As I start to remember the games I've sold back for store credit or eBay monies, I'll start jotting them down in der blogenheimer. Of course, I can't remember everything I've sold back but again -- it'll be a growing list. Here's part one of who-the-hell knows.

Manhunt 2 (Wii) - I have to admit: Part of me wanted to buy Manhunt 2 because I was interested in seeing just how "terrible" it was that it had to be rated AO, banned, and subsequently neutered. Considering that -- according to what I heard at least -- the only things that were really censored were the killing blows, I figured I'd see if there was anything egregious about the rest of the content that was more offensive than the original Manhunt. As I mentioned in an editorial a while ago, I now believe that this AO rating was simply a reaction to the previous uproar over Rockstar's games -- unless they cut out a LOT of stuff that the public never got to hear about. Nevertheless, I looked online for a video that showed the un-censored version of the PSP port and... well, really, people, there was nothing worse about Manhunt 2's content when compared to the original Manhunt.

With that out of the way, then, what made me sell it back was the complete lack of compelling gameplay or design. It simply didn't feel intense or gritty. At times, it even felt silly. I found myself growing impatient with the game, running around willy-nilly and then just jumping into a shadow if some clown saw me. It just felt like the developers tried to force the dirty, screwed-up motif of the first game into this second one without taking the time to look back and say, "Does this work? Does this feel forced? Is it getting campy, even?" I'm highly enjoying the first Manhunt via STEAM, because the stealth gameplay somehow feels more refined. It's hard to really put a finger on it, but in the end, there really was just no reason for me to keep Manhunt 2. Well, maybe except for the motion-controlled kills, which were really fun. Then again, I look at the fact that the store credit I got back was put towards my purchase of Final Fantasy IV DS... yeah.

Animal Crossing: Wild World (NDS) - At the time I was pondering selling Animal Crossing: Wild World back (which -- by the way -- along with Manhunt 2 and the soon-to-be-mentioned Nintendogs went towards the FFIV DS fund), I thought: "I never play this game anymore. I don't ever feel the need to play it again." It was that simple. There was nothing wrong with AC:WW. It was actually quite fun for the time that I put into it. However, it was also quite aimless, and that's what ultimately made me put it down. I stopped caring about getting bells to pay off my mortgage and started caring more about getting a Not Guilty verdict for Maya Fey, or trying to come to grips with Metroid Prime: Hunters' awful level design (at some point that might be on the chopping block, too, now that I think about it), or trying to unlock ROB in Mario Kart DS (never happened, sadly), or conquering opposing armies in Age of Empires: Rise of Kings (a great DS miniaturizing of the PC version; I very much recommend it). It's ultimately why I ended up disliking The Sims, after which I built four walls around my Sim in a one-tile space and set it to Fast Forward (since then I've never been at all interested in any Sims games).

Nintendogs: Chihuahua and Friends (NDS) - When I turned on my copy of Nintendogs, I saw Homer, my boxer, walking around with his little bandana. No fleas, surprisingly, even though I hadn't spent time with him in literally over 2 years. I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that I was about to erase this file to sell the game back. Then I realized that were Homer real, and that if I had treated him in real life the way I treated him in this game, he'd pretty much be dead right now (remember: TWO YEARS). Then I realized, after looking at my sleeping cat, that HOMER IS NOT REAL. I then finally realized that if I gave a flying flubb about taking care of this fake dog by way of this admittedly fun non-game, then I would have done so. Turns out, I'd rather take care of a real pet and play games on my DS. Nintendogs was lots of fun for the time I put into it, but I just didn't care to put time into it anymore and frankly, with all of these great DS games I have in my backlog, I never will. Bye Homer! Hi Final Fantasy IV DS, and damn you for ruining my backlog hopes and dreams!

Diablo and Diablo II (Windows) - I think I got conned on this one. Some jerk told me my discs weren't working and so he sent them back to me. Anyway, I sold them to another eBayer, and I couldn't be happier for it. Diablo is one of those things that I start liking a LOT, getting into the lore like any well-behaved geek, reading about its backstory, trying to eke details out of every nook and cranny in the game. And then after a few weeks I realize how much my index finger hurts, then I realize how much I hate doing nothing but pulling the Final Fight tactic of walking around and isolating each critter (left click) or waiting by the door and then hacking (left click) them to pieces (left click), one (left click) by (left click) one (left click). Which begs the question: What is playing a videogame, at its rawest core, apart from using your thumbs and fingers to repeatedly press a series of buttons? Why should I be so upset at Diablo when something like, say, Planescape Torment (I love that game), is very similar but with just less rapid and less frequent clicking? Then it hit me: I never, ever, ever, ever used my brain once while playing Diablo. So I stopped playing it. Then Diablo II came out, and my roommates in college were all over it, and so I forgot that I eventually hated the first game and omg i have to go to teh store and buy teh gam omg zaweosmsez and.... after a few weeks my index finger hurt again, and my brain was atrophying, and I hated Diablo II too. So eventually I eBayed them.

Epilogue: With Diablo III on the horizon, I felt pangs of regret. "Maybe I was too harsh on this game. Maybe I should give it another shot." I go through these things, you know. I was seriously contemplating giving Final Fantasy VIII another shot before I remembered that every battle came down to incessant Drawing and 9923984-second-long summons. But Diablo III was coming out! I should give it another try! Should -- nay -- must! So while I was in my hotel room after coming back from work one night, I downloaded the Diablo single-player demo which happily worked on my Windows XP laptop. For the first 30 minutes, I told myself, "Boy, am I glad I gave this another shot!" After that, my index finger piped up again and questioned why, after seven years, I had to bring back all of its repressed memories. My brain also gave me a wistful, pained look, and at that point it hit me: "You hate this game. REMEMBER?" And oh yes, I remembered. I remembered all too well.

Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii) - I was so sorely disappointed by this buffoonery. I was presented with summarily horrendous voice acting upon putting the disc in, but that was ok -- it's Sonic. Of course it's going to stink up the acting job. The art, though, was enchanting. The in-game visuals, while not "next-gen", were smooth, fast and beautiful nonetheless. Even the initially awkward, tilty gameplay was easy to get used to, and I was having a blast just going through levels at top speed, collecting rings and bashing enemies with my airborne attack. Then the stupid missions came in. "Collect 50 rings!" "Complete this section without getting hit once!" "Collect 50 rings without getting hit once!" "Find five special gems!" If you put all four of these goals into Babelfish and translated them from Sonic to English, the result would be: "You go back play level you just play real fast and had funs with, only this times you do it again! Many times! Very slow! Very not like the Sonic that is good, but like the Sonic that is bad!" Yeah. I hate you, Sonic and the Secret Rings, and I hope you fester and rot in the Used Games bin that I subjected you to.

More as I think of 'em.