Bubsy 3D

Bubsy 3D is remembered as one of three 3D platform games released in 1996 that established the template for the genre, along with Super Mario 64 and Crash Bandicoot. Christopher Reese, the lead programmer of the game, actually admitted that the game was a disaster (especially after he saw Super Mario 64) and that he would have preferred to start over from scratch if Accolade had let him. He originally stated that the game was supposed to be an early 3D game, but no one accepted that excuse because other far superior 3D games came out before Bubsy 3D. Because of that, he tried to blame this game's failure on Super Mario 64. The game was originally going to be released for the Sega 32X, but due to the unsuccessful European release of the 32X, Accolade held back the rights, until the game would be released on a more stable platform--in this case, the PlayStation. A Sega Saturn version of the game, based on the original 32X version, named Bubsy III, was also planned but was canceled due to the game's poor reception, which I am about to go over, because everything, every single thing went very wrong. To write down the first problem, a very poor first impression. The intro in the game is nothing more than showing the plot in the form of a slide show displayed on the TV and presented by a Wooly named Poly and Ester. The intro can be so long that you literally fall asleep with it. The title screen also looks very weird due to the fact that Bubsy's face is uncanny looking, depicting a big smile with visible teeth and creepy-looking eyes that would remind some people of the Joker from Batman. The start game button is also put in two places. But to get the biggest reason out, we get absolutely terrible graphics and presentation. While colorful, the graphics are akin to an Atari Jaguar game or even worse, SNES or Genesis 3D game. The platforms are just texture-less polygons and the floor is mostly in a checkerboard pattern or just a color as well as water and acid have no textures at all, and if they do, they literally look like something out of an NES game and the hills look like colored triangles; it really looks like the game was made in Windows 95 (my favorite Windows). Even The Crow: City of Angels, which was released on the same platform and also on the weaker Sega Saturn had much better graphics than this game. Speaking of the color palette, it is very bland, nauseating, and dull to look at. Speaking of the presentation, the in-game animations of enemies, obstacles, etc. are very sluggish with the feel of them moving at 8 frames or less per second. The characters look poorly designed (besides Bubsy since he's obviously the best-looking model in the game). Bubsy's rendered in-game 3D model is ugly. While his cover art render of his appearance looks like a joke, his in-game design is a sight to behold. Speaking of those cutscenes, the CGI animation looks like FMVs from any bowling alley. The reason why the game looks bland was that they tried to do HD textures while other games on the PS1 had blocky textures only to find out that HD textures ate up a lot of memory which the PS1 didn't have. Even though collision detection might exist in this game, enemy projectiles can still go through platforms that don't make sense. In fact the engine used for the game caused some really bad depth perception, as enemies tend to be further away than they seem, and can mess up your jumps as a result. The bad soundtrack gets annoying quick since all of it sounds repetitive and it doesn't actually fit the game itself since it sounds more like clown music or the squeaking of squirrels than anything else. Also, dreadful sound design; the second and third-level music consists of mostly annoying sound bites added to the first-level music, marginally high-pitched and having weirdly placed accordions in the third level. This is better shown when the music that sounds pretty off-putting or poorly made as well. The noises the enemies make aren't any better. In addition, horrible and unbearable voice acting (even worse than Stupid Fricken Invaders), especially from the Woolies, whose voices are distorted, making them barely understandable. Bubsy's voice alone is no better. Bubsy's utterly unfunny, witless, and hyperactive one-liners are very annoying, and the most insufferable, downright aggravating lines of dialogue ever put to sound. Lani Minella is a very talented voice actress, best known for voicing many characters such as Luke Triton from Professor Layton, but the lines she was told to say along with having her talent being completely wasted as she was giving it her all, and as a result, it made it all so hard to listen to Bubsy's harsh & squeaky tone of voice when he says literally anything. In fact this makes Stupid Invaders decent. At least it's not Laraine Newman (and I hate her a lot, too). At least you have the option to shut Bubsy up in the options menu by disabling Bubsy's dialog, and because of this option, it makes him less annoying and insufferable. But some other settings in the options do not work; for example, music, even if it is muted, will still play. This game tries way too hard to be funny, with all of the level names being cat puns of other pieces of media (and some puns with the levels themselves have nothing to do with the puns in the slightest) & tons of unnecessary fourth-wall breaking from the titular Bubsy. The plot is confusing, nonsensical, and stupid. The "good" ending is arguably worse than the "bad" ending and regardless of which one you get Bubsy is still stranded away from Earth, meaning the Woolies are still free to invade it. To cut it short, 100% completion of the game is worthless. Dreadful level design, to the point where sometimes game exploitation is required to beat the levels. The