Something went wrong. Try again later

Giant Bomb News

178 Comments

Gerstmann Takes On... Video Game Wrestling Madness

Let's talk about eSports Entertainment, the further misadventures of SimCity, and occasional outbursts of excitement.

With Alex spending the last week out on vacation, he's asked me to generate a hot column to fill in for his weekly address. I agreed, but I lack the purity of thought that I can only imagine comes from working remotely. No phones to ignore, no emails to avoid returning, no room full of coughing co-workers to worry about. So I don't know that I have any one topic for you this week. I'll... probably meander a bit.

...

I hate machinima. A lot of that probably has to do with the term itself, which manages to make the concept of "recording dumb shit that somehow involves video games" sound like the most pompous thing in the world. It probably doesn't help that most of the early examples of the form were absolutely awful. Do I really want to watch a billion different "funny" "comedy" "skits" recorded in first-person shooters? Hell, I didn't even really want to watch all those Team Fortress 2 videos that Valve made. But over the last couple of weeks I've gotten into Video Game Championship Wrestling, a regular, episodic set of WWE '13 livestreams that combine the chaos of poorly-programmed AI routines with the madness of a set of awkward story creation tools. It also lumps in a bunch of wrestling and video game nonsense, which more or less sums up my upbringing.

eSports Entertainment at its finest.
eSports Entertainment at its finest.

Characters include Little Mac from Punch-Out!! and Nappa from Dragon Ball Z. Woody from Toy Story has been on a tear recently, eventually growing a set of Devil Kazuya wings and threatening to make the other figures "play with their toys." Donkey Kong was the champion until recently, when the belt was stripped from him after it was revealed that he's been using a glitched finishing move that gave him an unfair advantage.

The VGCW somehow manages to be more "real" than real professional wrestling, because the man behind all this madness just writes the stories and makes the matches. Once the action in the ring begins, everything unfolds as a series of dice rolls as AI-controlled characters face off against one-another. The obvious, wrestling-like storylines and twists get tossed out the window when, for example, Ganondorf can't beat Bowser in a rematch that, if you applied wrestling logic and plot theory to it, should have gone the other way. So there's a certain thrill in watching Bazza, the mastermind behind this whole thing, dig himself out of holes that the AI tosses him into time and time again. His writing keeps things light enough to make it interesting regardless of the outcome, and seeing Adam Jensen roll into the ring on his Augmented Bike is, well, pretty funny.

There's a good, small community surrounding the VGCW, running a wiki devoted to the virtual promotion's happenings and filling Baz's Twitch chat room every time he starts up a show, performing the textual equivalent of wrestling chants and other feel-good nonsense. It's a hefty investment, as the shows can last three hours or more, but if you're a specific kind of nutcase, it's amazing. I don't really watch any TV anymore, but I'm willing to watch THQ's astoundingly busted game play itself for hours at a time... that might be weird to some, but it all just strikes me as another example of people entertaining each other. In a world filled with people just streaming themselves playing League of Legends over and over again, it's great to see something more creative and weird providing a sound alternative to all that eSports stuff. It's also the only thing that makes me excited to see what Yuke's does with the next WWE game, since if Yuke's can be counted on for anything, it's creating a broken wrestling game.

If I were writing it I would put the handful of "real people" in the promotion into a heel stable and find a way for the video game characters to drive them out for good. But I'm not!

...

SimCity! Still broken? Well... it's less broken than it was last week, but now we're on the section of the rage wheel where people stop complaining about messed-up servers and start complaining about the nature of the game itself. I tend to agree with most of the people who are complaining about the small city sizes and the over-reliance on neighboring cities, since both of those things make this a SimCity game that I'd rather not play.

Drawing outside the lines.
Drawing outside the lines.

For EA's part, it's still in the middle of an internet rage storm as enterprising modders keep finding ways to disconnect SimCity from its various limitations and disprove a handful of EA's official statements about the nature of the game. Is it offloading complex calculations to the remote servers? Nah, probably not. Does it have extreme issues with how it handles its population as individual Sims move from one part of the city to the other? Yeah, it sounds like it does.

