A Randomized Link to the Past - Episode II: Pasta Fiend Tale: Hell-Zonked Ghetto

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Welcome to the second part of this The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past Randomizer LP! I simulpublished (real word) the first two episodes, so if you found this one before Episode 1 be sure to start over here for an explanation of what's going on.

At the end of the first episode, Garflink finally made it out of Hyrule Castle's sewers after trying and failing to bash his way through with a useless blue stick and with one fewer key than was required. The overworld of the Kingdom of Hyrule is now Garflink's oyster carbonara, but where to go first?

We're here in sunny Kakariko! We could head directly to Sahasrahla and the Eastern Palace, but Kakariko has the largest quantity of chests in the game so it makes sense to see what we can find here first. I'd really like to find the sword or the bow here, the former to make combat (and life) a lot easier, and the latter for the silver arrows and also for completing the Eastern Palace. Still, beggars can't be choosers.
We're here in sunny Kakariko! We could head directly to Sahasrahla and the Eastern Palace, but Kakariko has the largest quantity of chests in the game so it makes sense to see what we can find here first. I'd really like to find the sword or the bow here, the former to make combat (and life) a lot easier, and the latter for the silver arrows and also for completing the Eastern Palace. Still, beggars can't be choosers.
First off, we have the basement of Blink's House, once I remember how to Sokoban this shit out of the way. There's four good chances at some valuable items here, so fingers crossed.
First off, we have the basement of Blink's House, once I remember how to Sokoban this shit out of the way. There's four good chances at some valuable items here, so fingers crossed.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nop- well, I guess that's not too bad. That makes two of those now.
Nop- well, I guess that's not too bad. That makes two of those now.
One last chance: with the bombs, we have access to a fifth chest down here.
One last chance: with the bombs, we have access to a fifth chest down here.
Rats. Oh well, there's more than one way to skin a cat. So to speak.
Rats. Oh well, there's more than one way to skin a cat. So to speak.
Ding-dong bell, pussy's down the well: this is normally where you'd go to find bombs, but I'm hoping for something else.
Ding-dong bell, pussy's down the well: this is normally where you'd go to find bombs, but I'm hoping for something else.
Sure, you know what? I'll take it. Heck yeah, gimme that hammer.
Sure, you know what? I'll take it. Heck yeah, gimme that hammer.

Side-Note: The Magic Hammer is the first dungeon item you find in the Dark World, and is the only way to get past the wooden stake barricades that cordon off a lot of the Dark World's regions. It's the only weapon that can damage certain enemies - though, oddly, the boss of the dungeon it pertains to is not on that list of exclusives, as he can also be hurt by bombs - but it's also a pretty powerful weapon in general and is usually considered the best alternative for the sword, if the sword is inaccessible. Another lucky early find for Garflink!

Get equipped with: Garfield's canonical weapon
Get equipped with: Garfield's canonical weapon

Oh hey, I wondered where this went. I still have some use for the ol' boomerang.
Oh hey, I wondered where this went. I still have some use for the ol' boomerang.

Side-Note: The Boomerang is even more ubiquitous than the hookshot as a constant companion of Link, usually found early in his adventures. Its damage potential isn't significant - like the hookshot, it tends to only stun all but the smallest enemies - but it's useful for grabbing distant items. There's also an enhanced version available somewhere out there, though I'm not sure if it's part of the randomizer pool or an item I have to upgrade the usual way by tossing it into the right fairy fountain.