later levels can get confusing as to where you're supposed to go even with the arrows, which are plastered everywhere and really help show how bad and confusing some of the levels are. Each level also has two hidden collectible rockets but it's never explained how you're supposed to get them. Some platforms are terribly distanced from each other, which is especially noticeable when there is water or acid under them, which means that after an unsuccessful attempt to jump to the second platform, the protagonist may die and the gameplay is frustrating. The boring and often bizarre animations that appear after death or when leaving the game for an extended period of time, especially when the protagonist dies make no sense; you always get to see clips of Bubsy dying, which feels pretty weird for a level completion screen. The controls are extremely terrible, unresponsive and even worse than in Bubsy in Fractured Furry Tales or Street Fighter: The Movie: If Bubsy is running at full speed it will take him more than 2 seconds after releasing the D-pad for him to stop. You also have to turn yourself towards the direction you want to move to instead of holding the D-pad or joystick much like a tank, which is very uncomfortable, awkward, frustrating, clunky, and stiff for a 3D platformer. It also makes something as simple as getting the basic collectible item difficult. The jump controls are even worse since you might often move on the side making you miss jumps or enemy stomps, which can lead to cheap hits/deaths. The gliding is uncontrollable as well, and if you look carefully, you will notice that you actually fall faster than when you're not using the gliding. Even the camera is uncontrollable and very clunky. Every time you jump, the camera always changes to an overhead view which makes platforming harder than it seems to be. On top of that, whenever you get hit, the camera spins round in front of the character, causing a fair amount of disorientation. Since Bubsy is a cat, he has Super Drowning Skills, but because of the flat, texture-less polygon graphics, it's hard to tell what's supposed to be water. Even worse, every time you touch water, you are automatically forced to see about 20 seconds of Bubsy drowning. Also, if Bubsy runs off a ledge, he does not enter a free-fall so he can land on a lower platform, instead, he instantly dies (whether if you don't die or see a death animation). This happens a lot in level 2. There is also an unused death animation with Bubsy falling through the ground and waving a white flag with an ! mark on the flag. At some point during development, fall damage might have been planned at some point. The Woolies don't move, but they only shoot small projectiles which are difficult to dodge because of the horrible controls. The game continues to reuse them over and over without any form of variation aside from recoloring. Even though they don't move it's still hard to jump on them due to the controls and horrible hit detection. Some of them you can't even kill as well and some of them are invisible. The enemies will even spawn from nowhere, causing more cheap shots on the player quite easily. Attempting to jump on the enemy is quite a challenge, because you have to jump on the enemy's highest pixel, otherwise you will receive damage from him. What's worse is that attempting to jump over the projectile will result in Bubsy getting injured, which makes the game unplayable. There are even very few bosses, as there are only four bosses in the entire game, two of which are in the same level. The boss fights themselves are unfairly difficult due to the controls and the almost non-existent possibility of jumping on the opponent, making the game almost impossible to beat. In order to beat the first boss of the game, you have to glide over the residue of the yellow energy balls the boss fires at you to fly higher so you can damage the boss, but you wouldn't know that without looking it up. This is very poor navigation. The European version's back of the case consists only of screenshots without any description or advertisements, which is what every game case is supposed to have to explain the gameplay rapidly. This implies they even knew how bad it was. To add insult to injury, the American version's back of the box actually has text along with screenshots, and this version was released months before the European version. At least on the back of the box, they advertise having life pickups, which is a standard feature in most games. The North American cover of the game states that it received a positive review from EGM. EGM actually gave it a negative review that was quote-mined for the cover, meaning that the developer of the game was using fake reviews to make players think that it has received another positive review. Despite what was said on the cover, EGM stated they never said anything positive about the game and actually gave it a 3.25 out of 10. The quote was taken completely out of context from a preview article and twisted to make it sound positive. Said quote didn't even come from the review itself. It might surprise you that, despite having many negative reviews, Bubsy 3D actually had a few good reviews with its release. Contrary to popular belief, PSExtreme is a real magazine, and it did actually give the game their "Gold X Award" as an approval to play the game (and is even listed on the EXcavate rating list from PSExtreme). However, due to the unpopularity of the magazine in general, a mistaken rumor suggested that the magazine and the award were fake, and Accolade simply used them as a way to promote the game. Overall, this game is the worst PlayStation game in the world, and the most annoying and terrifying game of the 1990s! THIS GAME IS DEFINITELY HIGH ON DRUGS! DO NOT PLAY!