If you had to describe a Dark Souls boss to the police, which one would you choose, and how would you describe it?

"Yo there's this grey wolf the size of a building holding a big fucking sword in its mouth."

A guy trapped in a nightmare of his own making keeps asking to play Tag with me.

The worst one.

Bed of Chaos.

@nodima: Which one is that?

Nice. XD

"Okay so his name is Centipede Demon, and he's a centipede demon."

Officer, the guy looked like a volcano fucked an octopus and a person in a threesome and somehow all three are the father!

@tartyron: That's great, but which DS boss is that supposed to be?

Officer the man is extremely dangerous. I believe he is high off something. He looks like a bum with no shirt on and he is constantly swinging a big sword around and never seems to get tired.

@captainofthestars: Micolash

There are Five Four Kings.

"Okay, imagine the biggest rat you've ever seen. Imagining it? It's not big enough. No, bigger. BIGGER."

:biggest

@broshmosh: By far my favorite way to tell someone about a From enemy is “This x is much larger than an x should be”.

Boy lemme tell you this comes in strong in Elden Ring.

I was crossing a bridge one night when this giant butterfly comes out of nowhere and starts shooting lasers at me.

Big wolf, like really big.

@captainofthestars: Ceaseless Discharge from DS1. It's one of the more forgettable boss fights.

@tartyron: but the weird move where you walk upwards to him and then walk back to the fogdoor to make him lose a bunch of hp is so memorable!

Contribution:

What happens when you combine big and strong with small and agile.

Gwyn?

Golem made of iron.

Sad giant walks in circles.

Spider booba.

Very tall lady in a white fur coat with a gigantic scythe.

Yup.

@onemanarmyy: Might have to be more specific, there are quite a few giants in the Dark Souls series. XD

Big Hammer Boi and Lion King

Skeleton in a pimp coat made of other skeletons.

Fat boy with a hammer.

Big Red Dragon

Tyrael cosplayer

Master Splinter after being done with being the nice guy.

Pursuer, DS2?

A blind borzoi.

(From bloodborne, though).

@facelessvixen: Right game, wrong boss.

@shindig: This is superb.

"I'm not quite sure officer. It all happened so fast... 10 or 15 times"

It's a big butterfly.

Fire-breathing gargoyles.

A rat with a mohawk.

two mean guys. one big one little

A literal Boglin.

Picture a spider... a big one.

But where the face should be, there is a naked lady.

Two partners at a law firm wearing gaudy attire beat the shit out of me.

Naked lady with one arm.

Vegeta and Nappa.

just a skeleton goin crazy in a room

"Gaping dragon."

It's right there in the name.

Biggie and Smalls

Bullshit. And there's a whole bed of it.

You'd think it'd be pretty easy to explain to the cops that Jabba the Hutt ate all your clothes and you're really the victim here

Four Nagato Iwasaki sculptures hanging out in a pitch black pit.