I'm in the mood for some dracula's and let's see 'em on the screen, baby!
*Price is Right intro*
Now there are a lot of fine Draculas out there but we are looking for number 1 with a wooden bullet.
*audience groans then applauds after I nod in agreement with them on the pun*
We're looking for everything a good Drac has: style, grace & charm, ability to enter homes only on invitation.
- Style - Every good dracula has a look, and it looks EXACTLY LIKE HOW DRACULA LOOKS IN YOUR HEAD. No variation, no Nosferatu nonsense. Classic classic Dracs only please.
- Grace & Charm - The best Dracs are suave, no question about it. They somehow always get the ladies and upset every dude in town. Then, sometimes they get the dudes too! Get it Drac. Draculas are known to be emotional creatures, based on how many letters they write. Who else has time to write that many letters, what is this, the Civil War? Whatever, masculinity is a curse and good Dracs are vulnerable and still rule.
- Ability to Enter homes only on invitation - Standard Dracula stuff here. Classic Drac. As everyone knows, they can only enter the house when invited, that's it. We gotta see it otherwise, how do we even know what we're dealing with.