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Mega Man 9 Hates Me

But that's OK, because it's only fueling me to hate Mega Man 9 right back.

Want good proof that your gaming skills have gone completely soft in this era of regenerating health and constant checkpoints? Look no further than Capcom's latest digital release, Mega Man 9. It's out now on the Wii and PS3, and Xbox 360 owners will be getting a chance to throw their controllers out a window next Wednesday.

I finished Mega Man, Mega Man 2, and Mega Man 3 before sort of losing interest in the original series, mostly because I always felt that Rush was a weak addition. Upon hearing that a lot of the charged-shot and sliding techniques of the later games were being removed in favor of a more pure experience, I was excited about Mega Man 9.

But after playing it for 45 minutes last night, I'm pretty sure I never want to play it ever again. Because I can't handle it. And I'm not afraid to admit that. Sometimes you have to know when to walk away.

Here's video proof of my inability to handle it. The video has cursing in it. So watch out for that.

  


If you're looking for some sort of assistance for Mega Man 9, Giant Bomb Friendly User of the Moment, sloppyjoe, put together this basic guide.
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

170 Comments

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jackelbeaver

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Edited By jackelbeaver

Also seriously concreteman's stage is one of the hardest ones, you basically need magma man's weapon to beat his elephants, and its recommended to bring something like gravity man into splash woman's stage. you can also buy items to guard against things like spikes for a few hits as well.

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jackelbeaver

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Edited By jackelbeaver

megaman games are fine if you go into them expecting to die until you find a level you can beat. if a stage kicks your ass twice move on to the next one. don't feel ashamed.

you're supposed to find the couple of stages that aren't too difficult and the boss master thats a little predictable so you can start getting weapons and item parts. That's what Megaman 2 did so well and why it's so memorable. It guided the player naturally through the boss stages without the player realising it. The other games you have to make a concious decision to figure it out, it doesnt happen naturally like in 2.

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falling_fast

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Edited By falling_fast

I recognize that voice from the nintendownload xpress

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OldManLollipop

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Edited By OldManLollipop
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Cubical

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Edited By Cubical

Jeff has been playing noob games like gears of war/halo 3 to long I finished mega man 9 was not that bad.

And when I finshed it, It was slight harder than mega man 1. Hell


IF he is playing the xbox 360 or ps3 version that could be half is problem the controlers suck I cant finsh those.  the wii remote or classic controler is the only way to do it. or get a nes/snes controler adpater


and I stil laugh when people say the Xbox ninja gaidens are hard, noobs don't know what hard is until they do something like mega man 9..

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Zuul

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Edited By Zuul

It took me 4.5 hours the first playthrough. The second only took 45 mins...

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LordelX

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Edited By LordelX

Calm down Jeff. Try a different stage. Hornetman is not a good place to start. It's all about Galaxy Man at the beginning. But yeah...those scissors are a bitch.

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retrorex

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Edited By retrorex

This is a game that separates the old school hardcore from the checkpoint/respawn/save on the spot era. This is not for everyone.... People who played the original games migh appreciate this more, sometimes the frustration makes it addicting (sadomasochism?). But anyways, thinking about it, back in the day people, eve thou the games were very hard, they were determined to finish it. Why? Maybe because Mega Man 2 years ago was priced maybe more than $50 at retail, so you had no other choice that play that game and finish it before your parents could afford another game. NOw people play it, and skip it, "oh, well only 800pts", still 800 points are very worth it. But the thing is, when some gamers have all this games available, easy to access they just skip it and go to the next one, when years ago (unless you were rich) maybe you could get new games on your birthday, christmas, or some special occasion were you earned it. So getting MegaMan 1, 2, or under your xmas tree was a tree, and you needed to suck on it, cause that was it, so people were determined to finish it no matter what... because thats what the train brought to you. I downloaded the game before going to work, and I think its cool, because I re-started playing Mega Man2 two months ago, and haven't finished (mainly becuase my NES restarts randomly on the Willy's headquarters, yeah no emulators, just the real deal nes controller, game which has a loose pice inside and system). Now playing this game, they followed every rule of the NES limitations (not all of them actually) but yeah this game is a treat, gonna play it after work. NIce video Jeff, you looked like my aggressive cousin bakc in the late 80's were he would attack his mother because he was killed in Space Harrier. Good o'l days.

