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Giant Bomb News

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There Are Two New Giant Bomb Shirts Available Now!

Win - or don't - with two new shirts available for sale in the store.

There are two new shirts available for order or pre-order right now! Note that the Nobody Wins shirt is a pre-order item. You will not receive orders that include this shirt until late August!

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First up, and available for purchase and immediate shipment, is the My First E3 shirt, available in a variety of men's and women's sizes, commemorating the first visit of everyone's favorite millenials to something that is easily in the top five or eight gaming events of the entire year! I have recently learned that I am a "xennial," and so unfortunately I don't understand the humor and enthusiasm of today's monetized teens, which is why we had one Ben Pack write the description of the shirt:

E3 2017 will go down in history as THE most important E3 of all time. Sure, it was the year that we finally got a Skyrim re-release and a new Bubsy, but most importantly of all, it was _their_ first E3. Relive the memories of the My First E3 podcast with Abby and Ben with your own choice merch, guaranteed to be 100% better than any shirts for sale at the actual conference. Buying this shirt is only true way for the lovers to show the haters what's good.

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Next up is the Nobody Wins shirt which, again, is a pre-order item! It will ship in late August if you place an order which includes this item! We are taking pre-orders on the Nobody Wins shirt until August 7th, at which point we will start printing all of the pre-orders, which takes around 10 business days! Sorry for the delay! We are going to be printing more of these shirts to keep them in stock after the pre-order, but most likely we'll only be keeping one or two of the color options, so if you want a specific color you should pre-order it! You can find all of the color options right over here. Here is a canon-approved description of the shirt:

With enough repetition, even the most pleasurable of tasks can become a chore, or even a form of torture. No need to take my word for it, though! Just ask your cousin Emily: the club she was at for the dance marathon might not have appreciated her one-star review, but she appreciated losing her feet even less, I imagine.

The Partynauts of Giant Bomb may not be confined to a wheelchair quite like dear, poor Emily, but in a way, their suffering is all the more insidious for being invisible. After hundreds of turns thrown away on an altar dedicated to the malevolent gods of Randomness and Futility, their scars, although mental, are just as real as anyone else’s. Truly, when the fun is mandatory, Nobody Wins.

Last but not least, here is our customary warning about customs charges:

We have had a larger-than-usual number of reports of customs/tariffs charges being applied to Giant Bomb merchandise shipments to non-U.S. addresses. Usually these shipments will be held up at a customs office and require an additional payment to be released and shipped to the final destination. Unfortunately we cannot take responsibility for these charges and cannot issue refunds for them. If you live overseas, you may want to check with your customs office to see what amount of imported items will trigger these charges. Apologies!

66 Comments

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PassiveSpiral

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Nobody wins...except us with these awesome shirts!

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neverknowsbests

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buying!

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batalskar

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In the immortal words of Vinny "Aw yEEEEEEEEEEES!"

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frytup

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Haters beware.

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BTStreleckis

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The Nobody Wins design absolutely cracks me up.

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Physicalos

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Oh man, I was hoping the next update would be the latest murder episode.

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singing_pigs

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These are amazing! Who are the artists who made them?

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AaronMT

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Thanks Matt, going to grab one

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Zabant

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I dunno, danluigi looks like he's won in that image.

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ripelivejam

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Hey guys, I only have so much money.

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Ten19

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Edited By Ten19

Very weird decision to approve the design of the Mario Party shirt, why not just make them all babies? Instead Waluigi-Dan looks like a creepy child molester.

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MadBootsy

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Does Abby have a connect the dots puzzle on her arm?

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GamerChiCcK

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Both shirts look awesome, respect to the artists who made them!

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TheMasterDS

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I preordered purple for Waluigi.

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shrinerr

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By now my wardrobe consists solely of Giant Bomb shirts, and I'm fine with that...

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deactivated-66361f5b4a584

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These designs would make cool stickers.

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fedallah

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@madbootsy: That appears to be the Orion constellation. A tattoo?

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vsharres

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That brad on the nobody wins shirt is adorable

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Lanechanger

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How is Abby not dabby while wearing that swaggy... now my internet's laggy.

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bathala

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I like the Nobody wins ?

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Jedted

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Does Abby have a tatoo of the Constellation Orion on her arm or are those just birthmarks? The 3 little dots in a row are most uncanny if they're natural.

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tayloebeme

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In the immortal words of Jeff Bakalar, "Fantastic."

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Zefpunk

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tiny baby Wario Brad is my hero. he is real, and he is my friend.

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NickFoley

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Gonna order both. Kelly Green nobody wins and my first E3

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suburbanpirate

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Abby isn't dabbing while wearing her dabbing shirt. You just lost a customer

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BeyondStrange

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I do quite enjoy sticking it to the haters....

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runwhiteboyrun

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Man that Goomba should have a parachute on it...

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zor

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Sold... Waluigi and Mario Party on the same shirt, how could i say no.

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ottoman673

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where'd the murder island shirt go..?

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WrathOfGod

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hi im drew scanline's lawyer and im here with the cops to arrest you for unauthorized usage of drew

regards

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xXDoofusmanXx

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@madbootsy: it looks like the constellation Orion to me

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ripelivejam

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where'd the murder island shirt go..?

It was limited edition, you had to preorder it to get it. Sorry. :(

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deactivated-5e6e407163fd7

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@rorie The murder island shirt ran larger than any previous GB shirts I've purchased. Are these going to be the same as that shirt or of older shirts or another style all together?

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deactivated-660f389e0f7d3

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@madbootsy: Might be the Orion Constellation? http://imgur.com/gallery/Morwq

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PunchBot

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Edited By PunchBot

Which color do I choose?!

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Del673

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Edited By Del673

Dabby is purposely not dabbing I assume.

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PaddyDodger

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SO many buys...

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Arrested_Developer

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Drewshi!

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geirr

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The irony of selling a t-shirt with @benpack on it and not having XLT options is pretty good.

Also please, please consider XLT options. My friends don't need to see more of my midriff.

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MostlySquares

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Man, wish I wasn't so fucking old. That millenial shirt looks great. Both do.

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avantegardener

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I often think these shirts probably keep CBS legal busy.

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IcyEyes

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Edited By IcyEyes

meeeeeeeow

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Radish

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Dabbing shirt is real cute.

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tomchain

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I'm gonna start a band called "Monetized Teens"

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chilibean_3

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My girlfriend is a high school teacher who would be all over that dabbing shirt if it weren't for the E3 text.

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deactivated-64b8656eaf424

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Monetize the teens!