Man, is there seriously going to be one of these for every weapon? I should've checked earlier. Gawanga!
Man, is there seriously going to be one of these for every weapon? I should've checked earlier. Gawanga!
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All right, so the other chests weren't anything to write home about, but that's two fairly useful items to take with us.
All right, so the other chests weren't anything to write home about, but that's two fairly useful items to take with us.
The vendor in Kakariko is supposed to sell you your first bottle for 100 rupees, which we have and then some with the many rupee chests we've found, but it's also part of the randomizer pool. Instead, we get a slightly less useful heart piece. One more to go before we get our second heart upgrade though!
The vendor in Kakariko is supposed to sell you your first bottle for 100 rupees, which we have and then some with the many rupee chests we've found, but it's also part of the randomizer pool. Instead, we get a slightly less useful heart piece. One more to go before we get our second heart upgrade though!
The chest in the back of the Kakariko bar turns out to be similarly fruitless. That's all the Kakariko chests I know about off-hand, but I'm sure we'll be back again - for one thing, the sick kid is supposed to be give me his butterfly net, but I need to show him a bottle first. Kind of weird we haven't found one yet, really.
The chest in the back of the Kakariko bar turns out to be similarly fruitless. That's all the Kakariko chests I know about off-hand, but I'm sure we'll be back again - for one thing, the sick kid is supposed to be give me his butterfly net, but I need to show him a bottle first. Kind of weird we haven't found one yet, really.
I can't believe it didn't occur to me before to check the map. I'd been laboring under the assumption that all three Pendants of Virtue were where they should be but if you can tell from this image only the green Pendant of Courage is available, and not in its usual place. Instead, we have the second and third Dark World crystals in the Eastern Palace and Tower of Hera, respectively. Oof, this is going to get awkward if I don't find the mirror soon...
I can't believe it didn't occur to me before to check the map. I'd been laboring under the assumption that all three Pendants of Virtue were where they should be but if you can tell from this image only the green Pendant of Courage is available, and not in its usual place. Instead, we have the second and third Dark World crystals in the Eastern Palace and Tower of Hera, respectively. Oof, this is going to get awkward if I don't find the mirror soon...
Still, can't be helped. I'm going to check out the palaces in the normal order, even if I won't be able to progress far into the Eastern Palace without a bow. Usually there's no need to talk to Sahasrahla - I'm tired of looking up the spelling of his name each time - but with the bombs, there's more to do in his little hut.
Still, can't be helped. I'm going to check out the palaces in the normal order, even if I won't be able to progress far into the Eastern Palace without a bow. Usually there's no need to talk to Sahasrahla - I'm tired of looking up the spelling of his name each time - but with the bombs, there's more to do in his little hut.
Nice! We now have five hearts going into our first proper dungeon.
Nice! We now have five hearts going into our first proper dungeon.
And working on a sixth!
And working on a sixth!
HELL YES. Of course, I only just found the hammer, which would've mitigated a lot of the issues not having a sword created. But still!
HELL YES. Of course, I only just found the hammer, which would've mitigated a lot of the issues not having a sword created. But still!

Side-Note: The Fighter's Sword is Link's first weapon, assigned to a special attack button (B) independent of the action button (Y) everything else uses, and his main offensive means throughout the first half of A Link to the Past. There are certain barricades in the game that require a sword, but for the most part it's a versatile weapon that works well against everything and can also be used to cut grass and bushes.

I, uh, didn't expect to find it quite so early. Like, it was going to be this fun running joke that I really could use a damn sword right about now, but I'm starting to think this randomizer seed has been blessed by Jim Davis or something.

Does... does this one even count? It feels a little too meta.
Does... does this one even count? It feels a little too meta.
I have everything I need for exploring right now. I'm sure I won't find the bow in here, but there is a dungeon item I'll get instead. Seems like I should stop by and get it.
I have everything I need for exploring right now. I'm sure I won't find the bow in here, but there is a dungeon item I'll get instead. Seems like I should stop by and get it.
Yeah, like it was going to be that easy. All the dungeon items - big key, map, compass, small keys - are randomized within their dungeons. I think there was an option to throw every small key in the game into the randomization pool too, which would be frickin' CHAOS. Maybe another time?
Yeah, like it was going to be that easy. All the dungeon items - big key, map, compass, small keys - are randomized within their dungeons. I think there was an option to throw every small key in the game into the randomization pool too, which would be frickin' CHAOS. Maybe another time?
Right, so this is one of the dark rooms I was talking about in Episode 1. You can't easily navigate these places without the lantern, though you do have a few tricks to rely on. The first is the map: if there's a doorway leading out the room, you could probably find it by hugging the wall it's on. Weapons like the mallet and the spin-blade technique appear in the dark for some reason, letting you know where you happen to be standing. It's not ideal, but it works for less complex dark rooms like this one.
Right, so this is one of the dark rooms I was talking about in Episode 1. You can't easily navigate these places without the lantern, though you do have a few tricks to rely on. The first is the map: if there's a doorway leading out the room, you could probably find it by hugging the wall it's on. Weapons like the mallet and the spin-blade technique appear in the dark for some reason, letting you know where you happen to be standing. It's not ideal, but it works for less complex dark rooms like this one.
That's... not what I was expecting to find in a dungeon.
That's... not what I was expecting to find in a dungeon.

