no doubt play some more later once I had gone to bed), but upon deciding that I was not to be trusted (rightly-so) he pulled out the cables and took the console away. Still in somewhat of a daze I hooked back up the SNES and booted up Super Mario All-Stars. But something wasn’t quite right. It all just felt a bit childish somehow. After five minutes I gave up. My confidence in my ability to enjoy this new breed of adult videogames was shot. Dare I say it, I even felt a little scared to receive my Playstation the next day. I went to bed and slept a fretful night.

Suffice to say, I opened my present in the morning and was immediately back in my comfort zone having also received the football management sim, Player Manager. That odd text-heavy game from the previous night now nothing more than some distant fever dream. Confidence was restored.

So it was then a couple of days later when I was out in town looking to spend my Christmas money on a shiny new game for my console that I came back into contact with it. The cover art so simple and uncluttered, the CD case double tiered and solid looking (it comes on THREE CDs??) and the name so obtuse and beguiling. I stood there for a good thirty minutes just reading the same blurb on the back of the box, entirely unsure as to what to do. Tomb Raider seemed the obvious choice here, but that strangely named blocky game kept pulling me back. After much deliberation I plucked up the courage and took the double tiered case to the counter and parted with forty of my Christmas pounds.

It would be easy for me to sit here and list off all my favourite moments from Final Fantasy VII and tell you how I think it’s the best game ever blah blah blah, but knowing how many articles there are already out there doing just that, I won’t. To my thirteen year old self, it truly was the greatest thing ever and I held that conviction for many years to come (backed up by a number of good friends who tended to agree with me), but I am now able to look back with more objective eyes and judge the game on its own merits and failings.

What is undeniable about my experience with Final Fantasy VII though, is that it set the early benchmark for what I demand in terms of narrative engagement from games. For many of its failings, the game is entirely successful in creating a world which you grow to care about. The atmosphere is viscous and all-encompassing, the characters varied and charismatic. These many elements come together to form an eccentric yet cohesive whole that not many other games are able to match. Devoid of the blandness or mono-cultural focus of many mainstream games, Final Fantasy VII was able to flourish in its mash up of quirky and dystopian themes.

That is not to say that it actually is the best game of all time (neither objectively nor using my own subjective view point), as it has very much been surpassed in the years following its release (and by other games the preceded it). Other games have told better stories, have had more interesting worlds, have created more engaging characters and have delivered more impactful moments, but few have been able to draw me in to their clutches at quite the same level. It would be easy to dismiss this as simply a combination of nostalgia for the game and a youthful naivety on my part for not knowing that there was more skillfully created work out there, but I don’t think that is fair. Final Fantasy VII is lauded as being a landmark title and in my view justly so.

It is then something of a shame that its shadow still looms so large over my experience of videogames. As much as I try to enter into a new game entirely bias-free, I always end up making the same comparison - Do I love this game as much as my thirteen year old self loved Final Fantasy VII? But how could I? In 1997 I was young, naïve and primed to fall in love. In 2016, I am older, more haggard and a whole lot more cynical. In 1997 I was able to look past Final Fantasy VII’s failings and embrace its whole. In 2016 I am often unable to get past the slightest contradiction in a game’s narrative. In 1997 Final Fantasy VII set the bar unattainably high and then made the initial playing field decidedly uneven.

But if you ask me would I delete my memory of playing that game back in 1997, then the answer would have to be a very definite “no”. My world shifted a little back then and I remember my first adventure through those three black discs as acutely as if I were actually there. I feel the heat of Nibelheim in flame, I shiver in awe and trepidation as Sapphire Weapon approaches Junon and I shout in despair as Cloud hands the Black Materia to Sephiroth.

These are memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life and they are the reason why Final Fantasy VII will remain my most pivotal point in gaming. It may not be the best or even my favourite game of all time, but it is definitely my most cherished.