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Cyops

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Edited By Cyops

I know it's not nearly the same, but boot up Mega Man 8 and go to the first part of Dr. Wiley's Castle with the freaking rocketboard. That will get you warmed up for Mega Man 9 from what I'm seeing. And while you're playing it, just think, Mega Man 9 is more than 8 levels of this kind of hell. Then go stand in a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say "REALLY?, do you REALLY want to do this?" 

My vote is to get the screen captures, buy soundtrack, and screw the playing the game. 

Screen captures= Free
Soundtrack= $10
Not giving yourself an anurism= Priceless!
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Linkyshinks

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Edited By Linkyshinks

4999 Screws Exploit might help ya Jeff.

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NL_Buddha

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Edited By NL_Buddha

Don't I know this feeling so well!!!!!!!!!! F**king elephants !!!!!!! God I hate those damn elephants!!!!!!!!!!

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guttershark

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Edited By guttershark

lol...classic

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Player1

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Edited By Player1

This is exactly why I won't touch this game with a 10 foot pole. 

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GordonFreeman1500

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yeah this game will make ya mad, but i still love it

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FMLA

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Edited By FMLA

Just thank God the 8-bit music is catchy...especially the gameover screen music, cause thats when your pissed off the most!

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AgileNate

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Edited By AgileNate

LOL what makes it funny to play games like that, that get you mad is hearing the same song over and over form the start.. When watching it gets wicked funny.

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Bewildered_Ronin

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Edited By Bewildered_Ronin

Hey, at least you're willing to admit it! I've seen a lot of people whining, "this is too hard! they need to patch it and make it easier!" No, they don't. YOU, the player, need to man up and try harder. I don't know where or when this idea that everyone should be able to beat a game came from. Also, I used to remember games having the following settings: Very Easy, Easy, Normal, Hard. Nowadays what you have are the following: Easy, Normal, Hard, Very Hard. In other words, what used to be considered "Easy" is now considered "Normal", and it shows. There's no shame in admitting that such-and-such setting or so-and-so game is too hard for you. Not everyone should or can beat every game on all settings, and they shouldn't be able to.

Anyways, if people think Mega Man 9 is hard, I suggest you go back and play the original arcade version of Ghosts 'N' Goblins. Or you can play Super Ghosts 'N' Goblins, which is a bit easier than the arcade version, but still blisteringly difficult.

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WholeFunShow

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Edited By WholeFunShow

Just do a barrel roll.

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yukoasho

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Edited By yukoasho

It's not you not being able to handle it.  The game just harkens back to the time when games makers were fumbling to figure out what worked.  If you were like me, beating Megaman 1-3 was an excercise in the purest of frustration, and we probably only endured it because, in those days, we didn't see a lot of games.  Nostalgia messes with you that way, but the reality is that the good ol' days just weren't that good.

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Lukeweizer

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Edited By Lukeweizer

Good to know Jeff is actually human.  

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skudfisher

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Edited By skudfisher

I didn't know Eraserhead played Mega Man...

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link

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Edited By link

Bloody awesome video Jeff!

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deactivated-6296e29cde7c5

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This game is like crack. I like it...

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dofuss

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Edited By dofuss

Just played 2 and 9 back to back having never played 2 before... 9 is just harder...

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NickNorman

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Edited By NickNorman

Ha HA! I'm THE GREATEST! ... HUUUUHWAAAAAAAAAA ... Great, great, great, GREAT!

:D

I can't wait for this to come out Tuesday for the XBLA.

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RetroIce4

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Edited By RetroIce4

Howard Dean On the Loose!

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MakoTitan

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Edited By MakoTitan

Lol at 3:00...Man, I understand you frustrations. Its just one of those games where the creators are sitting behind a desk and laughing during its creation. Lines like, "I can't wait to see how mad people get here!!!" and "What if we made it so THIS MANY things could kill you on this part." were uttered maniacally. Lol.

