Not so long ago there were rumblings throughout those virtua-digi-presses of the gaming world. Taking the same amount of space as totally legitimate news, the words "GTA5 Leaked?" materialised in various flavours of Verdana, Arial and even Times New Roman. The all-important question mark at the end of that title. It's like a get-out clause of responsibility. You don't want an exclamation mark, nono. Don't stoke the fires of promise and excitement, chaps. Please, no. Don't.

Too late. Someone jabbed "Publish" and it's up there for everyone to see. What? A Rockstar employee filmed it on his 0.1 megapixel camera phone and passed it on to someone to pass onto the internets? Nono, he can control a recording device properly most of the time - it's just that he had too much (hot) coffee during a particularly difficult period of crunch. Yep, that's it. Screenshots too? Ohmy! Surely this is newsworthy? It isn't, of course. In terms of diverting traffic onto websites though, it's the magical elixir of hit counters. People love to see obviously faked-out videos and screenshots of forthcoming games, don't they? Don't they?

I wish I could get those 40 seconds back. I could have finished this blog 40 seconds earlier, but it probably would have more likely been a blog about the PSNocalypse silently raging worldwide. Nope, those 40 seconds were spent watching that aforementioend "leaked footage" of the game "in action". I was part of the traffic, part of the rubber-necking ghouls who even though they knew it was totally fake, they still watched. What angers me is the sheer laziness of not only the creators of these "leaks", but the news sites willing to fill their quota with this well-trod nonsense.

Things don't really leak much from the well-oiled, grizzled development machine which is Rockstar Games - they've been around long enough to know how to keep their shit locked tight. There is a rampaging fanbase out there though. In the old days, leaks were actually leaks. You saw it and knew that no one really had proper access to any shady versions of professional art packages - and if they did, they sure as hell wouldn't be using them for fabricating their own bullshots. Now everyone knows how to use Photoshop. Even my cat can come up with a knowingly meta LOLcat of his own photo, which he skillfully took with a self-timer. Clever moggy.

Don't get me started on all those "leaked" console designs too. I'm sure as I type this, Xbox 360 fanatics with a terrifying knowledge of 3DS Max are crafting their own versions of what the *shudder* Xbox 720 (Please don't call it that, Microsoft) will look like in their heads. They'll pop them online, submit these screenshots as "news" and wait for the fevered increase in speculation and page views. Videogame news sites should know better. You really think that Rockstar would let anything escape that portal of creativity? You think that maybe it's insulting to those hard-working developers that they would get so lax with their NDAs? My imagination contained all the speculation I need for GTA5, now tarnished by a fanboy's pixelated wet dream. A LOLcat in motion - Impact typeface and all; "THE LOCATION WILL BE... ...HONOLULU". A gurning ginger moggy could have been a truly fitting finale.

This is a passionate plea from my heart to those videogame news sties. Don't give these people the oxygen of publicity - publish more amateur hour sketches of Wii 2 and expect more to come your way. Be smart and judgemental. If you see lame-ass leaked fakery that you could easily beat, it's probably best off not posting it as news. Although here's the rub - if the "leak" merits exposure for being totally, totally insane and obviously the brainchild of a MIyamato-in-the-making - by all means, draw our attention to it. Like so -