When the internet mobs up and gets angry, it often overreaches and gets into some weird kind of rage land that no sane human would support. But when I look at all the stuff people have been uncovering about SimCity and set that against EA's statements about the game and its slightly condescending tone when attempting to address its detractors... at some point EA is just bringing more of this on itself. The tone of its responses ("I hate to disturb you when you’re playing SimCity") aren't helping them spin this into a positive thing.

Hopefully the people inside EA are taking all of this seriously and not just looking at numbers of cities created or sales figures while attempting to spin this all off internally as yet another example of "the internet's anti-EA bias." I'm sure it'd be pretty easy to lump this in with the Mass Effect 3 outcry and say "well, everyone's just trying to throw rocks at the throne" or something. There are clearly some lessons to be learned here... if EA is actually paying attention, that is.

...

I recently saw a probably-soon-to-be-announced game that I liked quite a bit.

Thumbs up, soldiers.
Thumbs up, soldiers.

Normally I try to stay away from weird, non-specific statements like that. They're annoying and they make it look like I'm lording my position--where this is a fairly common occurrence--over everyone else. So unlike some other people in my line of work, I attempt to keep that to myself until I have something of substance to say. I get the appeal, though. I've done it before. I'll probably do it again. But that's not because I'm trying to tease some future coverage on the site. I'm not trying to make myself seem self-important (though I understand when people call me out for that very reason when this happens). Sometimes I get pretty excited about this stuff, I guess.

Seeing new games is probably the coolest part about this job, especially when coupled with the ability to talk to the people working on the game and hear about why they're choosing this direction. It's easy to get a little jaded by the game business' constant emphasis on business. But I still get a chill down my spine when I see something new for the first time. If I no longer felt that, I'd probably start thinking about getting out of this line of work. And if you're in this line of work and you don't feel that... why are you doing this for a living?

...

If you've got questions for me, ask away over on Tumblr. I've been running a blog over there for a bit after abandoning Formspring (which, incidentally, is shutting down soon). I definitely don't get to everything, but since it's got a decent mobile app it's something I can whittle away at when I'm stuck in Ryan's car heading to and from the office. Oh, and be sure to say hi if you see us at PAX! Come to the panel on Friday night, Boston!

Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

178 Comments

Avatar image for krabboss
krabboss

350

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

@scotto said:

Frankly, I don't know why people are so up in arms and conspiratorial about the always-online nature of SimCity. I understood it during the massive server problems, when people were frustrated and just wanted to play (because if you're going to require connection to a server, you better make damn sure those servers are up to the task on day one) - but now?

As the Maxis lady said in her blog (with the condescendingly bad opening Jeff quoted) - the always-on isn't central to the game actually functioning, but it IS central to their vision for how the game is supposed to work. You can not like and not support their vision, but it's THEIR decision to make. The people rooting out smoking guns about how the game doesn't "need" to be online to work, are fundamentally missing the point.

She even admits that they could conceivably put out an offline mode for the game, but they won't, because it's not their vision for the game. If you don't like that, then don't support it. They didn't hide the always-on nature of the game prior to release, when you plunked down your $60.

People should be focusing on the real GAMEPLAY issues the game currently has - braindead traffic pathing, the broken RCI model (it's possible to create cities with 300k+ people, with ONLY residental zones in an empty region), the police cars and ambulances that all swarm to the same emergency one at a time, and so on. And, sure, calling for the option to create bigger cities, for those of us with the hardware to handle it.

Instead, the internet cabal just spends all their kinetic energy making loud noises about the damn online requirement - the one thing they already knew about before the game came out, and the one thing that is more or less unobtrusive now that the servers are mostly working.

Because it's publishers shitting on consumers in an attempt to combat piracy. The game is worse than it would have been without the always online DRM. And if you sit back and say "Oh, it's just their vision!" then publishers will continue to try and find new ways to shit on consumers and limit their games. If people tell EA, Activision or Ubisoft that this stuff is shit then maybe they'll cut it out, but it's pretty unlikely at this point with how many people are keen to eat it up.

