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how about that?

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Best Dracula

I'm in the mood for some dracula's and let's see 'em on the screen, baby!

*Price is Right intro*

Now there are a lot of fine Draculas out there but we are looking for number 1 with a wooden bullet.

*audience groans then applauds after I nod in agreement with them on the pun*

We're looking for everything a good Drac has: style, grace & charm, ability to enter homes only on invitation.

  • Style - Every good dracula has a look, and it looks EXACTLY LIKE HOW DRACULA LOOKS IN YOUR HEAD. No variation, no Nosferatu nonsense. Classic classic Dracs only please.
  • Grace & Charm - The best Dracs are suave, no question about it. They somehow always get the ladies and upset every dude in town. Then, sometimes they get the dudes too! Get it Drac. Draculas are known to be emotional creatures, based on how many letters they write. Who else has time to write that many letters, what is this, the Civil War? Whatever, masculinity is a curse and good Dracs are vulnerable and still rule.
  • Ability to Enter homes only on invitation - Standard Dracula stuff here. Classic Drac. As everyone knows, they can only enter the house when invited, that's it. We gotta see it otherwise, how do we even know what we're dealing with.

List items

  • One of the best known Dracs in gaming. Most quotable for sure. I think the issue Castlevania presents with Dracula is consistency. N64 Dracula? That's rough business my friend and generally a poor one. Now, Dracula gets better but, then Lords of Shadow 2? Come on.

    Style: Varies - by a LOT

    Grace & Charm: "have at you?" Come on, nothing graceful there

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: as far as I can tell, everyone has only entered HIS home. I've never seen this dude leave.

    Rating: Mixed bag of Dracs

  • What a freakin' Dracula. A full Drac unit right here. Capable of getting after it for sure.

    What Demitri brings to the table is a lot, but mostly a very very very tight jacket.

    Style: in Spades my fine people. In SPADES

    Grace & Charm: Midnight Bliss is gonna lose it here a bit. I know this Drac is capable of getting his charm on but, it can just be a hair creepy instead of suave.

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: I've never seen anyone invite him to their stage but he is somehow able to cross the port no problem? Absolute Drac no no.

    Rating: As tight as that Jacket.

  • Again, we have another very good looking Dracula here. Low Milage, trunk big enough for your bike, a nice 5.1 surround stereo. We got it all. Vamp sticks out as a good Drac because of how often he sticks out his tongue to lick stuff and you're like "don't lick that" and he does in a creepy way that works for you.

    Style: A good modern drac with all the modern sensibilities. All-wheel drive, plenty of belts, leather trim.

    Grace & Charm: While I'm not the biggest fan of his underhanded tactics, the man can walk on water and wields a knife. If that isn't the literal definition of grace, then I've never been to a church in my life.

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: Now, Big Shell is a government facility that Vamp shows up to uninvited HOWEVER, since he is there to kidnap the president, BUT THE PRESIDENT IS THE BAD GUY! HE WAS INVITED THERE BOOM! We got one!

    Rating: a good dracula

  • Count Dracula Duck is a very decent Duck and an "okay" dracula. Very much an NES Castlevania clone, Count Dracula Duck has a classic style, spooky stage, and turns in to a bat. Not much here actually but, he is A dracula, so let's rate 'em.

    Style: A good classic dracula look. The biggest problem, and I think where it fails, is that it is also a duck.

    Grace & Charm: I like the bat form and the duck has a lot of treasures. Scientifically, ducks are not graceful or charming. They usually poop everywhere. I will say they are better than geese but only barely.

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: Now, I've never been exposed to a duck home invasion, and the only time I have seen a duck indoors is because someone wanted it to be there. Here, Count Dracula Duck gets a pass.

    Rating: a duck. disqualified.

  • What a disgrace. What an idiot of a dracula. Goes to egypt to get a SAXOPHONE!? come on. Are we even trying?

    Style: look at this freakin' guy. Looks like the lead singer for AFI or some garbage.

    Grace & Charm: I hate this duck.

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: see above

    Rating: disqualified because I HATE HIM

    No, he's not that bad. I just think he's a little off. I like the lore explanation of him being a vegetarian. He'd rather eat carrots than blood.

    New Rating: Fine, he's okay, geez, sorry. Get off my case man.

  • I don't have time for this game so someone will need to tell me if you play a pretty good dracula or not. My understanding is everything is a morale choice, so, I hope there is a moral choice that is "it doesn't matter, you were not invited in to this house."

    Rating: it's a game about choice so, you can rate this one and we can compare our playthroughs. I got "A very bad dracula" but maybe you got the good dracula ending.

  • Probably our least dressed dracula if you discount the ducks, and you should because they are animals, Rayne does have plenty of positives to being a good drac. I like the part where she is anti-fa. Big bonus points on the nazi hunting.

    Style: hunts nazis. That's pretty stylish. She does lack the classic dracula look.

    Grace & Charm: Hrmm... well... I mean... she hunts Nazis so, that's pretty graceful in today's climate. We got Gritty real big through that so, I think it is Rayne's time to shine there. Suave though. I mean, she's got it. Ya know?

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: Geez, we keep losing some good draculas to this requirement. I get she is technically a half dracula but, rules are rules. The "homes" in this scenario are military bases belonging to nazis so, not totally disqualified, but close.

    Rating: Probably not the worst dracula.

  • Oh no, I found this can of worms here. I'm... I'm just not gonna open it.

    Rating: A can of worms.

  • Wow, I mean, wow. I never would have went with a kids game to deliver on "best drac" but, I think we found it.

    Style: Absolute classic drac in design, speech, family obligations, coffin life, the WORKS. Has a very nice jacket.

    Grace & Charm: I mean, the drac literally built a hotel for monsters to keep his daughter safe from harm after the death of his wife, that's some grace right there. Throws terrible parties.

    Ability to Enter homes only on invitation: Well, here we are. I don't remember if we ever see drac enter a house, per se, but he definitly gets on a plane without a ticket, and uses mind control on the pilot. Eh, I'mma let it slide.

    Rating: a classic drac reimagined for the modern age. This is our best drac.