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xDLGx

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Edited By xDLGx

Not sure if I should get the game on 360 or PS3 yet. Will be interesting to see how it is to play. I used to go through the first three Mega Man games like they were nothing, when I was a kid.... Start the morning by finishing one of them before going to school. I'm pretty sure that my Mega Man platforming skills have gone waaaaaay downhill since I was 8-9 or so and Mega Man 9 will be impossible :-P

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creamstatic

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Edited By creamstatic
4:40
CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU "OH JEEEZZ!" "chueow chueow chueow chueow
CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU "OH GOD!" "     chueow chueow chueow chueow

LOL! This is why I never play megaman games.
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Metron4

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Edited By Metron4

Man, I must be a masochist. I didn't even want this game until I watched that video. Now I have to have it.

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ctuck

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Edited By ctuck

This game isn't hard at all... once you play it enough times to have all the patterns burned into your brain and then get a stroke of luck and don't screw something up.

Piece of cake.... the wily level's are attrocious, I spent 6 lives on one room.. SIX DAMN LIVES AND COUNTING!!!!! Hell, and thats AFTER I found out you could freeze the magma beams with the concrete blast.
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kappamerc

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Edited By kappamerc

'Thats cus you aint no good at mega man son...' - Best line of the video haha...

Great thing to say to someone whose about to throw their controller through a wall :D.

Seriously though, very hard game.

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noesmano

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Edited By noesmano

Loving Megaman 9, but yeah, it's a hard game.  I've managed to kill the 8 robot masters in 1hr 58mins, but goddamn!  Wily''s Castle is so horrific!  Four levels, each with a boss and if you get a game over you start the whole castle over again!!  Madness!  I haven't got to Wily yet.

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Heroclix0rz

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Edited By Heroclix0rz
"Want good proof that your gaming skills have gone completely soft in this era of regenerating health and constant checkpoints?"
QFT
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Roger_Klotz

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Edited By Roger_Klotz

Don't worry Jeff, Mega Man 9 hates me too, but I believe it to be a love-hate relationship. The light will shine through soon.

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Hef

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Edited By Hef

I want a white dualshock

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Erdie

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Edited By Erdie

Haha, I remember loving the Mega Man games.  All I did was download the demo and ended up dying 7 times to make it to the boss (which they didn't let me battle, of course.)  I used to be fine with that back in the day, but now I've got too many other games competing for my time, and playing the same stage over and over made me lose interest all too quickly.  Went right back to playing Resistance.  (I'm new to PS3, cut me a break!)

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jacksukeru

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Edited By jacksukeru

Can't wait to get my ass handed to me by this game. Now for some Mega Man 2 to warm up.

Edit: Played 9 yesterday and beat all eight robot masters. I'm glad to se that while it's hard it's not punishing in the same way as some other games I've played recently (Castlevania: DraculaX Chronicles).
Actually, I would put it on my "Fun Hard" list of games. Games that are challenging, but not because of bad control or cheap enemy attacks that steal away half your health bar.

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LouChou

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Edited By LouChou

Mega Man makes Ninja Gaiden look like a game of lacrosse. Now, I've never played lacrosse, but I would imagine it's easier than Mega Man. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you play lacrosse you're probably good at Ninja Gaiden, and bad at Mega Man... ?

This is what I get for trying to talk 5 minutes after waking up...

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SpikeDelight

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Edited By SpikeDelight

Scissor- Hooooh.

Best line ever.
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Krelle

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Edited By Krelle

I felt the same as you Jeff. I hated Megaman9 for about an hour. Then, somehow, I got better at it.

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Enigma2099

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Edited By Enigma2099

i'm sorry, but watching this video makes me think that they just made Mega Man ONE all over again... if I wanted to frustrate myself that much, I'd tie my hands behind my back and watch porn...

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DondonIcon

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Edited By DondonIcon

In Mega Man 9, game beats you.

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LiverKick

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Edited By LiverKick

Jeff, watch out for your blood pressure, dude.  You're gonna get a stroke playing that game.  Good that you walked away from it.  I don't know the fascination people have by playing games that make them frustrated. 

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sdauz

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Edited By sdauz

hhaha megaman beats gersman!

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hazelnutman

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Edited By hazelnutman

I wish I had your self-control Jeff.

lol @ the end

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sp1der1976

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Edited By sp1der1976

We've all been there

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Replica23

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Edited By Replica23

Nice one. :)

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Alex_Murphy

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Edited By Alex_Murphy

Heh, nice. It also would have been cool to see a little box in the corner showing the gameplay and what's killing him.

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coonce

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Edited By coonce

hahahhahaahaha.