Avatar image for gildermershina
Gildermershina

411

Forum Posts

361

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

@krabboss said:

Because it's publishers shitting on consumers in an attempt to combat piracy. The game is worse than it would have been without the always online DRM. And if you sit back and say "Oh, it's just their vision!" then publishers will continue to try and find new ways to shit on consumers and limit their games. If people tell EA, Activision or Ubisoft that this stuff is shit then maybe they'll cut it out, but it's pretty unlikely at this point with how many people are keen to eat it up.

If it wasn't always online, it would still have DRM, it would still install via Origin. The DRM is irrelevant. That's not why this is always online. As much as business is the reason for it, it's not DRM, but game-as-service stuff like selling DLC and otherwise controlling the user experience. And yeah, it's a valid design choice if you do it right.

Out of the maybe 5 hours I've spent actually playing SimCity, I find myself half-liking it and half-disliking it. It is in fact seriously broken. Some of that I expect will probably get fixed over the next 6 months. Other parts are part of the game's design.

I keep building cities that fill the whole map, with populations stagnating around 5,000, because everyone has chosen to live in houses and not apartments. And I still don't understand how the game decides one over the other, because I have low-density housing next to high-capacity roads. And then I plop down 8 parks, and half of my buildings jump to maximum desirability, and the other half don't. And the traffic problems, what the fuck? And sometimes roads don't connect right. And yeah, the cities are too fucking small. Is the low-level simulation perceptibly any better to justify this limitation? No it isn't.

They should have named this game SimCity Online. If they want to make a SimCity game that uses a non-broken version of this engine and complies to the established model of SimCity, then that's a game that could unashamedly be called SimCity, but it's too late for that now.

I knew this game was going to be multiplayer-focussed, but I didn't realise it would be mandatory. I didn't realise the cities would be so limited in scale. I also didn't realise that creating a single fully-functional city would not even be possible. EA didn't make those things clear, so I bought into a game I am now only interested in playing in an attempt to get my money's worth. Not even enjoying it. My only hope now is that this investment will pay off in the long term should they fix a few more of these issues. Otherwise I wasted my fucking money like a sap.

Avatar image for torrim
Torrim

409

Forum Posts

986

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 8

I can completely believe they had good intentions of capitalizing on this new-wave always-online connectivity frenzy. I just thnk the actual process of trying to capitalize on that has been what's crashed and burned. The city size constraints, the griefing, and the server problems has seemingly led to them getting caught with their pants down.

When I think of city interaction, I think of the ambitious regions of Sim City 4. What I see with the latest Sim City is a reduction of a feature set to literally force someone to play a certain way. I don't think that's draconion DRM, I just think that's bad design.

Though I would argue that the whole social connectivity success is attributed to the dirty tricks that were used by these free to play games in the first place, but that's a whole 'nother can over worms.

Avatar image for bourbon_warrior
Bourbon_Warrior

4569

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By Bourbon_Warrior

@bourbon_warrior said:

@ilovevideogames said:
Loading Video...
Loading Video...

"VGCW" straight up copied this guy , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv36psYbP8w.

He streams on Twitch because it seems to be more popular than Livestream (obviously).

Take it or leave it, this guy invented this and deserves all credit. "VGCW" is just awful compared to the original show.

Doesn't matter that VGCW guy made a better product, has better storylines and filled in the gap when this guy stopped doing it.

"made a better product and better storyline"

sure, explain.

It's entertaining with some great dialogue, the other guy stopped making the other videos then VGCW filled in the gap, I don't see the problem, if the other guy was still making his I would see your point. Would be cool like WCW\WWE beef =)

Avatar image for bourbon_warrior
Bourbon_Warrior

4569

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

@sooty said:

@bourbon_warrior said:

The multiplayer isn't necessary at all, a bigger map would fix that. But I get why Sim CIty is online only, it is to prevent piracy, The Sims series is the most pirated series of games out there, any time you go on Pirate Bay in the game section it is always near the top of the list and its a 4 year old game now. If it was a smooth launch I would of had nothing against it, but it wasn't so it's hard to be positive about this game.