Side-Note: The Butterfly Net is a notorious item in A Link to the Past (and Ocarina of Time) for its bizarre properties, one of which is reflecting Agahnim's laser beams back at him. It is for this reason that the butterfly net is a necessity for the Agahnim fights if you don't have a sword. You also need the net to capture fairies in bottles, which make for useful curative items in any Zelda game for their unique property of activating upon death. However, since we already have the sword for Agahnim and no bottles to store fairies, the butterfly net's uses are minimal right now.

Does it count if it's being used *on* Garfield rather than *by*?
Does it count if it's being used *on* Garfield rather than *by*?
Before leaving, I swept up this final chest outside the exit. Glad I did: it's the shield!
Before leaving, I swept up this final chest outside the exit. Glad I did: it's the shield!

Side-Note: The Fighter's Shield is Link's first shield, given to him along with the Fighter's Sword. It has a limited ability to deflect enemy attacks and projectiles, but it's still better than nothing. Like the sword, it has a dedicated equipment spot rather than being an item that Garflink has to use from the item menu. The shield's going to make survival a little easier, even if I can't quite recall where I'll ever absolutely need it. Importantly, it's a step towards the Mirror Shield, which will be more useful.

(Yeah, there's no Garfield strip where he guards himself from Odie with a kite shield. I know, I'm disappointed too.)

That's about all I can do here, but all the same I'm going to chalk it up as a successful incursion. I'll have to remember to come back when A) I can see in the dark, as there's another dark room further in, and B) I have a bow.
That's about all I can do here, but all the same I'm going to chalk it up as a successful incursion. I'll have to remember to come back when A) I can see in the dark, as there's another dark room further in, and B) I have a bow.
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A surprisingly busy episode for new items:

  • We have the sword and shield, rendering the whole "let's make this run interesting by taking them away" angle moot - however, if I remember the rules of the randomizer right, you earn their upgrades by finding successive swords and shields randomly around the world, so we were bound to pick up the Level-1 versions sooner or later.
  • The hammer's a great weapon that does more damage than the sword, which made it a better weapon for smacking the Armos enemies outside of the Eastern Palace, and I'll need it when I hit the first Dark World dungeon.
  • We picked up another four heart pieces, giving us a new heart container. Considering we might need to hop into tougher dungeons before defeating the easier bosses, every bit of extra health is going to be vital.
  • The boomerang and butterfly net are nice items to have, even if their utility is lost on me right now. I guess anything's better than more rupees.
  • I've no way of tracking them on this image, but we also received two bomb upgrades between this episode and the last - I missed screencapping the other one, which I found while wandering the Lost Woods to the north of Kakariko. More boomies is always good.

Next Time, on A Randomized Link to the Past: The Light World still has two more dungeons, even if I won't have the means to take on Agahnim until I find the Master Sword (which, I'm guessing, won't be the item I acquire at its pedestal even if I find all the Pendants of Virtue regardless). Let's go see what they got.

Episode I: Lasagna Kitten: The Fell Depth Oozed
Episode II: Pasta Fiend Tale: Hell-Zonked Ghetto <- You Are Here
Episode III: Lazed Feline Goal: Pet the Dank Thots!
Episode IV: Odie the Dog: Last Theft? Kennel Plaza!
Episode V: Egad!, PhD: Little Fez Hat on a Skeleton
Episode VI: To Fat Knight Zone: Help Delete Salad
Episode VII: Please, God, No: The Zealand Kilt Theft
Episode VIII: TalkFleet: An Elephant-Sized Hotdog
Episode IX: The Fattened Ilk: A Gonzo Death Spell
Episode X: Old Hazing Poll: Taste the Naked Feet
Episode Ys: Fleshpot Glitz: Needed a Tenth Koala
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