I bought this game because of the soundtrack.
By LordXavierBritish 9 Comments
I've been trying to justify it in my head, but the fact is that this is actually the only reason.
Just listen to those fucking whistles or whatever, how can you not want to play this game.
Well, okay maybe that isn't the only reason. I'm a huge fan of Clover Studios, and the new Platinum Games studio made up of its key members, so that was probably part of it too.
I've been playing quite a bit of it, and I have to wonder why it got such mix reviews. By today's standards it is, of course, somewhat outdated in both its graphics and design, but iti is still one fine piece of fucking game.
Now you may be asking: But British, why make a topic about God Hand?
Well that question is very simply answered my dear forum goer.
CUZ YO, NO ONE TALKS ABOUT FUCKING GOD HAND ANYMORE
Everyone's always chattin' each other up at their tea parties about friggin' Shadow of the Collossus and Kingdom Hearts.
NO.
This is where the action fucking is. Is there any other game that let's you pimp slap a huge cigar smoking, latino accent spewin', demon thugness on the PS2?
NO.
NO THERE IS NOT.
From what I've played of God Hand so far, it is fucking awesome. It's a Beat 'Em Up with the complexity of a fighting game. Every one of your attack buttons can be customized to a different move, and game even let's you come up with your own combo strings that can be pulled off by mashing the Square button. I've never played a game in the same vein as God Hand that has offered up this much depth with such a simple premise. It takes awhile to get used to the game mechanics at first, but it is one of those situations in which the first level is the hardest because you are still figuring out how everything works.
The best part is the difficulty. You may think "Oh I can just pick Normal on the select screen and get through this without much trouble. I may die a few times, but I'll get it eventually."
NO. YOU SHUT YOUR COCKY MOUTH.
This is not a game with just one difficulty. There are difficulties within difficulties. The better you play the stronger your enemies get. If you rack up enough kills without taking damage, eventually you will "Level Up", and by "Level Up" it of course means "Everything is going to kick your ass harder now." If that weren't enough, there are also the Demons. No, not the bosses. Just random ass Demons. Sometimes a normal thug will die only to have the Anti-Christ itself rise from his corpse.
Picture this: You just fought off an army of thugs. You had to fight hard, and you lost most of your health, but at least you came out alive...
That's why I love this game. It delivers the brutal punishment that so many developers now a days seem to scared to force upon their audience. It knows it's hard too. Remember those levels I talked about? Well there are three of them on Normal difficulty. They are Level 1, Level 2, and Level Die.
LEVEL. DIE.
It's the little touches like this that make God Hand so fun. All the dialogue is completely incomprehensible, none of the character designs make sense, and the hardest difficulty is Level Die.
That is the kind of game this is. And it doesn't care what you think.
That's why I'm so surprised at some of the old reviews I've been reading for it. A lot of them seem to complain that walls disappear if the camera passes through them, but I saw that as almost necessary. Would you really want the camera to cramp in and spaz out while you are trying to fight off an army of thugs? I'll admit that the camera itself is a bit of an issue though. I remember one time vividly where I was at low health and fighting one of the random demons. All I had to do was land one last Roulette attack on him and I would have made it out alive, however I was stuck in a corner and couldn't get the camera around to find where the demon had gone. As i turned around to the opposite direction, I tried to initiate the attack in hopes that he would be behind me. It was then that the demon teleported behind me and began attacking as I tried to get out of the Roulette screen.
You can guess what happens next.
It really is kind of a problem, but I can't really think of a way that they could have implemented camera control more fluently when nearly every button is used unless they simply had a fixed angle. That isn't entirely unfeasible though, i mean, God of War did it. I kind of wish that someone would pick up this IP and make a new entry in the series. If you were to apply the advancements of modern game design to God Hand, then I have no doubt in my mind that it could be the one of the greatest games of all time.
That isn't to say that it isn't a classic though, because it totally is. This is the kind of game that cult fan bases are built around. There are still a few forums out there even where you find people who are still playing and still trying to get better at the game. There is even a God Hand Bible I found that lists all the terminologies for the game that people have been using, they have made and memorized fucking acronyms for moves. That is dedication.
All in all, you should probably buy this game. I was able to pick up a copy of it for $10, though I've seen copies online for anywhere from twenty to even forty dollars and beyond. I gotta say though, even twenty is worth the price of admission for this gem. They just don't make such blatantly arcadey games like this anymore. Bayonetta is probably the only think I can compare it too, but then again you can't sucker punch bald fat guys or eat fruit off the ground in that game so fuck it.