It doesn't prevent piracy though, all they've done is cause a lot of refunds and soured people on the game. The servers aren't even the biggest problem, the actual game is extremely busted in a variety of ways. I think people would have been more forgiving of the second part if the servers hadn't already pissed people off, later finding the game is beta material really doesn't help. I have no idea how the game is in this state, the numerous bugs aren't even hard to find, basic systems don't work.

and I'm sure a few days ago people modded the game to work offline, you have to connect afterwards to sync your saves but it won't be long before it's made 100% offline by modders, so it's going to prove useless against piracy soon. We've already found out the game doesn't need online to run the simulation like EA and Maxis tried to claim. It's just a question of how long until people get the game to save locally to eliminate the need for server syncing.

Personally I'm gonna revisit the game in the summer or something, for now I'm getting my money back. Not paying for a beta.

EA are fucking assholes for not offering refunds directly, frankly, their game didn't work for almost a week and people slowly started finding out how broken it is. Fuck those guys.

But it 100% has, look on any pirating site and you want find a Sim City 5 download. Not saying it will last, they might crack it eventually.

Avatar image for joshthebear
joshthebear

2704

Forum Posts

726

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

@ilovevideogames: Dude, go away. Every one of your posts have been the exact same thing, and at this rate I'd guess that is all you're ever going to post about.

Avatar image for curtman2k20
CurtMan2k7

171

Forum Posts

22

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 7

User Lists: 0

Edited By CurtMan2k7

Great article, i think you guys should all right columns, discussing what you're doing outside of reviewing games. This article made me feel like i can feel where you're coming from. Peace Jeff

Avatar image for katkillad
Katkillad

165

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Collusion!

Avatar image for baal_sagoth
Baal_Sagoth

1644

Forum Posts

80

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 10

Excellent article. Some very interesting thoughts that made the multi-topic thing work well. I'll absolutely have to check that Wrestlimng show out. The examples discussed here sound just fucking incredible. I'm looking forward to giving that a shot.

Avatar image for samstrife
SamStrife

1332

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

@crushed said:

YO GANONDORF LET BOWSER WIN THAT REMATCH

Look at how he refused to pin Bowser in the last few minutes. Ganondorf is an honorable king. He will always have his legacy. Thousand Years of Darkness. Longest streak of title defenses. First double champion. First three-time champion. Defeated Baz and Little Mac at the height of their corporate power. He escaped Gaben's Wallet Squeeze and used it against him. His curse felled over a half-dozen wrestlers in their prime. He even humiliated Bowser in a past Inferno match.

What did Bowser have? That one time Arino nearly beat him? Those two interns that VGCW corporate pays to dress up as "hoes" during his entrance? No, it was the time he easily beat Ganondorf at the height of Ganondorf's reign, and that night it had been exposed that it was all due to cheating. It was all Bowser had, man.

Ganondorf graciously let him win. He's still a Tag Team Champion, and soon he'll be GM of the company. Bowser can have his narrow exhibition victory, then go back to hiding for the next five or ten promotions as usual.

You sir have won all my internet points I have to give. Ganadorf will be the first VGCW Hall Of Fame Inductee and deservedly so. In the short time VGCW has been running Ganondorf has proved time and times again why he is the greatest in the business. He's willing to put others over knowing he doesn't need that extra rub, which is the mark of a great wrestler.

Avatar image for jnsk
JNSK

226

Forum Posts

48

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

I do really enjoy Jeff's writing, and wish he would do more of it outside of reviews, but I understand that he's god enough on his plate with all the video stuff, reviews and going to meeting and you know, running a business.

Avatar image for corvak
Corvak

2048

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

I usually shrug off the thousand-viewer streams on twitch. Chats are usually incredibly spammy and ignored by the streamers themselves. I generally prefer a stream with less than 200 viewers, as it leads for a better experience overall.

However, VGCW is the exception to this rule. I love the spammy idiots in its chat - every single line of text in full caps - it's like an arena full of rowdy wrestling fans, shouting their memes and in-jokes - and it adds to the experience. Bazza has injected a healthy dose of originality into the streaming community - and he does it by ripping off long loved video game characters, and now VGCW is one of the highlights of my week.

