Frog. When I was five I was walking by my grandparents' pond when a huge frog jumped out of nowhere right onto my face. Scared the crap out of me.
Now, when I was that age, when something scared me, I liked to. . . .teach it a lesson. So I took the frog, ripped off its arms and legs, pulled out its eyes, and threw the lump that was the remainder of its body into the water like a rock.
If McCain ran with a french fry campaign, he would already be president. The obese people would crawl to their Lil' Rascals and zoom to the polls to elect their hero.
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