Avatar image for satelliteoflove
SatelliteOfLove

1379

Forum Posts

2315

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 8

Edited By SatelliteOfLove

@jeff : The thing I've learned about machinima is it obeys Sturgeon's Law x10. For every Mage in a Blue Dress, there's 99 shitty WoW machinima videos for example. Same for webcomics.

Avatar image for reckless_x
reckless_x

477

Forum Posts

10325

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 8

User Lists: 13

I think I'm going to have to look into watching more VGCW...

Avatar image for nasar7
Nasar7

3236

Forum Posts

647

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By Nasar7

Thank you for introducing me to VGCW. Ganondorf vs Waluigi made my day yesterday.

Avatar image for brashnir
Brashnir

88

Forum Posts

254

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 1

In your description of Machinima as "recording dumb shit that somehow involves video games," you've also managed to pretty much define Giant Bomb.

Avatar image for even
Even

118

Forum Posts

23

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By Even
@brashnir said:

In your description of Machinima as "recording dumb shit that somehow involves video games," you've also managed to pretty much define Giant Bomb.

I think Jeff is only against "dumb shit that somehow involves video games" when it has a pretentious name attached to it.

Though Jeff does make odd comments like this occasionally... comments like he's just an outside observer peering into some bizarre circus, when he is clearly the ringleader.

Avatar image for peanut
Peanut

965

Forum Posts

94

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

My friends and I fell into this VGCW vortex last Friday and it's been god damn insane. The show from February 28th was absolutely fucking nuts. We were losing it at Barkley trying to pull off the hat-trick and the back-to-back title defenses in what were the most entertaining wrestling matches (real or simulated) I've watched in a decade.

Also, Ghost Nappa and his god damn theme song almost made me shit myself with laughter.

Avatar image for danthegamer32
DanTheGamer32

266

Forum Posts

171

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 0

@russcat: I hear ya man! Hopefully they can start redeeming themselves in the next gen with Dragon Age 3...

Avatar image for gamer_152
gamer_152

15034

Forum Posts

74588

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 71

User Lists: 6

gamer_152  Moderator

Good stuff. I'm certainly interested in VGCW now.

Avatar image for scribbly
Scribbly

424

Forum Posts

115

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 7

I would love to see Jeff make an appearance in the VGCW now, there has to be a model for him floating around somewhere... If Game Grumps can be in it, then someone needs to represent Giant Bomb! :P

Avatar image for subjugation
Subjugation

4993

Forum Posts

963

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

So, any internet sleuths out there have any idea what mystery game he might be referring to?

Avatar image for mysteriousbob
MysteriousBob

6262

Forum Posts

2231

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 5

@brashnir said:

In your description of Machinima as "recording dumb shit that somehow involves video games," you've also managed to pretty much define Giant Bomb.

Quick looks are both funny and informative. Recanting fanfiction or some lame attempt at comedy with Garry's Mod is just dumb shit.

Avatar image for grondoth
Grondoth

572

Forum Posts

1

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT JEFF. WHERE ARE YOU.

Avatar image for andrewf87462
andrewf87462

1035

Forum Posts

45

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By andrewf87462

Excellent article. I know Alex usually writes these but this is the first one i've actually read. Although i'll definitely be checking these out in the future.

Avatar image for nzt
NZt

10

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Decided to check out with VGCW thing and was not disappointed, in fact I haven't laughed so hard in a long time seeing the detail put into characters (Dan's super taunt for eg.) and the use of video game battle musics occasionally synching incredibly well. What's so great about it is that it's not just fan fiction like most machinima, as its mostly AI driven you just don't know what will happen.

Watching Tingle do a "sexy dance" after K.O'ing Phoenix Wright on "table-san", left me in tears.

I also noticed the chat refers the referee as REF GERSTMANN.

Avatar image for carltonbanks
CarltonBanks

38

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By CarltonBanks

I went to peruse the archives of the live stream on Youtube, and the first thing I watched was Waluigi's entrance and the entire chat spamming "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH". I had trouble breathing I was laughing so hard.

Needless to say, I've been hooked ever since. This coming from someone who's never cared to watch a second of wrestling in his life.